Constant rejection from women is making me suicidal

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AsteroidNap
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26 Jul 2011, 1:14 pm

anna-banana wrote:
SadAspy wrote:
NO WOMEN SHOULD BE POSTING IN THIS THREAD!

YOU ARE ALL LYING, COLD-HEARTED, MANIPULATIVE b*****s AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE ALONE!


this is why you're alone. why do you even bother with this thread?


Not to defend his attitude, but my outlook is decidedly the opposite of his: Women are warm, quirky, interesting, fun, and delightfully complex. That attitude hasn't made a difference regarding my loneliness. But this isn't about me.

The OP needs to stop placing his happiness in the hands of others. I know that sounds easier said than done...but his happiness and joy needs to have a solid foundation outside of any personal relationships. I'd suggest an artistic pursuit, but I don't know the OP.



anna-banana
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26 Jul 2011, 1:20 pm

SadAspy wrote:

anna-banana wrote:
this is why you're alone.


Nice try, but wrong. I only started acting this way after multiple rejections....I used to be a nice guy, but women corrupted me.


"a nice guy" is quite meaningless tbh. I don't know what you mean by that so I won't judge. but the fact that you let other people corrupt you says something about the stability of your character.


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mv
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26 Jul 2011, 1:22 pm

AsteroidNap wrote:
The OP needs to stop placing his happiness in the hands of others. I know that sounds easier said than done...but his happiness and joy needs to have a solid foundation outside of any personal relationships. I'd suggest an artistic pursuit, but I don't know the OP.


This. Well said. I'd like to add that anytime you seek to validate yourself only through the eyes of others, you're in for a miserable existence. I learned that the hard way.

Oh, and I'm female. You can excoriate me all you want, but you cannot silence me. :wink:



Erisad
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26 Jul 2011, 1:22 pm

SadAspy wrote:
Erisad wrote:
I had someone because I worked for it. Lost weight, joined an online dating site and made connections with people. It's not easy but it is possible. :)


<Yawn> I've done all these things too....

anna-banana wrote:
this is why you're alone.


Nice try, but wrong. I only started acting this way after multiple rejections....I used to be a nice guy, but women corrupted me.


Well, women definitely can sense this attitude and it isn't helping you. I know it's easy to blame others for one's own shortcomings but you need to take responsibility for yourself and start working on yourself. Find a hobby, focus on making friends and don't put so much effort into just finding a girl. :)



Erisad
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26 Jul 2011, 1:23 pm

AsteroidNap wrote:
The OP needs to stop placing his happiness in the hands of others. I know that sounds easier said than done...but his happiness and joy needs to have a solid foundation outside of any personal relationships. I'd suggest an artistic pursuit, but I don't know the OP.


+50

It's true. :)



lilypadfad
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26 Jul 2011, 1:55 pm

The beta is strong in this one.



Chronos
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26 Jul 2011, 1:56 pm

SadAspy wrote:
NO WOMEN SHOULD BE POSTING IN THIS THREAD!

YOU ARE ALL LYING, COLD-HEARTED, MANIPULATIVE b*****s AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE ALONE!


Except the women who are alone. I really think you need some professional counseling. If you harbor such sentiments against women then you probably will never get a date because you will ultimately be dictated by these negative emotions and subconsciously push women away.

What if a girl on here had developed an interest in you or someone offline developed an interest in you and stumbled upon this post and knew it was you who wrote it? Do you think anyone would want to date someone who had such hostile views about them? No. It would scare them and they wouldn't want to date them.



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26 Jul 2011, 2:02 pm

I don't know what a "nice guy" is defined as.
I also know your comment about women hurt my feelings. :(
I've never had a boyfriend. I've initiated towards guys twice. One even had Asperger's, and they both rejected me.

Maybe your problem lies not only in your attitude, but perhaps the location you look for women at.
I also think a big problem might be that you are simply looking for "a woman", and not the woman for you. You need to find an individual. There are a lot of empty women out there who want to use you for money, and attention, just like there are a lot of men out there who want to use women for sex, and to show off.

Suicide is illogical. Don't commit suicide.



Spazzergasm
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26 Jul 2011, 2:03 pm

Chronos wrote:
What if a girl on here had developed an interest in you or someone offline developed an interest in you and stumbled upon this post and knew it was you who wrote it? Do you think anyone would want to date someone who had such hostile views about them? No. It would scare them and they wouldn't want to date them.


This too.



