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The real answer to who has it harder.

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Homer_Bob
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11 Sep 2011, 7:37 pm

I will name two people on the spectrum with opposites lives. One is a person who has had absolutely no girlfriends and is lonely as hell but on the other hand he doesn't have to go through the pain and suffering of being in sucky relationships. No one has ever hurt him. Instead he lives his life wondering what could be and because he has no confidence, he never asks anyone out. On the other hand, the girl on the spectrum has had many boyfriends but because they all approach her and she is very naive and desperate, she accepts almost any offer and is often used and ends up in several bad short term relationships. Who has it harder? It depends what you consider worse. Having nothing or experiencing a lot of something that can suck.


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auntblabby
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11 Sep 2011, 7:45 pm

Homer_Bob wrote:
I will name two people on the spectrum with opposites lives. One is a person who has had absolutely no girlfriends and is lonely as hell but on the other hand he doesn't have to go through the pain and suffering of being in sucky relationships. No one has ever hurt him. Instead he lives his life wondering what could be and because he has no confidence, he never asks anyone out. On the other hand, the girl on the spectrum has had many boyfriends but because they all approach her and she is very naive and desperate, she accepts almost any offer and is often used and ends up in several bad short term relationships. Who has it harder? It depends what you consider worse. Having nothing or experiencing a lot of something that can suck.


if only the "naive and desperate" lady would deign to approach the lonely "no confidence" man, then they might be able to solve some of each other's problems. but no chance of anything like that ever happening in this world.



Zinnel
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11 Sep 2011, 8:54 pm

auntblabby wrote:
Homer_Bob wrote:
I will name two people on the spectrum with opposites lives. One is a person who has had absolutely no girlfriends and is lonely as hell but on the other hand he doesn't have to go through the pain and suffering of being in sucky relationships. No one has ever hurt him. Instead he lives his life wondering what could be and because he has no confidence, he never asks anyone out. On the other hand, the girl on the spectrum has had many boyfriends but because they all approach her and she is very naive and desperate, she accepts almost any offer and is often used and ends up in several bad short term relationships. Who has it harder? It depends what you consider worse. Having nothing or experiencing a lot of something that can suck.


if only the "naive and desperate" lady would deign to approach the lonely "no confidence" man, then they might be able to solve some of each other's problems. but no chance of anything like that ever happening in this world.


HA!! ! i love it

i hav seen this happen more than once, it doesnt work mostly cuz they start to compete on whos the worst off, and whos the worst at relationships



Chronos
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11 Sep 2011, 9:37 pm

Homer_Bob wrote:
I will name two people on the spectrum with opposites lives. One is a person who has had absolutely no girlfriends and is lonely as hell but on the other hand he doesn't have to go through the pain and suffering of being in sucky relationships. No one has ever hurt him. Instead he lives his life wondering what could be and because he has no confidence, he never asks anyone out. On the other hand, the girl on the spectrum has had many boyfriends but because they all approach her and she is very naive and desperate, she accepts almost any offer and is often used and ends up in several bad short term relationships. Who has it harder? It depends what you consider worse. Having nothing or experiencing a lot of something that can suck.


I've not had many boyfriends and I might be the exception amongst NT women but I doubt I'm the exception amongst women with AS, HFA, and PDD-NOS. And I know plenty of guys on the spectrum with girlfriends.



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11 Sep 2011, 11:00 pm

According to social darwinism the people that have it harder are the ones who are weak but having autism/asperger syndrome doesnt make you week it gives you many advantages that NTs do not have



auntblabby
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12 Sep 2011, 1:25 am

Chronos wrote:
I know plenty of guys on the spectrum with girlfriends.


surely the higher-functioning ones who also incidently have no money problems or work problems. it seems to me these types might as well just pass for NT, albeit quirky NT.



Joker
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12 Sep 2011, 1:33 am

Having autism/asperger syndrome doesnt keep some one from having a girlfriend/boyfriend



auntblabby
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12 Sep 2011, 1:35 am

Joker wrote:
Having autism/asperger syndrome doesnt keep some one from having a girlfriend/boyfriend


obviously the higher-functioning ones who could pass for NT, who have no major life issues.



Joker
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12 Sep 2011, 2:21 am

auntblabby wrote:
Joker wrote:
Having autism/asperger syndrome doesnt keep some one from having a girlfriend/boyfriend


obviously the higher-functioning ones who could pass for NT, who have no major life issues.


Im sure everyone faces major life issues even if their not NT or if they dont have autism/asperger sydrome



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12 Sep 2011, 2:24 am

auntblabby wrote:
Joker wrote:
Having autism/asperger syndrome doesnt keep some one from having a girlfriend/boyfriend


obviously the higher-functioning ones who could pass for NT, who have no major life issues.


eh most of my NT Friends dont hav boyfriends or girlfriends

if anything anything their lucky enough to hav a one night stand(and my friends cover pretty much all sectors of life, from army sports dude, to computeress queen of the geeks, poor, rich, yada yada....)

i think its good to remember that often when people do not hav something, they tend to start seeing it where ever they look except in there own lives



auntblabby
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12 Sep 2011, 2:28 am

Joker wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Joker wrote:
Having autism/asperger syndrome doesnt keep some one from having a girlfriend/boyfriend


obviously the higher-functioning ones who could pass for NT, who have no major life issues.


Im sure everyone faces major life issues even if their not NT or if they dont have autism/asperger sydrome


the people on WP who brag about how easily they get laid, and about their ease at making money, seem to me to either be lacking major life issues or are just not being open about having them..



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12 Sep 2011, 2:33 am

auntblabby wrote:
Joker wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Joker wrote:
Having autism/asperger syndrome doesnt keep some one from having a girlfriend/boyfriend


obviously the higher-functioning ones who could pass for NT, who have no major life issues.


Im sure everyone faces major life issues even if their not NT or if they dont have autism/asperger sydrome


the people on WP who brag about how easily they get laid, and about their ease at making money, seem to me to either be lacking major life issues or are just not being open about having them..


True true I will give you that one but they could just be zealous with honesty but more then likely they will not be open about them or have major life issues like a serious addiction I myself a a few addctions that I would rather not talk about but im not afriad to talk about them if I am in the right mood



auntblabby
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12 Sep 2011, 2:37 am

part of the proper at-one-ment of being a supportive member/participant of a support forum/thread such as this one, is to lay one's cards out on the table, to let others know that at least they are not alone in their sufferings.



Joker
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12 Sep 2011, 2:42 am

auntblabby wrote:
part of the proper at-one-ment of being a supportive member/participant of a support forum/thread such as this one, is to lay one's cards out on the table, to let others know that at least they are not alone in their sufferings.


Pride gets in the way for me to do that at times im afriad still trying to work on that



auntblabby
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12 Sep 2011, 2:50 am

pride [often] cometh before the fall. maybe i should consider myself karmically fortunate that i've hardly had anything to be prideful about. but then i'd run afoul of the old eastern wisdom which says "when one thinks one is doing well, one has stopped thinking."



Chronos
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12 Sep 2011, 2:54 am

auntblabby wrote:
Chronos wrote:
I know plenty of guys on the spectrum with girlfriends.


surely the higher-functioning ones who also incidently have no money problems or work problems. it seems to me these types might as well just pass for NT, albeit quirky NT.


Honestly it has nothing to do with money, work, or whether they are "high functioning" whatever that is, or not.

It's erroneous to assume that just because someone is financially stable and can hold down a good job, that they do well socially, or romantically, or that someone who isn't financially stable and has difficulty holding down a job doesn't do well socially or financially.