Always been unloved, always will be. Is suicide the only ans

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genly
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12 Oct 2011, 5:38 pm

I'm an ugly girl and it sucks. Men hate ugly girls and the thing they hate the most in the whole Universe is an ugly girl with confidence. Sometimes I think about going to a 3rd world country and marry a gold digger at least I wouldn't be alone then.

MountZion
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12 Oct 2011, 5:53 pm

I'm very sorry that these things have happened to you. I most certainly acknowledge that things are just as difficult for women when it comes to attraction. I would hazard to give you advice as I wouldn't know what to say to a girl in your position nor do I actually know what you look like or whether you are as ugly as you say you are (it may be that you are not).

All I can say is identify the areas where you are most attractive (physically especially), and see what you can do to amplify them. Embrace all parts of yourself. Thats all I have. I am sure things will look up for you soon

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seoulgamer
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12 Oct 2011, 5:57 pm

To the OP: You are a human being. Let's start with that. You possess an inherent dignity as a person that is in no way diminished by your facial features, if indeed your looks are as severe as you say they are.

The mere fact that you are capable of feeling ensures that you can give and receive love. Unfortunately, people do judge each other by appearance-as you have no doubt observed yourself. If I were you, I would focus on the relationships in your life that you can make a contribution to-those you share with friends and family. If men and women alike reject you because your face is deformed, then they are missing out on a chance to connect with a wonderful human person, and that's not something you should allow to destroy your happiness. Offer the love you long to share to those who will appreciate it in their lives, even if it's not a boyfriend or girlfriend.

You seem beyond words of encouragement about your love life. I'm sorry to hear that you despair so much as to consider suicide. Just remember that there are exceptions to every rule-sometimes people do fall in love even when they are ugly, and are happy together. Even if it doesn't happen for you, know that only such a person as would accept you like this is worthy of your love-and that you are worth every bit as much as any more beautiful person.

You're still a student, according to your profile. Keep working away at your degree, and keep on striving away towards your future. You never know how things might turn out-you might end up in a financial situation in the future where you can afford your surgery. And even if you can't, never stop the struggle for happiness. Never let people put you down, or let them stop you from showing them what you have to offer as a human being.

May you find happiness in your life.

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thedaywalker
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12 Oct 2011, 6:24 pm

maybe try and relie on something thats pretty about you other then your face maybe your ability to make people feel good by your actions or your ability to provide for a family. are you sure you have nothing and you wan't everything?

nick007
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12 Oct 2011, 6:48 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:

bluerose wrote:

Ok, so I'm a really really fugly girl (guess my body's sort of hot, but it doesn't matter because my face disgusts everyone too much to care). Lesbians reject me, guys reject me, everyone has rejected me my entire life, romantically and as a fellow human being in some guys' cases.

But I crave being touched and kissed and hugged like everyone else. I just never get it from anyone. It hurts to listen to my friends whinge about how this guy's not good enough and blah blah blah and even lesbians are like that in some cases, or the lesbians that hang out with my friends, but only because they have the hots for my friends, obviously they don't have the hots for me so they won't even talk to me, it's the same with guys. Basically, my looks kill any chance I'll ever have with anyone, including homeless people. I get ignored and my toes stepped on in bars, clubs, everywhere while my hot girl friends get everything handed to them by males and dykes alike, including better grades in school for no reason but being good-looking.

And it's not about how I dress(feminine and good) or makeup, which I wear. My doctor said I needed orthognatic surgery I'll probably never be able to afford - 3 surgeries! One more expensive than the other :S - I don't even have a job! And that's just the beginning, I mean I can already see a nose job will be needed no matter if they put my jaws where they're supposed to be. Basically, I'm a monster, but not the one feature is out of whack type, the everything is not where it should be type - I have an enourmous, wide, overly long nose that dominates over my tiny eyes, narrow cheeks and nonexistent lips. There's no subjectivity here, if EVERYONE in your entire life experience rejects you, you stop with the "everyone is beautiful", stupidly optimistic mindset very fast, trust me.

Basically, how could I live an even moderately nonmiserable life when everyone I will ever meet will reject me because of my ugliness and yet on the inside I'm a girl with emotional needs like any other? I'm literally all alone with noone I don't have to pay who'll listen to me so I thought maybe people here could tell me something comforting that's not a ret*d oh-love-will-find-you kind of dreck I stopped believing years ago. Even the mere thought of someone treating me like a girl and loving me in that way seems laughable to me, even if I want it and make an effort and wear makeup and dress up and whatnot, it's all for nothing.

