Joker
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Joined: 19 Mar 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,593
Location: North Carolina The Tar Heel State :)
11 Sep 2011, 3:01 am
I am a good actor so socializing is pretty easy plus the only social ciricles im in are with my friends who drink and do drugs an the friends I have at church talk about a weird combination 
swbluto
Veteran
Joined: 26 Feb 2011
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,899
Location: In the Andes, counting the stars and wondering if one of them is home to another civilization
07 Oct 2011, 9:09 pm
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I don't think it works.
I think the real problem of guys here consists of two parts:
This: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt173196.html
and the following which is the main topic here:
The lack of social life and social circles.
99% of couples I personally know have met in social events and mostly through social circles, usually through friends but in many times even coworkers and colleagues, the other ~1% are by mere luck.
This is the most common pre-mating ecosystem among the normal human beings, but aspies are like the rest of the human beings, their lack of social skills and their lack of interest in social life lead to almost non-existent social life and a very poor outdoor life. That's why you notice many aspie guys on this site go for artificial dating ecosystems and unnatural ways : Online dating, speed dating, sugar daddy dating, mail brides dating, geek to geek dating, suckme-suckyou dating (don't ask..), How to become an Alpha, Alphahood, Alpha-dick,, funny and cocky, PUA ways, PUA books, cat pheromones, love charms, voodoo magic ....etc
But seriously, none of those have proofs of success more than 1% to 3% . I can bet that 99% of positive testimonies and success stories out there are just marketing lies, otherwise everyone would use them.
As for the guys who are just seeking for flings or one-night stands in bars:
I think lilypad's famous curves are very true only in the fling/night-stands scenarios. Yes, it is in such scenarios where humans turn to apes and influenced by the most basic animal instincts. The whole Alpha-Beta-Omega theories are true and only true in those scenarios.
Let's face it, It's not everyone. By years of observation I can guarantee that the guys who get success in those don't exceed the 10%, and they are either the top of the top physically hot guys (the tall, very handsome, with swimmer body, six packs and the like....) or the naturally very high socially skillful smooth talkers (yet he should be at least not hideous).... or the millionaires.
The second type is almost impossible for aspie guy to attain , and if you're not one of the other two then forget about it. Also forget about the sex buddies thing because it's the same.
So the only solution would be enhancing or at least having a regular social life and regular amount of social circles, yet this alone is a hard sh***y journey, and not easier than dating itself at all.
Our extensive posting on WP here is just a proof that our social life is pretty poor, no?
I think the real problem of guys here consists of two parts:
This: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt173196.html
and the following which is the main topic here:
The lack of social life and social circles.
99% of couples I personally know have met in social events and mostly through social circles, usually through friends but in many times even coworkers and colleagues, the other ~1% are by mere luck.
This is the most common pre-mating ecosystem among the normal human beings, but aspies are like the rest of the human beings, their lack of social skills and their lack of interest in social life lead to almost non-existent social life and a very poor outdoor life. That's why you notice many aspie guys on this site go for artificial dating ecosystems and unnatural ways : Online dating, speed dating, sugar daddy dating, mail brides dating, geek to geek dating, suckme-suckyou dating (don't ask..), How to become an Alpha, Alphahood, Alpha-dick,, funny and cocky, PUA ways, PUA books, cat pheromones, love charms, voodoo magic ....etc
But seriously, none of those have proofs of success more than 1% to 3% . I can bet that 99% of positive testimonies and success stories out there are just marketing lies, otherwise everyone would use them.
As for the guys who are just seeking for flings or one-night stands in bars:
I think lilypad's famous curves are very true only in the fling/night-stands scenarios. Yes, it is in such scenarios where humans turn to apes and influenced by the most basic animal instincts. The whole Alpha-Beta-Omega theories are true and only true in those scenarios.
Let's face it, It's not everyone. By years of observation I can guarantee that the guys who get success in those don't exceed the 10%, and they are either the top of the top physically hot guys (the tall, very handsome, with swimmer body, six packs and the like....) or the naturally very high socially skillful smooth talkers (yet he should be at least not hideous).... or the millionaires.
The second type is almost impossible for aspie guy to attain , and if you're not one of the other two then forget about it. Also forget about the sex buddies thing because it's the same.
So the only solution would be enhancing or at least having a regular social life and regular amount of social circles, yet this alone is a hard sh***y journey, and not easier than dating itself at all.
Our extensive posting on WP here is just a proof that our social life is pretty poor, no?
You're in lebanon... how does that contrast to dating and relationship trends in, say, America?
07 Oct 2011, 11:38 pm
swbluto
Veteran
Joined: 26 Feb 2011
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,899
Location: In the Andes, counting the stars and wondering if one of them is home to another civilization
07 Oct 2011, 11:51 pm
lightening020 wrote:
swbluto wrote:
You're in lebanon... how does that contrast to dating and relationship trends in, say, America?
I have always wondered what the 'atmosphere' is like in other countries. What if I had been born into a different country with a different culture like a Nordic or east or south Asian country. Would my life be any different?
I mean lets face it. Certain traits are more successful wherever you go. Introversion will get you nowhere in America at all. America is all about "Networking" yourself and being super social overall, but very clique-ish I think....at least in California. It is all about being "loud and assertive and agressive" The jock type with social skills basically have 1st pick at dating.
Now homosexuality is still frowned upon but is still accepted as a way of life in America. In Iran? Not so much.[/quote]
I get the feeling America tends to be less cliquish than Lebanon, and due to the lessened "social cohesivity" in America (A lot of people are isolated from each other in American culture, owing to the car culture and most people living in their own house.), I'd imagine that a greater percentage of relationships arise outside of established "social circles". I mean, I recall many answers to the question "How did you meet my mother?" I've heard in films and the answer my parents would give, and it doesn't seem to be so strictly monopolized by "social circles" in America. I could be wrong, but it seems like America is probably a bit looser and less tight-knit as far as social structure goes then what it seems like it is in Lebanon. It seems fairly common in America, anyways, to introduce yourself to a person who seems attractive and try to "pick them up", regardless if they're in your social circle.
Now, yes, you'll still need to join organizations or go to the grocery store, at least, to meet people.
08 Oct 2011, 4:46 am
