Romantic interest preferences

Post Reply New Topic

Amen to that. I could not agree more. And yay for world domination plans! I mean, I am Kira after all. Oh, and by the way, Zuko rocks.

Anyway, as for me, the poster, I checked off "I don't know". I've had really bad experiences with NTs. I would theoretically enjoy a relationship with a fellow Aspie, if we agreed on interests, politics, and ethics. But, the only Aspie girls I've meet in RL are lesbians, so I have no way of verifying my own preferences in this regard.

Those things are really important to me as well, the bedrock of my "list", so to speak-
it doesn't seem like NT's are usually so...checklist-y as far as beliefs of potential partners go, to the same degree.

Could just be me.

I mostly look for someone who tries to understand and support me. That could be an NT or an Aspie. The neurological wiring is, in my opinion, irrelevant. It's other characteristics which are more important.

As I posted in the thread "I want an Aspie girlfriend"
I'm an Aspie guy who found an Aspie girl here on WP & we are a lot more compatible & get along a lot more smoothly than me & my NT ex 8years ago did so going by my limited experience I believe that Aspies are better for each other than Aspies & NTs are.
But I would also like to add here that I had spent years trying to find someone with no luck except bad. I think most all the women I was meeting online & offline were NTs & some of em were very indirect with me & into that playing hard-to-get cr@p that really confuses the hell out of me. Megz is a lot more direct, straightforward & honest with me than any other girl I've known & she appreciates that in me instead of being offended like lots of NT woman would be

well, having zilch experience i cant really say, but i think i'd prefer an NT, to help me navigate the world better.
sure, being weird together sounds nice, but then you both have the same problems with society, and i would prefer a guide on such matters.
of course, this doesn't mean i dont want an aspie girl; actually, there are 3 i'd consider dating at the moment (damn me being too shy to even try), one is very outgoing NT, one is more quiet and introverted NT and one i heavily suspect AS.

I've dated one other aspie (actually, I don't know for certain that he was, and I didn't know how to bring it up in order to find out for sure). It didn't really work out very well. He was a nice man, but we clashed in some fundamental areas that I think were aspie-related.

I know I should be careful about drawing conclusions from a sample size of exactly one, but that experience made me wary. I now think that the best relationships come when two people are more like interlocking jigsaw pieces, instead of both of them being the same piece.

That's why things are so great with me & Megz. Our strengths & weaknesses really balance each other out & we are basically on the same level but in different ways. I haven't noticed any clashing due to our Aspie issues. However I'm kinda the opposite of the stereotypical Aspie guy when I'm in a relationship thou so that may have something to do with it

That's wonderful, Nick

You're very fortunate to have found each other

I don't mind either way. Brain type doesn't phase me.

Though to be quite honest, I think I subconsciously lean more towards NTs. I've never been in a relationship with someone who has AS.

I am NT. My husband is Aspie. Thank God he is not hostile to NTs. Probably that is because he found out about his Aspiness 3 years ago, and it has not represented a big change for him. He had some failed relationships with NTs before me, but as far as I know both parts were responsible for the breakup. We've been 16 years together, and the only other Aspie person we both know is our 11 years-old daughter. My daughter says when she grows up she would like to marry an Aspie, but I do not know if she will have the chance to meet one.

I am starting to think another Aspie would be more understanding of my unique qualities, as well as my 2 aspie-kids. I would possibly like to have more children in the future, yet I've heard many NT (even family members) not wanting to birth any more autistic children. People actually changing their family planning based on this kind of blows my mind. I realize even if I met someone who could get over the fact that I have 4 kids, our unique lifestlye and come to love them... would he want to have children with me? Or would he think my genes are tainted and not want to roll the dice on getting another aspie? Seems like if a man is comfortable with himself as an aspie, maybe he wouldn't be scared off by the challenges raising AS kids may bring. For me, it isn't so hard most of the time to parent my aspies b/c they think a lot like me and vice versa.

So, all in all, I've never met an aspie-man and I don't know if I'd just be making my chances at ever finding love even smaller to search for that in particular. Being a single Mom and all, I've already kind of got slim pickins! If an NT man could love me and my children and any possible future children, I wouldn't turn him away just for his brain wiring. We don't get to pick our wiring, we just choose how to best handle what we are given. I think I'm aspie-curious, but have no experience to base an actual choice here. So I guess either one.

I said it doesn't matter, but even the NTs I've dated (including my husband) are not exactly "normal NTs"...husband has ADHD and is a fellow geek. I tend to be attracted to odd people anyway, regardless of whether they're on the spectrum.

~Kate

I am one of those NT people who changed her family planning based on the possibility of having another Aspie child. I took that decision based on two facts: 1) We simply cannot afford having another Autistic child. Our child attends therapy two times a week. We spend more in therapy than in school, and she attends a private school. 2) I do not feel physically or psychologically fit to raise another autistic child alone. I am married, but my Aspie husband helps very little at home, and almost nothing when it comes to our child. We used to have very big fights about it, but I have come to the point of accepting this reality and stopped fighting. I am a working woman. I cannot afford staying at home, so one Aspie child and one Aspie husband is all I can handle.

This.

I have never dated another Aspie, but it is hard to believe that it could be any worse. Not that I would turn down an understanding NT, but I would love to date an Aspie.

Either is fine, but either could both be awful. Like I said, its more about personality.