"Why are you still single?"

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i have been asked this, in some other iteration; it basically came coupled with the assumption that i "must be gay".
some other times it just kinda came up in 'casual' conversation (late at night, had some beers...), literally shocking those who heared...

Why?
Why it's obvious?

+2
for me, not moog. thatd be rude.

No - because I only speak regularly to my clients and they think I'm still married, it makes for some awkward conversations sometimes...

Oh, goodness yes. The world travels in pairs, and there's an unspoken assumption that there must be something wrong with you if you stay single for very long, whether it's by choice or not.

In the extreme, men assume you must be a ball-busting, man-hating b*itch, and women assume you "can't keep a man".

Such attitudes used to hurt my feelings, but now I just find them mildly annoying and not worth worrying over.

I used to get asked that question, but not anymore. Maybe my looks have faded or maybe because people know I'm unemployed and thus can't get anything.

The only one who sort of asks me this question is my young nephew -- he's at that age when he's curious about girls and relationships so he'll ask me "Why don't you have a girlfriend?" And I tell him the truth: I haven't found anyone to connect with yet.

It doesn't irritate me. In fact, what is more irritating is friends and family that don't seem to care...I could have this army of people who know me helping me find love, but no. Maybe they don't feel like it's their business...though I guess they would contrary to other sentiments here.

Only really on the internet. If females have enough options to play around with, either online or offline, it will happen, especially the more urban, healthy and/or educated they are.

People have assumed me to be gay since I was in college if not high school. I'm 34 now and totally used to it. It's weird and sometimes frustrating living in Seattle's "gayborhood". Men hit on me, but never women. Apparently I'm not clued into non-verbal signals of interest from women, but otherwise seem like a good enough catch, thus people assume I'm gay. This came up in a Questionland post I did and linked to here a few weeks ago.

It's interesting: I am often assumed to be gay, but only by straight people, gay men seem to intuitively understand that I'm straight...

That gay assumption keeps puzzling me. People are assuming that gays have no relationships?

I have that same experience. And I have gay friends who invite me to parties where I'm the only straight person. On the rare occasion the topic comes up explicitly, I point to my clothes and ask if I'd dress like this if I were gay.

Too often. It's very annoying and I've already ran out of smart comebacks.



Like getting a gun. Muahahaha

ha! same here. straight people often assume I'm a closeted lesbian (like OddFin, I find this puzzling, as all the lesbians I know are constantly in relationships) simply for the fact that I've never had a boyfriend and I don't really have crushes on people. I have asked several lesbians whether or not they found me at all attractive and they all said that they maybe would if I weren't so ostensibly straight.

"Why, is that a bad thing or something?"

And that is the crux of the issue...your assumptions are not true. At least not of women with AS

It's no different than a person asking someone with AS "Why don't you have any friends?" as if friends "just happen" to everyone, which we know they don't.