Have you given up on dating?

Page 2 of 2 [ 32 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2

Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 28,552
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA

11 Apr 2011, 11:31 pm

swbluto wrote:

nick007 wrote:

I quit trying for a relationship because I've ran into lots of problems as a result that I'm much better off without. If I had the money & skills to travel; I would do the mail-order bride thing because the dating scene is impossible for me; need to find a method around it

I'm personally thinking about making my thousands and then going overseas where humans are cheap and choosing the best significant-other-to-be. These Americans are just too expensive, in terms of financial and emotional demands and "Gotta have likable personality traits and views"(I.e., not the view expressed in this post... if taken literally. :wink:

), I tell you.

The dating scene is impossible for me because lots of women will not give me a chance & because I am to direct & straightforward. I am incapable of understanding things like attraction & playing hard-to-get. I think a mail-order bide thing or an arranged marriage would be the best options because I believe my partner would fall in love with me after a while because I would do everything I can to care for my her & make her happy if I was lucky enough to have one.

_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill

"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition

wefunction
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Jan 2011
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,486

11 Apr 2011, 11:46 pm

I've given up on dating, My husband gets way too upset when I try it.

Brianruns10
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Aug 2006
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,089

11 Apr 2011, 11:54 pm

I keep trying to give up, and then I meet someone I like and make a fool of myself trying to convince her of my worth, and the cycle repeats. One day I'll hopefully learn to stop trying, and to say to hell with dating altogether. It's a worthless, waste of time.

XLCR
Snowy Owl

Joined: 22 Mar 2011
Age: 70
Gender: Male
Posts: 130

11 Apr 2011, 11:59 pm

My answer is pretty much, yes. I tried going out for a few years when dad was alive. I'd go out after he was asleep so he wouldn't worry. I've had four dates in that time. Three of them were total disasters. In fact, I walked out on two of them after coming to the conclusion I was totally wasting my time. One of them went reasonably well, and I even got a good night kiss, but I never dated her again.

And all of this was before coming to the belief I was an Aspie. Now I wonder why I should bother, as I now know I am basically incapable of showing most of the women out there a good time. Once again it's the big crap shoot of actually finding one that's into the real you. It sounds like pretty steep odds. And then there is the paranoia of finding one that appears to be the real thing but is just gaming you because she is reading you as a sucker. I married one of those, but not for long.

roadGames
Velociraptor

Joined: 18 Oct 2007
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 401

12 Apr 2011, 12:33 am

I've had a few horrible relationships in the last year of being sexually active. I don't want anymore for a good 6 months.

Bataar
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 18 Sep 2008
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,919
Location: Post Falls, ID

12 Apr 2011, 1:49 am

I don't have a viable way to meet people so unless that changes, there's no point in hoping for a dating relationship.

Magnus_Rex
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Oct 2010
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,704
Location: Home

12 Apr 2011, 12:01 pm

Outside of messaging 3 women on OkCupid (one of them was a reply, actually), I haven't ever tried. The only possible way for me to date someone would be if the girl approached me. I'm pretty sure I will never have the courage to approach a girl. Maybe if I had some dating experience...
So yeah, I've given up without really trying.

Wow, that sounded depressing...

Moog
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 25 Feb 2010
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 17,671
Location: Untied Kingdom

12 Apr 2011, 1:14 pm

swbluto wrote:

So, have you given up on dating? Care to detail your reasons why?

I call it a hiatus. Until the right woman comes along who can tolerate all my shortcomings. So not likely.

_________________
Not currently a moderator

auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 115,217
Location: the island of defective toy santas

12 Apr 2011, 1:17 pm

dating sounds fun.

Who_Am_I
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 27 Aug 2005
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,632
Location: Australia

12 Apr 2011, 6:29 pm

No, but I'm not looking, either. I'm taking my usual approach: if someone comes along, fantastic!, but if they don't, I'm not lonely. People are too much trouble to settle just for the sake of having a relationship.

_________________
Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I

kepheru
Sea Gull

Joined: 31 Mar 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 218
Location: U.S.

