Does he have AS or not? And if he does, do I tell him?

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Dear Awes,

Thank you for another reply. Don't feel sorry for me though. It's a choice thing. I know it's not a good choice. As someone pointed out, NTs have their own issues as well...

Thank you to all of you who replied in private or publicly.

I spoke to him last night. He was not upset or angry with me. He gave it careful consideration. And he admitted he did possess traits of AS. He also said he would talk to his parents regarding his childhood to further assess.

In the end, I started giving him advice. I told him if he a relationship is something he wants in his life, knowing that he has AS and realizing what obstacles that he may face, may help in his quest.

And by relationship, I didn't mean me. When I told him I loved him, he did not reply. When he avoids, it generally means he cannot make a truthful comment. I actually like that because you always know where you stand with him. So there it is.

I now believe that he ties all his lovely views to me because I reciprocated the affection more than anything else. I think Awes you hit it dead on. He is perfect for me. But he does not feel the same. That he views me as not special enough for him.

Awes, your honesty was so dead on. I am still reeling from it. But I needed your very blunt reply to wake up. It hurts to be honest.

I gave him some tips on dating, how to approach women in a bar, how to approach women on a dating site, how to long to hold eye contact and when to break away, how to make idle chit chat etc.

In fact, I spent hours on these topics. He listened with tremendous interest.

I told him these tips will allow him to approach and perhaps gain interest and perhaps even secure a date. But the rest would be up to him to maintain the interest and keep the girl.

Awes, again I am indebted to your honesty. He actually said maybe if I don't like her she would be good practice anyway. I heard your post echoing in my head.

I was blunt. I said no, you must not do that. I said this girl has feelings and emotions. It would not be fair to toy with her. In the end, he agreed he would not do that and would only pursue a girl if he had real interest.

Awes, I think you were right in so many ways...

It is up to me now to find a way to move past him. I told him I would be the best friend he wants me to be. So I will spend some time helping him develop a dating profile. I'll coach him until he gets to a place where he feels comfortable with the dating situation.

Anyway, thank you all. This fairy tale didn't have a happy ending but you all warned me and I really appreciate it.

Geeky