I think I am falling for one of my social workers

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blueroses
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25 Aug 2011, 1:04 pm

I've been on the other side of the fence on this one. (I work in social services and have had clients develop crushes). I was trying to be compassionate in a professional way, but it got misinterpreted.

I think that when you get to know people well and develop a certain level of trust, that can create a sense of intimacy, which will make things like that bound to happen from time-to-time. So, I wouldn't beat yourself up over having these feelings, but I hope that, in time, you can let them go.

If your Social Worker is a good one, I'm sure she wants you to receive the best possible care and support, but it might be more difficult for her to provide this if she is placed in an awkward position.



TeaEarlGreyHot
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25 Aug 2011, 1:35 pm

Frieslander wrote:
Saw her again today. It's an ACT team, and I've really been struggling lately. She asked whether I want to go for a walk today. Hmmm.


This isn't an uncommon thing for social workers to do from my experience. Often times, they'll find ways of getting you to talk and lots of people are more open to talking while on a walk.


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Tequila
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25 Aug 2011, 2:00 pm

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
Frieslander wrote:
Saw her again today. It's an ACT team, and I've really been struggling lately. She asked whether I want to go for a walk today. Hmmm.


This isn't an uncommon thing for social workers to do from my experience. Often times, they'll find ways of getting you to talk and lots of people are more open to talking while on a walk.


Or it could be that this woman actually desires sex with her charges? It wouldn't be the first nor the last time this has happened.



spongy
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25 Aug 2011, 2:05 pm

Tequila wrote:
TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
Frieslander wrote:
Saw her again today. It's an ACT team, and I've really been struggling lately. She asked whether I want to go for a walk today. Hmmm.


This isn't an uncommon thing for social workers to do from my experience. Often times, they'll find ways of getting you to talk and lots of people are more open to talking while on a walk.


Or it could be that this woman actually desires sex with her charges? It wouldn't be the first nor the last time this has happened.

It could be that but its high unlikely and as TEGH mentioned people are more relaxed during walks and it isnt uncommon that workers try to do their talks on a new enviroment to try new things and see how the other person adapts to the new enviroment etc.


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TeaEarlGreyHot
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25 Aug 2011, 2:11 pm

spongy wrote:
Tequila wrote:
TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
Frieslander wrote:
Saw her again today. It's an ACT team, and I've really been struggling lately. She asked whether I want to go for a walk today. Hmmm.


This isn't an uncommon thing for social workers to do from my experience. Often times, they'll find ways of getting you to talk and lots of people are more open to talking while on a walk.


Or it could be that this woman actually desires sex with her charges? It wouldn't be the first nor the last time this has happened.

It could be that but its high unlikely and as TEGH mentioned people are more relaxed during walks and it isnt uncommon that workers try to do their talks on a new enviroment to try new things and see how the other person adapts to the new enviroment etc.


Exactly.

Tequila, of course she could want something unprofessional from him but it's highly unlikely.


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Tequila
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25 Aug 2011, 3:27 pm

It depends but it can and does happen. It depends on the kind of woman she is.



TeaEarlGreyHot
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25 Aug 2011, 3:36 pm

Tequila wrote:
It depends but it can and does happen. It depends on the kind of woman she is.


True, but statistically speaking it's far more likely she's trying to get him to open up so she can help him in a professional manner.


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Frieslander
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25 Aug 2011, 3:44 pm

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
Frieslander wrote:
Saw her again today. It's an ACT team, and I've really been struggling lately. She asked whether I want to go for a walk today. Hmmm.


This isn't an uncommon thing for social workers to do from my experience. Often times, they'll find ways of getting you to talk and lots of people are more open to talking while on a walk.


Yeah, I thought of that later on. When I lived at an AFC for about two months, I once saw social worker walk with one of the residents. Of course, in that case, they probably wanted to get away from the rest of the residents.

Of course, I see walking as a very personal thing to do with someone.



Frieslander
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25 Aug 2011, 3:47 pm

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
spongy wrote:
Tequila wrote:
TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
Frieslander wrote:
Saw her again today. It's an ACT team, and I've really been struggling lately. She asked whether I want to go for a walk today. Hmmm.


This isn't an uncommon thing for social workers to do from my experience. Often times, they'll find ways of getting you to talk and lots of people are more open to talking while on a walk.


Or it could be that this woman actually desires sex with her charges? It wouldn't be the first nor the last time this has happened.

It could be that but its high unlikely and as TEGH mentioned people are more relaxed during walks and it isnt uncommon that workers try to do their talks on a new enviroment to try new things and see how the other person adapts to the new enviroment etc.


Exactly.

Tequila, of course she could want something unprofessional from him but it's highly unlikely.


Yeah, I don't think she really wants anything.



AngelKnight
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25 Aug 2011, 5:33 pm

Frieslander wrote:
Darn it, why can't I find someone just like her?


Dunno guy. If I find the answer for that question for yourself I'll pass it along so we'll both know. As others have advised, keep your eyes open, just not on her, not in that way.



Frieslander
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24 Mar 2012, 11:29 am

I'm still having feelings about her.

I'm not trying to encourage them--they're just there.

I remembered that she asked me when my birthday was just last week when I did have my birthday. I had a couple reasons to call her, and I said that I remembered that she asked me when my birthday was, and I said it was that day I was calling her (this was a message to her voice mail).

She called back and left a message on my machine. Talked the the one topic (about help program meant for helping finding a job) and said she didn't know why she asked me when my birthday was, "I was probably just trying to make conversation", and "had no ulterior motives".

I felt uncomfortable then, and told her that I felt bad about implying there might be ulterior motives. She said that she was just joking. I still am really confused about her. :? I almost feel that she is putting out mixed signals. When I am together with her... I almost feel I could talk with her forever, in a good but not-so-professional way.



Brianruns10
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24 Mar 2012, 11:46 am

Get her out of your mind, avoid her, do what it takes. Married people, heck, people in relationships are off limits until that status changes and they become single again. That's how I see it.

Because people who steal away someone from another are the lowest kinds of scum. I should know, I've had people I care about stolen away from me.

You don't want to be that kind of low scum whose personal happiness hinges on making someone else desperately unhappy. That is borderline evil.



Frieslander
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24 Mar 2012, 11:47 am

I'm never going to ask her to divorce her husband or anything.



Brianruns10
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24 Mar 2012, 12:39 pm

Have you considered it might be a case of transference? That's awfully common. Hell, I had a crush on my therapist, and she was married and pregnant at the time. And because I was aware of such a phenomenon going in, I was prepared for it, and was better able to hold those feelings at bay, and they eventually subsided.