A frustrating dealbreaker

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SPKx
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30 Apr 2011, 6:33 pm

AardvarkGoodSwimmer wrote:

And also please consider school as one of your paths. As someone now is his late 20s, yes, you have a richer set of skills to draw upon. And a 'student' is often accorded more respect than an unemployed person, even if it's just one or two classes.

Last year I finished a combined nine years of post-secondary. I've had enough school for the time being.

Bethie
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30 Apr 2011, 8:14 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

You finally realized the 3 major import things in order to be at least eligible for dating: a job, a home(yours) and being available.

In that case, the vast majority of people in my city would be eternally-single, then.
Most people here live in apartments.

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CrinklyCrustacean
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30 Apr 2011, 8:31 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

but a car is crucial for having a social life.

How so? There are many legitimate reasons for not having a car. Are all the houses where you live located at the top of 1 in 3 hills, or extremely inaccessible? Is it impossible to use buses or trains or even pedal bikes instead? Serious question.

AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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01 May 2011, 2:08 pm

SPKx wrote:

AardvarkGoodSwimmer wrote:

Last year I finished a combined nine years of post-secondary. I've had enough school for the time being.

I quite understand.

Moog
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01 May 2011, 2:12 pm

Bethie wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

You finally realized the 3 major import things in order to be at least eligible for dating: a job, a home(yours) and being available.

In that case, the vast majority of people in my city would be eternally-single, then.
Most people here live in apartments.

If you live in suburbany or rural areas, it is a bit socially crippling. I can't go to town that often at night, or I have to get a taxi back, which will cost me about half my weekly income.

Though, I don't think having a car or not is a dealbreaker in the same way as living with your parents and having no job is.

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The_Face_of_Boo
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01 May 2011, 2:16 pm

Bethie wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

You finally realized the 3 major import things in order to be at least eligible for dating: a job, a home(yours) and being available.

In that case, the vast majority of people in my city would be eternally-single, then.
Most people here live in apartments.

Not all cities are first-world. In Beirut, Buses stop their services at 8:00 pm, and dates usually happen at night.

The_Face_of_Boo
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01 May 2011, 2:20 pm

CrinklyCrustacean wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

but a car is crucial for having a social life.

You, Bethie, and others , please read my post well again.

I said:

Quote:

You finally realized the 3 major import things in order to be at least eligible for dating: a job, a home(yours) and being available."

For me, where I live it's a job , a car (since getting homes is quasi-impossible for one person, here people get house loans based on two salaries but a car is crucial for having a social life) and being available.
People of late 20s are expected to have those.

Things change a bit from one place to another. Where I live , non-married people living with parents is the norm and certainly not a dealbreaker here (since it is....the norm here!) but an adult with a car is a norm here.

And by home I mean any form of homes, even an apartment.

Compris?

KenM
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01 May 2011, 2:35 pm

I think in this case "home" means a place of your own. Weather you are paying rent on an apt. or paying a morgage on a house. You are on your own and paying your own way. Shows you are responsible, thats what alot of people want in a partner.

The_Face_of_Boo
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01 May 2011, 2:55 pm

KenM wrote:

Exactly.

mra1200
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01 May 2011, 10:56 pm

AardvarkGoodSwimmer wrote:

Not statistically normal. But like the Andy character in '40 Year Old Virgin,' once the Trish character got to know him just a little bit, she realized he was a heck of a good guy and a real gem. And actually, their relationship would have gone even better if he had told her like mid way.

And actually, a slightly older woman like in her mid thirties, might find it refreshing. And some younger woman might also. I generally recommend, not as any kind of obligation but just expending one's horizons, for guys to be open to appreciating woman slightly older than themselves. Might not happen, but then again sometimes the magic does happen.

THIS.

Any woman that's going to look more at the "measurables" than who I am as a person, isn't someone that I want to be with anyway. I'm living at home for the next 13 months while in school, trying to save myself about $10-15k from student loan debt that I would otherwise have if I was living on campus. If they can't see how damn smart that is, then they're not really all that bright themselves.

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nick007
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02 May 2011, 3:05 am

I wish more people felt like this guy about living at home

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qkLJtC9wtc[/youtube]

I sometimes don't think living with my parents & being on disability limits me much with relationships. I know some guys around my age who are unemployed, still live with their parents & have no problems getting girls. Their girlfriends practically live with em & their parents till the relationship ends & then they get new girl who moves in. The guys are kinda a**holes thou. One is very overweight & has a tatue of Satan on his chest & women love him. Being unemployed & living with his parents in a small trailer doesn't seem to limit him with the ladies

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The_Face_of_Boo
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02 May 2011, 11:31 am

mra1200 wrote:

AardvarkGoodSwimmer wrote:

Are you living at a home of yours or at parent's? Because this would make a lot of difference to many of them, regardless how much you're saving with your genius plan (a 35 years old man is expected to have a place of his own,no?).

mra1200
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02 May 2011, 11:48 am

It would be a bigger deal if I had never left home, or had moved back home while living in roughly the same area. I moved back home from 1000 miles away, so that's slightly different. I'm going to accumulate some school debt, but I'm starting with very little debt compared to my peers, so I'm going to be way ahead of the game compared to my peers once I'm done with school.

I do have a plan in place to move out next May or August, so I also have that working in my favor, versus someone living at home indefinitely or for an unknown periodof time.

Also, the financial turbulence of the past few years has made it MUCH more common for people under 40 moving back home. 5 years ago before the bubble burst, your point would be much more correct.

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CrinklyCrustacean
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02 May 2011, 2:03 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

CrinklyCrustacean wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

but a car is crucial for having a social life.

You, Bethie, and others , please read my post well again.

I said:

Quote:

For me, where I live

I know you said that, and I asked why where you live has this mentality, because I do not see why a car is necessary for a social life.

mra1200
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02 May 2011, 4:25 pm

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Moog
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02 May 2011, 4:40 pm

mra1200 wrote:

A pointier point? :lol:

Really, whether having a car is a big deal or not is situational and conditional, like everything else, and one cannot speak for all.

I was really wondering how you managed to post this twice, with a 5 hour gap between them. Or is WP finally going bananas?

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