Do you feel lonely?

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the frustrating thing, is that around all of us lonelyhearts there seems to be an impenetrable bubble which keeps our goodness from escaping and other's goodness from entering. the extra-frustrating thing is that lonelyhearts per se, don't seem to care too much for their own type, and either can't even see others lonelihearts or if they do see 'em, then they seem to avoid such like the plague.
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just my 2-cents' worth, not adjusted for inflation.

at least take some cold comfort in the fact that you aren't the only one feeling TOFU around here.

Yes to the topic. I've always been lonely. It pains me however whenever I see teenagers on here who bring this subject up. It constantly brings up memories of my own pain as a youth. Much of this subject has never changed for me and I'm now getting near that age when women are considered old maids. As a teenager though, the feeling was much more painful. I think as I got older I got a little more use to living with and by myself romantically...

It depends on the definition of lonely, because people can still feel lonely even if they're in a relationship.

this ^

there are lots of lonely married folk for sure. lots of unfulfilling relationships.

I do feel lonely but after my last failed attempt at relationship I know that being alone and lonely is not the worst thing out there. I try to distract myself with new hobbies, activities, studying, etc. It works sometimes and sometimes it doesn't.

@Auntblabby

Your observations about the lonelyhearts are very interesting. I've been thinking about it as well. It makes me wonder if we really have something "broken". Or are we just afraid to make a connection that might actually work out ? Or maybe we're just so sick of loneliness that we don't want to see it in others or deal with it? Just wondering....

all those things you mention are it in a broken nutshell. it is like i was born lacking the right stuff that enables proper [normal] social functioning, that enables personal connections to be made. the lack of having social intelligence means that nothing else in my life works properly as well. i feel like a car with a shot transmission that can only limp down the street and back, serving as a space occupier rather than as something useful or desirable- i have had to learn to be content to sit in the driveway and watch the traffic go by.

Yes this is true and it would imo it would be much worse to be with someone you can't stand than to be by the person you know the most, yourself.

I often feel like this as well and I do blame my barely-existing social skills but lately I've been wondering if it's really just the lack of social intelligence that makes me a lonelyheart. I know a couple of people that are NT and great and interesting and have amazing social skills but they are just as lonely and unsuccessful when it comes to relationships. So I was thinking that maybe some people are not born "broken" but "brake" very early in life with one of the first rejections they face while the others just "bend". Maybe it's our perception of selves and expectations that becomes inadequate and it determines our behavior and our choices in objects of our affection. Maybe being on the spectrum makes us more likely to be among those who "brake" and the consequences of that are more severe and intervene more spheres of our lives.
I don't know if any of this makes any sense. It's just my mind wondering about the things I can't understand.

I'm right there with you, but don't knock the fleeting connections she talks about. There's value in them.

Yes it actually is so much worse. I learned it the hard way.

Hey now. Just because someone is married and lonely doesn't mean their relationship is unfulfilling.

My existence has always a been very separate one and in many ways a very challenging and unpleasant one. I know very few, if anyone, can ever look upon me and it, without feeling the need to laugh at me, because of my inability to control my anxiety and the problems I have interacting with people.
From early childhood I have always been a loner, and I suppose it will stay that way for some time to come. I would like to share my time with someone though. Someone who has a respect for me and my difficulties. Someone who would care for me rather than be mean.
I do pretty much everything on my own, and I feel lonely coz I realize that my world is solitary and that it's so unlike everyone else. Maybe it's more of a longing to be like everyone else, rather than being lonely. I guess a change wouldn't be so bad. I mean I play games on my own, watch my favourite sports and tv shows on my own, go to prayers on my own, do my work on my own. Maybe I long for a change rather than just being lonely. i'm not really sure...

that makes perfect sense to me, especially the "wondering about the things i can't understand" part. as far as your NT acquaintances are concerned, maybe the part of their social intelligence that pertains specifically to making intimate connections with other people, is missing or broken as you say. for me, it is the body language/non-verbal communications module that is missing in its entirety, and this is the major impediment to my success in life, in general. without social success, there can be no other kind of success, with relationships and with money and with fitting-in somewhere- all these worldly goods are in a single package deal, from which people lacking social intelligence [of which body language fluency is the lion's share] are totally excluded. btw, i wonder what percentage of us here are hermits living in poverty?

Yes

To make matters worse practically all of the friends I used to hang out with are in relationships now and don't have much time to hang out with me anymore

On the positive side......I suppose it gives me more time to theorycraft for SC II :/

Yes, I get incredibly lonely, yet it is not a multitude of friends I desire, but rather just one person to share time with and connect with, with whom there is mutual understanding. I tend to find that if I am totally alone, I can simply detach from that and focus on my interests...but if I come to like and feel for someone, I tend to feel the loneliness more acutely, and to notice more and more the couples walking hand in hand and sharing things together, and then I either become very unhappy or very bitter. It can be infinitely more lonely having strong feelings for someone, and spending time with them, but their remaining at an emotional distance(and finding yourself unable to express your own feelings of affection), than to be totally alone and spend time with no-one, I am finding.

I think the only way I could ever be in a place of ease at my aloneness, would be by moving to a cottage in a remote, countryside area, thus avoiding seeing other human beings in their daily interractions.