12 Apr 2011, 9:34 pm

I guess I have. I used to be a totally hopeless romantic, always hoping to find the perfect woman, until a little more than a year ago. I basically realized no woman was ever really going to be interested in me the way I wanted and I noticed that when other people were in relationships it was more trouble than it seemed worth. I have basically the same approach as Who_Am_I now.

blauSamstag
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 5 Apr 2011
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,026

12 Apr 2011, 10:17 pm

Brianruns10 wrote:

I don't have that problem. I haven't met anyone who was interesting, pleasant, and single in years.

Some of the dynamics here are different. Where i live, people get married very young, and a majority of available women in my age group are bitter divorcees with bratty kids.

Esther
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 16 May 2008
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,575
Location: Across the Border

12 Apr 2011, 11:04 pm

auntblabby wrote:

dating sounds fun.

I can't tell whether aunt is being sarky or not.

I don't know if I've given up on dating. It seems that I never even started at all.

paladin
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 8 Aug 2006
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 64
Location: Philadelphia PA

25 Apr 2011, 7:53 am

nick007 wrote:

swbluto wrote:

nick007 wrote:

), I tell you.

That is so true. If I actually want to be around a real woman I have to find a stripper (30 min to an hour in the VIP room, $300/HR) or hire a prostitute. Sometimes it isn't always about sex. Sometimes I just need to hug a woman, kiss her on her cheek, touch her hair, caress her waist, or stare at her face. I find that strippers and prostitutes are very friendly, understanding and accepting when I tell them that I am a lonely Autistic. You simply can't do these things with anyone other than a stripper or a prostitute.

I would gladly trade a kidney for true love, but it isn't that easy.

spongy
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 17 Jul 2010
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,055
Location: Patiently waiting for the seventh wave

25 Apr 2011, 8:18 am

I haven´ t given up on dating because I still feel urges to ask a female out but due to some problems Ive had when asking a girl out in the past Im too afraid to ask a girl out most of the times so its almost as if I had given up on dating.

Im trying to focus on other aspects of my life such as my studies/improving the way i interact with others... also right now I dont feel like going to pubs most of the times unless theres nowhere else to go and the chances of finding someone outside those are very slim.

_________________
Please take the time to answer this quick survey to help improve the community

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt255139.html

Starlight-Supernova
Velociraptor

Joined: 10 Apr 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 430
Location: England, North West

25 Apr 2011, 9:47 am

swbluto wrote:

I haven't even started but I feel like I've already surrendered. There are just so many things that happen in my life that make little sense to me, people seem to exclude me for reasons that I can't deduce (But I feel like I can infer), my interactions with others, regardless of the mood or whatever, seem somewhat 'artificial' and they seem... weird. And, I'm not depressed, at least not according to that one depression test. I'm thinking something autism-related might be responsible for a lot of it or possibly it's speech-deficit related(Except that verbal test on psychtests said my verbal IQ was 139), but it just feels like there's a mysterious 'dark force' that declared "No, nothing will happen for you the way you might like with people, despite the best of your intentions! Sure, you may be great at mathematics and technology, but people are something you will never understand and successfully interact with!". I get the impression the general public thinks of me as being crazy (or situationally stupid). And I don't mean, "Boy, look at that CRAZY PARTY ANIMAL GO!", I mean like... nutty nutso. Especially when I make what I think are apt, clever analogies in various social situations and the only thing I get is effectively a blank stare or a "..." response.

So, have you given up on dating? Care to detail your reasons why?

Pretty much how I feel.

I put it down to rudeness and their lack of understanding rather then being my fault...they know that I am a nice guy and I try my best not to be boring with my topics and try to listen to them in interest (although to me they may sound as boring) but I am still excluded.

So yeah, I have given up but it's more of a case of them not trying to get to know me rather then me being awkward, trying to get a date (I actually don't care about getting one...I am just saying that I don't try to act awkward around people...especially woman). I tend to think I get on greatly with them, but I also see their flaws in arrogance (same with guys I try to hang around with but with little effect)....basically, only a few will give up their time for you....if you give up yours for them and they take the p***, just ignore them and don't bother...seems it's common anyway.

_________________
"...No matter how people see me as, pariah or paragon, I am but myself." and "I walk the path I walk because it is mine to walk." - Frimelda Lotice (Final Fantasy Tactics Advance 2)

Page 2 of 2 [ 32 posts ] Go to page Previous 1, 2

Jump to:

Have you given up on dating? Post Reply New Topic

Have you given up on dating?