List of horrible dating advice

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If you're not jaded, then I stand well corrected. Call it a perception if it offends you. I perceive you to be a jaded individual.

Even if it doesn't apply to you personally, I think it's a good example. There are many here who are bitter, jaded, cynical, synonym of your choice. If I've confused you with them, then maybe there's something you are putting out that's led me to that.

If you have no personal interest in this topic, I wonder why you bothered to make it. And if you have no personal interest in my reply, well perhaps someone else can find some value in it.

If you want everything to be 100% literal, no one can help you. If you're not interested in my interpretation, then you can ignore it.

I had my jaded and bitter days, like any person on earth.

Bitterness or jadedness isn't a personality type, it's a mood. It can't become a part of my personality unless if I am some kind of serial killer psycho.

And what a person does when he's in that mood? he would vent, WP is a good (supposedly) place for that.

So yes, your example offends me because it's unfairly judgmental and labeling.

Do not use me as an example for the benefit of others, whether you're right or wrong about it.

That's what I said.




Refuse it then, as you have. I am not judging, I am reporting my perceptions, and then only because it seemed an expedient way of making a point.

If I said the sky was pink when it was blue, you could refuse that too. The only difference is you don't have any investment in what colour the sky is.



I had no idea you would be so upset about being thought of as jaded. My apologies, I shan't do it again.

The thing about dating "advice" is that advice is short and simple, and dating is not. The only advice that means anything to me is to go out of your comfort zone if what you are doing isn't working, because you have to start somewhere. Since everyone is different, the same things aren't going to work for everybody. Although there are certain laws of human attraction and pair bonding, if you have to ask yourself what they are, then it's useless to point them out. It's like pointing out dinosaur fossils to a fundamentalist Christian.

You might could feel comfortable with em in time if you gave the person a chance & you just might end up being very happy in the end

The worst dating advice I ever received:

1. "She really does like you, she's just playing 'Hard-to-Get'!"

No, dad, she really does hate me. I could tell by how she laughed when I asked her out, and then got all of her friends to laugh at me too.

2. "If she says 'No' with a smile, it really means 'Yes'."

Dad, I know you were born in the 20th century, so why the Stone Age myths? If she says 'No', and you do it anyway, then it's rape.

3. "Run the Bases! Go for Home!"

(For those who don't know, "Running the Bases" is a four-step system that begins with kissing and hugging, and ends with full copulation.)

Dad? I was only 14. Were you trying to get me married off, or just beaten to death by her father?

4. "Here's a box of condoms. Read the instructions and do what they say."

That's it, dad? That's "The Talk"? No suggestions on how to get her interested in me in the first place? No advice on love and relationships? Nothing else but "She likes you", "Don't take 'No' for an answer", "Bang her senseless", and "Use a condom"?

No wonder you and mom divorced.

Last edited by Fnord on 17 May 2011, 11:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

This is really true. The problem isn't really the advice, it's believing the advice is a full manual to dating. The advice is meant to be just a boost, a quick start. It's not the fuel you run on. "Just be yourself" can mean absolutely nothing for the long-term. But, if you're in a situation where you're trying to present yourself as some uber-intellectual who has insightful opinions about world events and complex ideologies when that's not really you, having the awareness to stop doing that, stop pretending to be someone else, might help.

On the other hand, aspies live making social accommodations that make them appear more normal than we are, so what's acceptably "being yourself" and what's keeping the crazy in? That's something you have to figure out. Nobody can tell you that. People like me will certainly do our best to try to tell you but we won't ever really know because only you are you.

So, you take the advice for what it's worth and put the elbow grease into making the rest of it work for you. No quippy little dating advice will ever engineer someone's love life. In fact, I've watched someone single-handedly destroy her marriage because she relied on her divorced mother's advice about E V E R Y T H I N G. You just can't do that.

Sure as hell beat my "talk". I was explained by throuough medical terms by a gynecologist (mom) the physics of sex. Then for my bday she gave me 2 boxes of condoms and said "im not telling you to use them, but theyre there and they expire eventually."

I see it a little differently.

I agree with moog generally but I think statements like that or "be confident" or whatever are somewhat out of the hands of people who don't carry themselves that way in general.

The way I see it, even though those notions seem to project entirely on "you" (the one who is to be "yourself" or whatever), they are more important when looking at the "other".

If you can't "be yourself" or "best self" etc on command in general, but you meet someone and that "best self" of yours is what naturally comes forth, it suggests a level of comfort or connection which means you have a legit chance. If you can bring your A game without thinking too hard about it, you might be in business, otherwise you're probably out of luck.

As previously stated, a lot of this advice s**t is massive generalization and almost impossible to adapt to someone you don't really know (or even in most cases people you know well), but in my own case, this "confidence" was crucial initially and throughout with 3 of the 4 long term girlfriends I've had. The 4th case (which was the longest-term of the lot) suggests that I may be wrong, and either way there are exceptions to the rule, but I digress...

Yes, good luck meeting us. And if you should be so fortunate, then what? While I think it's a bit like trying to fit two spin up electrons in an orbital, I don't think AS coupling is inherently impossible. However I don't think two people with AS would necessarily fair better than an AS/NT pair.



Most people will eventually start losing weight on the right diet/exorcise regiem, however that's really only part of the equation, and there are people who are just going to struggle a lot more with this than others due to metabolic issues/genetics, difficulty in changing aspects of their life style, food addictions, emotional issues, and so on.

For those with the body of a "husky" mortal, who want to date someone with the body of a god/goddess, or at least an average sized mortal, I think you need to stop and consider life style for a moment because couples tend to need to be compatible in things such as food preferences and activity/fitness levels.

I do think men have a bit of an advantage here though as I think women are far less likely to care if a man is 15-20lbs over weight than a man would care about a woman.



Agreed. Stop being a whiner emo. Do you think she wants some pansy who sulks and cuts himself when things don't go right? No. Of course not. Stop it.



There's about 7 billion "fish" in the sea. If only 10% were available then that's about 700,000,000. If 1% were your type, that's 7,000,000, and if you were the type of 1% of those people, that's 70,000 people, and if 1% of those mutually compatible people were that someone special, as in the person you could be madly in love with for the rest of your life, and they with you for the rest of theirs, then you have 700 soul mates.

If you want a fish out of the sea, you usually have to fish for them.



But he could try dating older women.



Generally speaking, yes, it is.

700,000,000
+ 70,000
+ 700

=700,070,700.

That's a lot of if's!

I am drunk and I will say that bboth Boo and Moog are great catches and

Well see for me I have to get to know the person before I become comfortable with the idea of dating......I mean every time I just go out with a dude before they make it into my comfort zone I end up deciding I did not really want to go out with them to begin with or the last time the dude ended up just wanting me for sex or so it seemed. So yeah since then my rule is I have to get to know guys before I consider any relationship beyond friendship.

Bad vision. But you get the picture anyway.

I knew what you meant, but I didn't want to pass up the opportunity.

aaaand?

That sentence was just getting interesting.

Hope you're not too hungover today, zen