Chronos
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26 Jul 2011, 2:10 pm

SadAspy wrote:
Erisad wrote:
I had someone because I worked for it. Lost weight, joined an online dating site and made connections with people. It's not easy but it is possible. :)


<Yawn> I've done all these things too....

anna-banana wrote:
this is why you're alone.


Nice try, but wrong. I only started acting this way after multiple rejections....I used to be a nice guy, but women corrupted me.


Nice is a commodity. It's better to have a share in that commodity than not, but there are a lot of nice guys...in fact most guys are nice. Being nice just means that your character is not of a repulsive nature. It does not mean someone will be attracted to you romantically.

I'm a nice woman. In fact I'm much nicer than most women. I don't play games and I'm not shallow, and I'm understanding of faults. Yet I've been rejected by every single man I've approached. I don't go on tirades against all men because it's illogical and I understand how attraction works...or at least how it doesn't work, and I understand that relationships are about the dynamics between two individuals.

You seem to think relationships are about contract bartering, and you seem to think that contract says if you act in x way, y girl has an obligation to fall in love with you.

That is completely wrong.

I'm willing to bet you feel that you are being lied to by girls who indicate that they like you, because either they are actually just trying to be civil and you are mistaking it for romantic interest, or maybe they did like you and after they got to know you they decided you weren't their type. This is to be expected in relationships and dating and happens frequently to everyone when they are trying to date; men and women both.



Chronos
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26 Jul 2011, 2:17 pm

SadAspy wrote:
YOU'RE SINGLE BY CHOICE....NOT FORCED INTO IT LIKE WE ARE!


Healthy relationships are not about just being with someone. They are about being with a special someone. Someone who evokes positive emotions in you that most others can't, and someone who equally enjoys being with you.

If you just want a relationship with ANY woman because you need to prove to yourself that you are not defective in some way then that's a pretty low sense of self worth and any relationship you do get will ultimately fail because people need to be mutually compatible in a relationship and be attracted to each other. When they just hook up for the sake of being with someone, the ultimately can't bare with the incompatibilities.



Jonsi
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26 Jul 2011, 3:40 pm

SadAspy wrote:
YOU'RE SINGLE BY CHOICE....NOT FORCED INTO IT LIKE WE ARE!
I choose to be single and I'm an aspie male. Am I simply a paradox?

That attitude is why you are single. Aspie women have it just as hard, if not harder, as aspie males.

And if women have "corrupted" you then may I suggest becoming gay/asexual?



TheygoMew
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26 Jul 2011, 4:19 pm

SadAspy wrote:
YOU'RE SINGLE BY CHOICE....NOT FORCED INTO IT LIKE WE ARE!


...People that talk like this usually refuse to figure out what is going on with themselves on the inside and resort to just blaming everyone else ESPECIALLY women. I wouldn't date your ass either.



blueroses
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26 Jul 2011, 4:20 pm

SadAspy wrote:
NO WOMEN SHOULD BE POSTING IN THIS THREAD!

YOU ARE ALL LYING, COLD-HEARTED, MANIPULATIVE b*****s AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE ALONE!


Not the first post like this and, unfortunately, probably not the last. Personally, I've had plenty of rejections and experience being alone, so I do understand it's hard. I realize anyone who posts comments like this is in a bad place and a world of hurt, but it's still hard not to be offended when people who don't understand your experiences try to minimize or distort them.

I can't help but wonder if attitudes like this towards women with AS are just stemming from 'Theory of Mind' issues and limited opportunities for actually getting to know women with Asperger's and what we go through. There are some excellent books out there by and for women with Asperger's that would be excellent reads for men who need/want to understand us better. Aspergirls by Rudy Simone comes to mind. Silly title, but very informative for anyone needing perspective and I'd highly recommend it, both for women with AS and anyone who'd like to date one of us.



MissConstrue
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26 Jul 2011, 4:29 pm

Well I was going to say I know how that feels until I saw those quotes in bold. No wonder you're single. This sexist crap in this particular forum gets tiresome. I've been rejected many times....oh wait I'm girl so I wouldn't know.


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SadAspy
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26 Jul 2011, 4:50 pm

Do you ladies think you're actually hurting me by saying "No wonder you're single. You have a bad attitude. I would never date you"? Nice try, but you can't hurt me anymore than I already have been. Oh no...you're not going to date me, as if any of you would've before I went crazy.

Oh yeah, that's right, I was born with a negative attitude according to you experts. It's completely impossible that I developed one after being used and abused emotionally.