Dating my ex's sister

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I wouldn't. N/o, but you'll come across as a sleazebag. While you may have something going on, the duress of 'staying in the family' can make it a bit harsh.

My colleague is going to marry his fiancee this summer, who is his ex's sister , the relation between the two sisters is totally normal , I went to lunch with them (the guy, the fiancee and the sister) several times and there's not even the least awkwardness between them.

So yea, for an aspie guys like Captain who's finding a hard time to get a girl liking him back it's really worth it , he should never let a such opportunity slips away , he might never finds another and lives alone his entire life just because,once upon a time, he made a stupid "ethical stand" that no one would give a s**t about, screw that , and screw what the others may think.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 23 Mar 2011, 12:56 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Pretty much agree with this, unless it was the op who ended the relationship with his, if he did and then start's dating the ex's sister, then the ex is going to feel betrayed by both parties concerned.

If either of you aren't making a big deal about keeping it a secret there should be nothing to feel bad about. It is awkward but if both of you develop more interest in one another beyond simple familiarity, there could be a relationship.

People make choices. She decided to continue her life elsewhere, I say wish her well and continue living yours.

That seems like a healthy, reasonable attitude. I had a friend once that always said that if one of his friends dated his ex, it would be completely unacceptable to him. I think I respected his wishes when she indicated being romantically/sexually interested in me. Now I feel like I wasted an opportunity to be with someone I cared about. I am not even acquainted with this person as a friend any longer, and he lives in another city. So, I find this type of "ownership" just as repulsive. I don't see what is disgusting about dating someone that was with someone that you are related or close to. It isn't like incest or in-breeding. There are biological/health reasons to avoid that. It seems more like an idea based on feelings of bitterness from those for whom a relationship did not work. To deny two other people happiness because one could not achieve it seems unfair.

This is why marriage vows, promising to "own unto death," are excessive relics of unenlightened society. They belong to times when men treated women as property, and they were created as sacraments of stringent religious fervor before female empowerment and womens rights movements. if you want to spend life with one person, that's fine, but it shouldn't be torture. The threat of breaking promises for "forever" makes it too hard to seek happiness when one is miserable.

Last edited by axeb on 23 Mar 2011, 3:12 pm, edited 3 times in total.

I wouldn't because that will make you look like a tool. It's the same lines of don't date your best friend's ex.

That's just an arbitrary rule.

Yeah, I don't see the big deal. If she feels like you are only doing it to get back with her, she will try to sabotage it. The thing you have to remember is that girls see every guy as a potential husband, so what's going through your ex's mind is "Instead of being his wife, I'm going to be his sister in law??" In any case, there is nothing wrong with dating your ex girlfriends sister in and of itself.

That's really general, but not implausible. It sounds rather anxious. I wonder if NT women are more likely to come to such a conclusion

Well, it took me a few minutes to internalize the 'sister-in-law' part as a woman might think.

What the HELL. Just because I'm an aspie (which I don't even know for sure) doesn't mean I'm ******* desperate, and I'm sick and tired of you implying that. Go **** yourself.

Reread my post and do not put silly words in my mouth, I didn't say you're desperate, all what was pointing out to is the lack of guarantees in the future of finding another girl who likes you back, you're an aspie, right? And I assume that you normally have difficulties in bonding with others ,right?

Unless if you're one of those lucky attractive charming aspie guys who can fine a date once per week or month (like any NT) then you can afford to let this opportunity goes away or if you're indifferent whether you want to live alone or not AND you really believe this is unethical then don't do it. Otherwise, don't let it go just for making an "ethical stand" that really people won't give a s**t about after a while.

Excuse me, but being an aspie doesn't destroy your chances of dating. If you haven't noticed, a LOT of people here have a love life of some kind. Different aspies have different impairments. And... just because you're an aspie doesn't mean you have to take absolutely anything that comes your way. Here, let's go back and read your post. Hmm... Yeah man, that's irritating. I've dated before, and it's ridiculously unlikely at the age of 29 I'll never again get a female to like me back again. Your concern that I oughta take this because the journey to old age is likely to be solitary is just patronizing. So I have an opportunity with someone. You make it sound like Donald Trump offered me an executive position, or I saw a UFO or something. I don't know Boo, is it that rare for YOU?

It is, but I still wouldn't. I agree with most people here, that it is a little sleazy and wrong, but if things keep going well, I might act on this. I'd want her to keep it secret (even more sleazy and dishonest.) If she's worried about how her sister would feel, then it probably won't happen.

If you're uncomfortable with it, don't do it. Doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks.

I'm not going to say it would be a good or bad thing to do, but it does have the potential for going bad.

If things become serious with the sister, your ex may become jealous of the relationship. She might feel that its not fair that things went bad between the two of you, but her sister has a good relationship with you. If the ex feels that way then might try to drive a wedge between you and the sister to break off the relationship. From there things will go bad fast.

I would talk to the ex and express that you want to date the sister. See how she feels about it. If she has no problem with it then go for it. If she has concerns about it then respect what she says and move on.

The last thing you want is for the sister to have to decide if its more important to be with you or choose family because your ex has a problem with it. Either way that turns out, its going to be a bad situation and your the one that will have to live with the consequences.