Wow this woman is messed up!

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spongy
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11 Oct 2011, 4:22 am

Alienboy wrote:
spongy wrote:
Im sorry but it sounds to me like you were given a fake number.

I applaud your courage in asking her and it doesnt seem like she is a person that you´d benefit from knowing(I understand that a female has the choice to turn down males but I think that the whole fake number thing is a bit too harsh since you are giving the guy hope)so you should probably just try to avoid her from now on.


Well like I said...the guy texted me saying he goes to the SAME COLLEGE as me and that girl who gave me the number. Do you mean that she gave me a "fake number" in the sense that the number was just not hers? I highly doubt that she just spouted out random numbers and turns out the number belongs to another student at the same college...that happens to be a male. Knowing this changes the whole situation. She wasn't just trying to "get rid of me"...she was being a b**** on purpose.

My sister has a joke with a male friend of hers which consists that whenever she doesnt feel like talking to a guy she gives him his number making him to think its hers and the following day she asks her friend how things went(wondering if he was able to figure out what had happened).

Every time she brings this up I tell her its downright mean but she is probably not the only one that does it.


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MXH
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11 Oct 2011, 5:27 am

i want to help you figure out whos number it is, but my morals say to just let you confront her later.



Lilya
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11 Oct 2011, 7:02 am

She may be intimated by her boyfriend and be in a serious need of help.


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hyperlexian
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11 Oct 2011, 7:49 am

here's my point of view. she felt like you followed her from class and she was rather freaked out. she was worried you would not leave her alone so she gave you a fake number or her bf's number to get you away from her ASAP. if there were not a lot of people around this could especially be the case and she may have been worried for her safety. the fact you are now considering taking revenge really reinforces that idea. whatever the case, just walk away. she is not interested in you.


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AsteroidNap
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11 Oct 2011, 9:45 am

Yeah, quite frankly I don't know what to believe now. The OP sort of changed his story over the course of this adventure. In the parlance of drama he's become a very 'unreliable narrator.'

In the original story she seemed almost amenable to his approach. Now she's cast as awkward and nervous. And the need for revenge, apart from doing nothing to help the situation or help himself in future interactions, sends off warning bells about the whole situation.

I'm so confused here.



curlyfry
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11 Oct 2011, 10:13 am

hyperlexian wrote:
here's my point of view. she felt like you followed her from class and she was rather freaked out. she was worried you would not leave her alone so she gave you a fake number or her bf's number to get you away from her ASAP. if there were not a lot of people around this could especially be the case and she may have been worried for her safety. the fact you are now considering taking revenge really reinforces that idea. whatever the case, just walk away. she is not interested in you.


^This

You said she was hot. So this is probably the scenario played out as usual. She said, she has a BF then gives you a number saying "Let's see what happens". You made the effort anyway but just let it go and save yourself the headache. Plus ignore the texts already.



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11 Oct 2011, 9:30 pm

AsteroidNap wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
It's weird.. why the f*** would someone do that. She sounds mentally ret*d.


hmmm, I'd be careful about slinging that word around. In addition to a current female friend who's stuck in an abusive relationship and can't get out, I'm also reading a novel manuscript for another friend of mine who, at the age of 14, was seduced by a 27 year old abusive man who so controlled her and verbally tortured her that she became anorexic.

You don't know the intentions of the woman in the original post. I could very well be wrong, but I've seen a few instances where her actions could be considered a 'cry for help' as it were in trying to break away.


You are, in esscence, correct. But it's also very PC. As I also have mental issues, it's just like me poking fun at myself.

I agree with Hyperlexian though, now that I read over the thread. I would think it would be very foolish to try and get revenge on someone. Rise above it. I have a lot of respect for people who rise above me when I act like an ass, and I try to rise above it when people are the same to me. It's the only way to go.

The world is full of people you can't and won't relate to, as well as people you can. Just write it off as going nowhere, and leave it at that. What she did wasn't very nice, but you don't know why it was done and there really isn't any point in trying to find out.

Good luck.



Todesking
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12 Oct 2011, 1:45 am

hale_bopp wrote:

It's weird.. why the f*** would someone do that. She sounds mentally ret*d.


