Grow content with age ,without love

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I am glad you have found contentment...After dating non stop from 16-30...I took a self imposed 8 year break and actually got to know "myself"...my likes and dislikes....spent alot of time doing things I had "put off" because of relationships.When I eventually "stumbled" into a relationship I knew who I was enough to demand to be let be myself.I still have to make some small sacrifices(interrupted occasionally while in depths of my obsessions)but am happier then in any previous relationships .I always assumed I would end up...."the crazy cat lady"....sort of appeals to me...lol...Who knows what the future holds....but I cant imagine ever returning to the half life I once lived in bad relationships.

I am quite independent. If it wasn’t for this need for love, I would be very happy. There is very little point trying to figure out logically why I need someone.

It is like thousands of years of evolution has made me dependent one someone in order to be happy. I believe that if you could show me a thousand videos about why it is bad to be in a relationship, none of them would work or if they did convince me that I am better by myself, I would still be depressed.

I don’t need a woman to be my councillor, doctor, bank, cleaner and house maintainer etc, I don’t even need someone to prevent myself from being bored. I just want her to be there sometimes, so I can live my life without having this shadow of loneliness over me.

Even though I am looking for someone, I am trying to find a way a to be content by myself. To do this requires something much, much more then common sense. It requires something that can trick the million years of programming that Mother Nature has given me.

The funny thing about depression is that it's a delusional state.

You believe that you are the only one who cannot help yourself.

You brood about the reasons you feel down.

You think the only cure is something you can't have.

The truth is, you are the only one who can help yourself. You are the only one who can choose to stop worrying. The depression is want's making you lonely.

The worse part is that no of the above will seem valid until you're not experiencing depression.

This doesn't mean that you're on your own. I just saying that you have to actively participate in your recover.

There isn't a magic pill to make the pain go away. Just pills that numb your emotions.

Depression is an addiction. To break it, you have to convince yourself that you want to feel good about who you are.

Right on point, especially with the last part - no one can make you whole but you. That and with 2 half people, I totally understand that - I think it takes two whole people to really have proper empathy and be fair to eachother through the years (having parents who are close to that I kinda see how its done and TBA I'll hold out untill I can find that - if its never its never). I know Aspie_Chav's pain and all though but for me that hit its peaks more when I was under 24 or 25 and when the realization hit me that I may be solo from here on out it kinda blew up with a bang and went away for the most part (then again I think seeing my friends have to deal with the kind of drama they had and seeing exactly how highly they often feel about their own relationships helped a bit as well).

[quote="eet_1024"]
You believe that you are the only one who cannot help yourself.
[quote]

Sometime I feel that I am the only one who could come up with an answer to this problem using logic and a small understanding of evolution. Nobody else is using logic; I just get commonsense ideas added together.

This what I have posted in the main forum yesterday about what I think loneliness is.
http://www.wrongplanet.net/asperger.htm ... ic&t=17620

Even though I understand the problem, I haven’t come up with a way to fix this problem.

I replied in the other thread.

What are the commonsense ideas others have provided?