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What does it take to get confidence?

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Nexus
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18 Sep 2011, 10:16 pm

Balls of steel. 8)


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Grisha
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18 Sep 2011, 10:27 pm

I sometimes wonder if self-confidence is simply the absence of low self-esteem. The only times I have ever really felt "confident" was when I was in a (good) relationship, and even then it was simply due to the fact that I didn't loathe myself as much anymore.



MR20
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18 Sep 2011, 10:46 pm

I'll never have confidence.

I hate myself so much. I'm ugly, slow, uneducated, poor, boring, uninteresting, and annoying. I'm a 25 year old hermit that does nothing but play video games and watch porn and anime all day. I don't have any friends and I've never dated.

Where can I get confidence from? I'm not good at anything useful or impressive. Who would want to be me? I'm pathetic.



nick007
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18 Sep 2011, 10:55 pm

I find I get more confident when I do things I can succeed at instead of failing at doing things I'm bad at. My suggestion is to try focusing more on doing things you are good at


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1000Knives
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19 Sep 2011, 12:16 am

MR20 wrote:
I'll never have confidence.

I hate myself so much. I'm ugly, slow, uneducated, poor, boring, uninteresting, and annoying. I'm a 25 year old hermit that does nothing but play video games and watch porn and anime all day. I don't have any friends and I've never dated.

Where can I get confidence from? I'm not good at anything useful or impressive. Who would want to be me? I'm pathetic.


[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vaYlfxR6qRI[/youtube]

That's how!

Really though, for me, it actually sorta started by me wanting a lot of traits I admired in anime characters. It got to a point where I hated myself so much, I had to change.

Also, you can type reasonably well and you're not typing liek dis y0. That means you might be somewhat intelligent or at the very least seem that way.

(If you want, PM me and we could talk if you really want)



The_Face_of_Boo
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19 Sep 2011, 12:41 am

simon_says wrote:
The average teenager starts with very low confidence with the opposite sex. They muddle through anyway. Their initial efforts are sustained with a kind of determination mixed with bravado. Call it whatever you like. It works for a lot of people as a bridge to get the greater confidence that comes with experience.

It's the same for delayed adults. You need the will to gain experience without having confidence. The rest will follow eventually.


In other term, becoming experienced and competent at dating, like everything else in life.

I am against the "fake it till you make it" school of thought, this can't end up well.

Confident != conceit.