She might like yanking her boyfriend's chain or she might even likes to weatch her boyfriend beat up some random dude. I worked with a waitress who would flirt with random guys at bars so her boyfriend would beat the smaller guy up until she got her boyfriend cut up with a straight razzor. Everyone in the bar knew the cutter so they kept their lips sealed and he was left with massive hospital bills so she dumped him and bragged to everyone at work about dumping him. :roll: Some people are trash. :evil:


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Alienboy
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12 Oct 2011, 2:25 am

hyperlexian wrote:
here's my point of view. she felt like you followed her from class and she was rather freaked out. she was worried you would not leave her alone so she gave you a fake number or her bf's number to get you away from her ASAP. if there were not a lot of people around this could especially be the case and she may have been worried for her safety. the fact you are now considering taking revenge really reinforces that idea. whatever the case, just walk away. she is not interested in you.


OK like I mentioned before. Right after she mentioned that she already had a bf I stopped hitting on her, BUT then she went out of her way to give me her bf's number. That is my point. She wasn't fearing for her life. She was just awkward and then decided ok I'm going to be a b**** to this guy after he showed obvious signs that he doesn't continue to hit on girls that have bf's. So yeah, your point of view is missing a few key elements. So me wanting revenge before(I'm over it now) is somehow strange in response to someone giving you their bf's number and having the nerve to say "We will see what happens."...? What is wrong with you?



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12 Oct 2011, 2:30 am

I don't know that I would call her messed up but I'd proceed with caution. I can't really give you any insight as to her intentions. I can only speculate things such as, perhaps she doesn't have a boyfriend but you caught her off guard and she panicked. Perhaps she wished you to know she doesn't want to date you but she isn't opposed to interacting with you. Perhaps she is testing you to see if you're brace (will call her despite the risks) or of low morals (will call her with the knowledge she's in a relationship).

Perhaps you will run into her again and can better determine her intentions then.



bucephalus
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12 Oct 2011, 2:55 am

Alienboy wrote:
...What is wrong with you?


that's a bit harsh don't you think? I'll assume you didn't mean it


My take: (guessing) she was a bit freaked out over being approached in the car-park. maybe she felt that had she not given you her BF's (or a random male friend or male family member's) phone number, you might approach her again in the car-park some other day. Maybe she gave you her BF's phone number to make him jealous and make her appear more 'in demand'.

I know your intentions were good (i commend your courage!) but I think you should delete the phone number, delete all of the texts, and avoid deliberately approaching the girl in the future


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hyperlexian
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12 Oct 2011, 8:45 am

Alienboy wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
here's my point of view. she felt like you followed her from class and she was rather freaked out. she was worried you would not leave her alone so she gave you a fake number or her bf's number to get you away from her ASAP. if there were not a lot of people around this could especially be the case and she may have been worried for her safety. the fact you are now considering taking revenge really reinforces that idea. whatever the case, just walk away. she is not interested in you.


OK like I mentioned before. Right after she mentioned that she already had a bf I stopped hitting on her, BUT then she went out of her way to give me her bf's number. That is my point. She wasn't fearing for her life. She was just awkward and then decided ok I'm going to be a b**** to this guy after he showed obvious signs that he doesn't continue to hit on girls that have bf's. So yeah, your point of view is missing a few key elements. So me wanting revenge before(I'm over it now) is somehow strange in response to someone giving you their bf's number and having the nerve to say "We will see what happens."...? What is wrong with you?

right, so you are failing to notice that multiple people happened to also think that my explanation could possibly be a decent idea of what happened. there's nothing wrong with me lol

you approached her in a parking lot (or was it... a parkade? if it was, that's just too scary 8O ) and chatted her up. it would have looked like you followed her, even if you actually didn't. now, whether or not any sort of rapes, murders and kidnappings actually happen with any frequency in parking lots is irrelevant - women have a great deal of fear about it (there's even an urban legend in there somewhere).

when she said she hd a boyfriend and you suddenly stopped, she may have been worried of what would happen next. you didn't say that you walked away and were halfway across the parking lot; from the story you told, you essentially froze in your tracks, which is distinctly different from sauntering away or saying, "hey that's cool, have a great day!". this is the point when a person who feels themselves to be in potential danger has a panicky moment as your next move is unknown. for myself in such a situation, i've found that i try to do something to appease the person. it usually works (i mean... you left).

there are other possible interpretations, sure. i doubt she would seek to intentionally hurt or embarrass you unless she was very upset with something you did. and according to your story you didn't do anything to anger her, so it's not a likely scenario. she could actually have a jealous boyfriend who is screening her calls, of course. or she might be insane. hard to say, but my theory is based on the information you provided and on my own personal experiences.


