Will You Marry Me?

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CockneyRebel
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07 Oct 2011, 6:25 am

Oh, damn! You're already taken. :lol:

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blue_bean
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07 Oct 2011, 6:27 am

ArtemisHolmes wrote:

This leads to an interesting topic that's been on my mind for the past few days.

What are everyone's opinions on arranged marriages, or marriages done before you know a person that well? Including 'internet marriages', after which you start living together and stuff. I've thought it over, and the concept of arranged marriages... isn't a bad one. In recent times, people have gotten so used to being able to pick and choose, and then the whole dating and engagement process is open for mistakes and accidents on one person's part [or both of them] that leads to a break up. Suppose divorce wasn't an option; What would you do if you were set up in an arranged marriage?

I find the concept freeing. There's no pretenses on what the couple should act like around and with each other. They may not be best friends, or even have enough shared interests to be friends at all, but they don't need to spend every waking moment with each other. Just enough time to fulfill each other physically, and they could very well be gone until the end of the day. You don't have to go through the dating process; You're already married, and so you can be as intense romantically as you want without coming off as weird or creepy, because it's expected.

I don't have much time, gotta go now, but I'm interested in seeing a couple of responses; Especially from our newest bride and groom!

IMO they're more successful than non-arranged marriages.
The two people that get arranged usually aren't just thrown together out of convenience either, it's a whole swathe of family and matchmakers that find them a compatible husband/wife, so it's guaranteed that your prospective spouses will be picked by people who know you/your interests/your personality well.
The family do background checks on the potential match and everything in some countries.

Wolfheart
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07 Oct 2011, 6:31 am

ArtemisHolmes wrote:

What are everyone's opinions on arranged marriages, or marriages done before you know a person that well? Including 'internet marriages'

On the positive side, people in arranged marriages go into it with lower expectations than a love marriage so they're more likely to be happier. They also have similar goals, values, beliefs and can generally be very family orientated. The main thing that makes an arranged marriage so successful is valuing logic over emotional desire and putting family first. For it to work however, both people need to be prepared to have a strong sense of understanding, compromise and mutual respect for each other.

Moog
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07 Oct 2011, 6:50 am

blue_bean wrote:

THIS IS AN OPEN MARRIAGE PROPOSAL!! !! !!

No, not a proposal for an open marriage!! Simply put, the first person who says yes will be my fiance!

TILL DEATH DO US PART!! !! ! :twisted:

How quickly is death likely to come should we wed? :chin:

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Moog
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07 Oct 2011, 7:03 am

blue_bean wrote:

ArtemisHolmes wrote:

In some cultures I'm pretty sure they'd also make use of astrology to assess potential matches.

And knowing that, the whole idea makes a lot more sense to me.

I'm pretty sure that a good astrologer could set up complete strangers and know whether it would work out. They'd also be able to instruct the couple on any issues that might need careful treatment.

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07 Oct 2011, 7:09 am

Moog wrote:

blue_bean wrote:

ArtemisHolmes wrote:

So do me and Boo make a good astrological match? *bats eyelashes*

Moog
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07 Oct 2011, 7:18 am

blue_bean wrote:

Moog wrote:

blue_bean wrote:

ArtemisHolmes wrote:

So do me and Boo make a good astrological match? *bats eyelashes*

I don't think I've seen your chart... think I've got Boo's though

I did specify good astrologer, I'm really only an egg

This was a fun thread for me, not sure many arranged marriages came of it, though:

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt170967.html

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blue_bean
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07 Oct 2011, 7:20 am

Moog wrote:

blue_bean wrote:

THIS IS AN OPEN MARRIAGE PROPOSAL!! !! !!

No, not a proposal for an open marriage!! Simply put, the first person who says yes will be my fiance!

TILL DEATH DO US PART!! !! ! :twisted:

How quickly is death likely to come should we wed? :chin:

I am no black widow, Sir Moog! No need! Life of marriage to me should be suffering enough

Moog
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07 Oct 2011, 7:25 am

blue_bean wrote:

Moog wrote:

blue_bean wrote:

THIS IS AN OPEN MARRIAGE PROPOSAL!! !! !!

No, not a proposal for an open marriage!! Simply put, the first person who says yes will be my fiance!

TILL DEATH DO US PART!! !! ! :twisted:

How quickly is death likely to come should we wed? :chin:

I am no black widow, Sir Moog! No need! Life of marriage to me should be suffering enough

you make it sound so appealing

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techstepgenr8tion
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07 Oct 2011, 8:12 am

So wait, do you guys still need a best man?

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Ilka
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07 Oct 2011, 8:45 am

ArtemisHolmes wrote:

What are everyone's opinions on arranged marriages, or marriages done before you know a person that well?

I think people nowadays usually do not marry out of love, but out of physical attraction, and thinking if things do not work the way they want, they can always divorce. Those are not good foundations to start a family. I think that's why arranged marriages can work. All you need is commitment from both sides to make things work. When yo have a child, you do not know him, but you love him anyway. You love him because he is your child. You do not care if the child is ugly or beautiful, if there is chemistry or not, you love him anyway. Why cant it work the same way with the person you "choose" to spend the rest of your life with? Its all about decisions and commitment.

Grisha
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07 Oct 2011, 8:51 am

Oh Jeebus - looks like I'm late to this party...

Next time someone on WP wants to get married, wake me up will you?

Would you reconsider if I told you we could get married in this church? NOT kidding, it's about an hour's drive from where I live.

How about it pumpkin?

mv
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07 Oct 2011, 8:55 am

Grisha wrote:

Oh Jeebus - looks like I'm late to this party...

Next time someone on WP wants to get married, wake me up will you?

Would you reconsider if I told you we could get married in this church? NOT kidding, it's about an hour's drive from where I live.

How about it pumpkin?

You live near the Kill Bill church? It's not really in Texas?

{yes, next I'll be asking if Samuel L. Jackson really plays organ there... :roll:

}

Grisha
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07 Oct 2011, 9:03 am

mv wrote:

Grisha wrote:

Oh Jeebus - looks like I'm late to this party...

You live near the Kill Bill church? It's not really in Texas?

{yes, next I'll be asking if Samuel L. Jackson really plays organ there... :roll:

}

Yes, it's out in the desert near Lancaster - a lot of movies are shot out there because it's so close to LA. People can (and do) get married there too...

OneStepBeyond
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07 Oct 2011, 10:56 am

ArtemisHolmes wrote:

i actually think it's not too much of a bad idea. i've had friends from many different cultures/religious backgrounds and many had parents who from an arranged marriage, who were very lovely and sucessful couples. I actually have a friend from school who entered an arranged marriage just 2weeks ago, i'll be interesting to see how it works out. I think it's different nowadays too as technology and ease of travel allows you to get to know people a lot easier, rather than just being thrown with a complete stranger.
Plus i'm no good at finding/picking my own partners so i don't spose i could come off much worse:/
&the side of me that likes certainty and stability kinda likes this
In recent times, people have gotten so used to being able to pick and choose, and then the whole dating and engagement process is open for mistakes and accidents on one person's part [or both of them] that leads to a break up. Suppose divorce wasn't an option;

The_Face_of_Boo
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07 Oct 2011, 11:03 am

hey.....huh... wha.. what did happen?

What's this ring on my finger??

And who's that naked woman sleeping besides me??

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