Why can't friends become lovers?

Post Reply New Topic

I think I might be too young to know this but here's what I think. I think most relationships happen after a certain time of beings friends. Well usually that's how it works for me. Me and my girlfriend were best friends before we started going out. So... feel free to correct me if I'm wrong

I think people can be friends first, but I also think that people shouldn't expect friendship to evolve into something more. Once its put out there, that one person wants to be more than friends-- if the other rejects, quietly respect their decision because thats not what they were there for originally anyway.

Maybe it depends on how you get there. If you don't know someone well and make a romantic approach, and they aren't interested, then being "friend zoned" seems likely to be permanent (since it really isn't about friendship as much as being "not romance"). And that kind of situation could even poison chances at deep friendship, since the person may wonder if you're sticking around only because they think that you think you'll get another chance in the future.

OTOH, if you get to know someone such that romance is not part of it -- say, you and/or the other person is in a relationship at the time -- and then at some point circumstances change, then it seems possible that a romantic relationship could develop out of friendship.

It depends on the woman really. For some you really do have to be attractive to them within the first few minutes or they will not consider you for anything further. For others the friendship can turn into a relationship.

It's always been my impression that it has NEVER worked like "friends becoming lovers". From what I've seen it's guy likes girl when they were never friends, girl says yes, now they're dating. Nobody I ever knew was "friends first" before hooking up. In fact it's been drilled into my head that at least when it comes to the dating years, men and women CANNOT be friends. (Not without having first gotten into a relationship anyway).

i think you are right that it often happens after two people are friends for a while.

i am glad you posted in the thread. you bring a youthful perspective that could be as insightful and knowledgeable as any adult's can be. there is no reason to doubt your own experiences and ideas.