Do looks even matter for Aspies?

Post Reply New Topic

I would think anybody who has genuinely been in love can confirm that looks certainly aren't everything, but I would be lying, if I ever claimed it didn't matter at all. Personally, I am very visual person and I need to feel strong physical attraction to a person I want to be romantically involved with and have as my partner. Profound friendships equal to different kind of love.

I take care of myself physically and I'm aware I have my admirers. I am similarly aware that I couldn't help eventually feeling insulted, if my partner would refuse to see similar effort.

They matter to me a lot more than I wish they would.

My exes (including my ex-wife), although few in number, were very conventionally attractive and now it's the only type I seem to respond to physically.

I wish there was some way to reverse or change this condition.

I tried dating someone I wasn't physically attracted to at one point and it was an absolute disaster when it became sexual.

Unfortunately, they matter to me too. I don't know if it's an Aspie issue for me and the way my brain is wired but when it comes to thinking about dating someone, there's no middle ground as far as looks go. Someone's either attractive or repulsive. That doesn't mean I'm only interested in dating super models, far from it. There are plenty of women, even heavy women whom I find attractive. It basically comes down to thinking about hugging them. I'm not huge for physical contact with people, but women I find attractive, I would like to hug, hold hands with etc. I tend to shudder at the thought of hugging someone I don't find attractive.

I would say to me looks madder when it comes to sex but not so much when it comes to dating

Yes, they definitely matter. Sorry, but its just completely unreasonable to expect the average person to be attracted to someone who they don't find to be particularly good looking. Though, my standards of "good looking" aren't exactly all that high. There have been girls that I've looked at and thought "Damn, they're HOT", and then it turns out everyone else thinks they're ugly or something. Personally I'm not attracted to the stereotypical blonde, big breasted slut that many males my age like.

Yes. If you're hot enough you can be a complete failure at flirting and women will be all over you. How do I know? Well it helps that I don't flirt with women...I point out their huge rack and then complain about every crease I see on their bodies.

I'm going to ask for a Honda Fit from my sugar daddy.

I think looks do matter, but only when it comes to facial symmetry. I'm attracted to women who have a beautiful face, as well as a big bum as I've said in another thread. Most people do have attractive faces, because their parents thought they were at least somewhat attractive to mate and have children who have attractive faces. The big breasted blond stereotype I only find attractive if she has a pretty face. But for me, the body that most men are attracted to I'm not, I'm attracted to overweight women. I don't repulse women with the stereotypical attractive body, but I find overweight women much more attractive.

I don't think I'm bad-looking either....I'm tall for one thing (6'2"), have hair, average build. I can't help but wonder if my glasses are a turnoff

Still, women won't give me the time of day And it's not like I just approach hot women....I've asked out very average-looking (but still cute to me) ones.