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Fullofstars
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12 Oct 2011, 1:13 pm

OP, since none if us was there, we can only go by what your impression of the situation was. It's possible that the way you think the situation went down was very different from the way another person might have seen it. But if your version is accurate, you're absolutely right: the girl is an a**hole. It sounds to me like she used you to make her boyfriend jealous, though, so don't take it personally. I doubt she was trying to torment you. He's the unlucky sucker who "got the girl" and you're the lucky guy who dodged that bullet.



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12 Oct 2011, 2:57 pm

I was thinking the other day about how people with low self-esteem always imagine the worst possible scenario. Take for instance the OP calling this number and assuming the male voice was the girl's boyfriend. It could have been her father (she lives at home), or a brother. After the texting, he solidfies his belief that it is a boyfriend when contact is made. But we still don't know this for sure from the OPs description of events.

We know this guy goes to the same college. That's it.



Fullofstars
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12 Oct 2011, 3:16 pm

AsteroidNap wrote:
I was thinking the other day about how people with low self-esteem always imagine the worst possible scenario. Take for instance the OP calling this number and assuming the male voice was the girl's boyfriend. It could have been her father (she lives at home), or a brother. After the texting, he solidfies his belief that it is a boyfriend when contact is made. But we still don't know this for sure from the OPs description of events.

We know this guy goes to the same college. That's it.


It was a cell phone. It's extremely unlikely that a girl would have her father or brother leave the customized voice message on her cell. Even when my 83 year old grandmother needed to have my uncle leave the voicemail greeting for her, she made sure he said "You have reached the number of *Grandmother's Name...*"

It's also unlikely that the girl gave out a random fake number and it just so happened to belong to someone who goes to the same school. And then, the person who texted him said that his gf knew what he looked like.

It's fine to play devil's advocate; I'm usually the first person to question a story like this. But in this case, when you connect the dots, the picture is very clear. I think the OP got burned, and I'd hate for him to get burned twice because the people who he's venting to aren't listening to what he's saying.



AsteroidNap
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12 Oct 2011, 3:58 pm

Fullofstars wrote:
AsteroidNap wrote:
I was thinking the other day about how people with low self-esteem always imagine the worst possible scenario. Take for instance the OP calling this number and assuming the male voice was the girl's boyfriend. It could have been her father (she lives at home), or a brother. After the texting, he solidfies his belief that it is a boyfriend when contact is made. But we still don't know this for sure from the OPs description of events.

We know this guy goes to the same college. That's it.


It was a cell phone. It's extremely unlikely that a girl would have her father or brother leave the customized voice message on her cell. Even when my 83 year old grandmother needed to have my uncle leave the voicemail greeting for her, she made sure he said "You have reached the number of *Grandmother's Name...*"

It's also unlikely that the girl gave out a random fake number and it just so happened to belong to someone who goes to the same school. And then, the person who texted him said that his gf knew what he looked like.

It's fine to play devil's advocate; I'm usually the first person to question a story like this. But in this case, when you connect the dots, the picture is very clear. I think the OP got burned, and I'd hate for him to get burned twice because the people who he's venting to aren't listening to what he's saying.


But the problem is the advice we're giving him doesn't address the root cause of his issue. What he's described here is really a symptom of a larger issue. Namely, low self-esteem. At first I thought the OP didn't have such issues, but subsequent descriptions of events and his reactions indicate he does. As someone pointed out, why lie about being a girl? Also, as events unfold, we do learn that it is a cell phone, but the OP didn't know that number to be a cell at first right? If you text a landline, of course there wouldn't be a response, so then he calls and gets a male voice recorded. There still aren't enough dots to make any connection to it being a bf, and yet he does. It could be the father's voice on a landline (and plenty of people don't leave identifying info on voice messages, btw).

And of course if one lives under the misconception that 'all women are evil', then the first thing the mind jumps to is a nefarious plan to embarrass or injure.

Now in the final analysis, do I believe this is the bf? Possibly. Is there a nefarious plot afoot by the woman? Still no evidence of that. Should the OP pursue further? I agree that he should probably right this one off as a learning experience. But the question is, what will he learn from it?

p.s. for clarification, if you read the OP's description of events, he himself assumes the 'bf' and the girl will know what he looks like -- the person texting doesn't actually say that he knows what the OP looks like because at this point, after the fib to save face, the texter believes the OP to be a girl.