Hey JulieKitty! I need your advice!

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rogal_dorn
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01 Aug 2006, 11:15 pm

MrMark wrote:
It's like I get the complicated stuff, but I have no sense about the basics, like how long to wait before I bother her again. (I asked a roommate once, "How long do you think I should wait before I call her?" and he said, "Wait?" :) ) Yeah, I'm fixated on the process.


Dude, with you here. The complicated stuff is easy, but the simple things, like ringing back, personal space, they are the hardest.



wobbegong
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01 Aug 2006, 11:55 pm

I guess it could simply be a matter of numbers.

For guys seeking women on those dating sites - maybe you have to send 100 emails to 100 different girls (and maybe make them all individual - you never know which ones of those girls are friends especially if they live in the same area), before you get one reply. So if you send one email, you can't be disappointed if you luck out. I don't know what the actual number is for dating sites, but it's probably written up somewhere.

I apply the same system to job hunting. If I put my hand up for 10 jobs, I might expect one or two interviews. It depends on what job market you're in. Eg LA acting industry - I think it might be much higher like 1000 tries before you get one good response.

The other thing you can do, that might help get some response from the girls, is change your profile a little bit each week. The best advice I ever saw, ie it got the most interesting ad to me, was one that said write a little bit (no not everything, just highlights) about what you did the previous weekend. Then you get something that tells everyone a little bit about yourself and whats important to you.

For example
Last week I saw Pirates of the Carribean 2 with some friends I still have from uni (20 years ago). Johnny Depp looks like he was having so much fun. I thought it was a little long but I could see why they included the mill wheel fight, though it added nothing to the story. The special effects were spectacular, and gooey. I also went house hunting. Saw various houses including a couple of money pits (cf movie "the money pit") but none that gave me a warm homey feeling when I walked in and looked around.

-----

Something like that sure beats "I like going to dinner and the movies and long walks on the beach". I like stuff like hiking and long bike rides too but I hardly ever do that kind of thing so if someone hooks up expecting this is how I spend my weekends, they are going to be horribly disappointed. But mostly writing the basic same old same old - doesn't help you stand out from the crowd. And on these sites - the men need to make themselves stand out any way they can.

I'm full of helpful advice here, but I have never put an ad up myself on one of those sites. I'd rather meet new people by getting out and doing things I enjoy.



MrMark
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04 Aug 2006, 8:05 pm

All right, here’s a kick in the head. I was checking my mail at Plenty Of Fish when I noticed a link at the bottom, “Who loves me?” I clicked on it to discover that I’m on two members favorites list, and one of them is a regular patron at my library! I’ve felt a little attraction for this woman and felt like maybe the feeling was mutual, which of course means I’ve been struck dumb in her presence. I’ve also gotten the idea she was seeing someone. She checked out a series of books on dating and the single life and that sort of thing, then her tastes changed and made me think she’d found somebody. I don’t remember the details. So, it looks like I’m going to have to take a deep breath and be brave and do something here. I’ll keep you posted.


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TheMachine1
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04 Aug 2006, 11:19 pm

MrMark wrote:
All right, here’s a kick in the head. I was checking my mail at Plenty Of Fish when I noticed a link at the bottom, “Who loves me?” I clicked on it to discover that I’m on two members favorites list, and one of them is a regular patron at my library! I’ve felt a little attraction for this woman and felt like maybe the feeling was mutual, which of course means I’ve been struck dumb in her presence. I’ve also gotten the idea she was seeing someone. She checked out a series of books on dating and the single life and that sort of thing, then her tastes changed and made me think she’d found somebody. I don’t remember the details. So, it looks like I’m going to have to take a deep breath and be brave and do something here. I’ll keep you posted.


You Lucky Bast***! :)



Enigmatic_Oddity
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04 Aug 2006, 11:34 pm

Nice photos on your webpage.



juliekitty
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06 Aug 2006, 6:51 pm

MrMark wrote:
Are there really that many guys out there who won't take no-thank-you for an answer?


YES



MrMark
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06 Aug 2006, 7:02 pm

juliekitty wrote:
YES

I had a snappy comeback for that answer, but I can't remember it now. :wink:
You see how bad I am at this. :lol:


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juliekitty
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06 Aug 2006, 7:14 pm

Well? Did you e-mail Miss Library Favourites List or what?



MrMark
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06 Aug 2006, 7:20 pm

Uh, yeah. The simplest thing for me to do would be to just post her response, but I'm not sure that's very appropriate. Let's just say her response was positive, cautiously optimistic. She's agreed to lunch or coffee, but we haven't made a date yet. I had a wisdom tooth removed Friday and haven't felt like doin' much.


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juliekitty
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06 Aug 2006, 7:59 pm

Yay! Keep us posted. :)