Do you like tenacity in a partner?

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Yes! I've come to believe that the men who are attracted to me and my "strength" are really more interested in the challenge that controlling me presents. That means that instead of being men who are strong and desire a strong partner, they turn out to be completely weak - relying on lies and manipulation to create the pretense of love and trust. It's very, very difficult when you finally understand that the person you thought was a kindred spirit is really just a lying sack of sh!t with his own agenda....and that you attracted such a loser.


I was recently told to "get off my high horse" because I expect honesty. Since when did honesty become a sign of weakness, or an indicator of believing you're better than other people? Honesty is not supposed to be the exception - it's supposed to be the rule.


Yeah, I think that there's definitely a difference between women's verbal nature and men's "active" nature. But I'm a big believer in watching what a person does, more than what he/she says. I can receive behavior as a true indicator of a man's feelings for me, rather than all kinds of "I love you's"....that's just a phrase, after all. But whether it's expressed verbally or through behavior, it all comes down to intent - a person's true motivation. Does a man have the strength required to really connect with a partner? A true connection is based on intimacy, and there's no intimacy without honesty. I think, in a round-about way, that is connected to the tenacity you referred to. Showing that you care about someone requires an emotional risk, and taking a risk requires strength, and honesty. Maybe that's part of what you find so appealing/admirable? The courage to do what it takes to make a connection with another person? Just a thought....

I second everything HopeGrows said! Me too, me too!

I am so bold that men like it at first, often turning passive agressive rather than meet me head on about anything b/c of my "tenacity". In short, I think they are intimidated. I say what I mean and mean what I say. If I say I am going to meet a goal, I do. If I beleive a certian way, I live it, not just say it. I require honesty at all costs. I provide honesty at all costs. It is a hard way to go but I won't have it any other way. I am very self motivated and don't need someone else to cheer me on or give me a boost. When they do, that is nice, but my power comes from within. I can provide a lot of support and cheering on when others need it. I can also be a hellava accountability partner for someone who has less drive for say, working out. I will kick the man out of bed at 5am who said the previous night "I am going running, so help me get up when the alarm sounds" Yep, foot to the backside, send em sliding out and groping for running shoes rather than climb back in w. me and my foot. ha ha ha But now I am single so all tenacity is going to me and my kids for now!

I'd much rather have a painful truth than a beautiful lie anyday. I long for someone in my life with the tenacity to live their own truth with clarity of vision and motivation of purpose. What a refreshing thing that would be!

Lol, its truly an amazing world at times. Sometimes I admit that its better not try and understand it but find what works for me and let the rest of society do its own weird thing.


It would be an awkward admission to say I didn't.

Lol, who's to say I haven't? I'm just pondering values and ideas a bit.

Oooh, well then, I'm delighted to stand corrected in this case.

@OhNowIGetIt, if one of us was a dude, or both of us was into chicks, I'd propose to you right now.

Seriously, so many guys talk about wanting a strong, smart woman - then they get mad when you can put two and two together! Thanks for your post - it helps to know I'm not alone.

HopeGrows- got any kids? we could be like Kate and Ally (80's sitcom, watched it as a kid) they had seperate bedrooms but ran the house together! Ha Ha!

As a matter of fact, I do! I was coloring Easter eggs with her tonight, and she would love some live-in friends. We're in!

Sounds great! Hope you and dd had fun w. the eggs!