I thought maybe this forum was the right place because people here understand what rejection's like, but all it is is guys complaining about hot chicks and how they can't get laid so maybe it's the wrong place. To clarify, I'm not looking for self-pitying answers from guys that are pining after hot chicks like horny dogs about how they have it so much worse, but actual replies about MY situation, thank you:D I foresee a gun barrel in my mouth as soon as I get enough money to buy one (no worries about anyone on earth bothering to stop me), but in between I'd like advice on feeling better about being loveless.

^all that, except its my body, not my face, that's screwed up.

Oh, and I'm supposed to "be a man and deal with it" too...

I'm kind of surprised that I'm the 1st to suggest that you two start chatting

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Tufted Titmouse

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12 Oct 2011, 8:55 pm

No, it's not the only answer. Having attempted it, I don't think it provides what you're looking for. You want escape from the unpleasant elements, in their intense form, and not from everything.

blueroses
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13 Oct 2011, 9:07 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Quote:

bluerose not to be confused with blueroses, two different users.

EEK!! They must make a rule against such two too similar usernames!! I wondered about the job thing because I know the other blueroseS has a job (I thought she lost the job while reading the OP).

Yes, I am still employed, Face_of_Boo, at least for the timebeing. Thank God. And, honestly, with all the other problems in my life that I'm trying to get sorted out right now, trying to date and get into a relationship isn't really on my radar anymore.

OP, I don't discount how you are feeling and think women are held to very high standards in regards to how they look. There is a very disproportionate amount of emphasis placed upon looks, as opposed to character, meeting career goals, intelligence, etc. I think that emphasis on looks leads to a lot of women feeling the way you do. Everyone has limited control over how other people treat them or react to them. The only thing we can control is how we treat ourselves.

I hope you'll consider Grisha's suggestion of seeking treatment for depression, since depression can make everything, including feeling decent about yourself, an uphill battle. (Believe me, I know!) And being connected to other people in your life (making friends, having healthy relationships with family when possible, etc) can help fill the void a lot of us feel from being chronically single. There are a lot of people on this site who can make very supportive friends if you spend time here and get to know us. Also, volunteer work, if you have time to do it, can be a good way to meet people and feel good about yourself for supporting a cause you feel strongly about.

genly
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13 Oct 2011, 11:08 am

There was a white supremacist guy that said he didn't care if a girl was ugly, the most important thing is that she was white and willing to have a big family. But I don't want to have 10 kids and raise them to be nazis.

nick007
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13 Oct 2011, 11:50 am

Have you supposedly ugly girls thought about trying to meet blind guys :?:

bluerose
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13 Oct 2011, 1:06 pm

Blind guys can "see" by feeling with their hands if you didn't know. Not to mention they probably have friends who can see.

I'm not looking for an online thing, it's meaningless for me, I only crave affectionate touch. Speaking and words mean nothing. That's why I'm not really comforted by talking to my friends and whatnot. All that seems so stupid when you have noone to cuddle with - not that I really know what it's like to cuddle but sometimes I play-pretend with a blanket

And sorry but for those who complain about being fat/guys going for body over face-biggest myth in the world IMO, stop eating:D And stop comparing what I can't help to a problem you CAN help, I have no sympathy or patience for people with no self-discipline who can't stop stuffing their face/people who can't get over their anxiety. I HAVE to get over people being GUARANTEED to treat me rudely just to go outside every morning. It's a hostile world out there.

And the one who said he's forced to be a man, do you think anyone gives a s**t if I cry? I'm alone all the time with my problems. I have friends, yeah, but not on the BFF level, probably because they can't relate to my problems, because of my appearance, and I can't relate to theirs. Anyone who has affection in their life, love, I can't relate to and don't want to, whenever they complain about something it just makes me want to smack them in the face.

genly - I know about the golddigger thing, but I could never ever do it, it's just not the same.

And pets aren't the same either, I don't even like animals.

Charity is nice and all, but I don't really feel like giving back to a society that's given me nothing. It seems stupid.

techstepgenr8tion
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13 Oct 2011, 1:16 pm

bluerose wrote:

And sorry but for those who complain about being fat/guys going for body over face-biggest myth in the world IMO, stop eating:D And stop comparing what I can't help to a problem you CAN help, I have no sympathy or patience for people with no self-discipline who can't stop stuffing their face/people who can't get over their anxiety. I HAVE to get over people being GUARANTEED to treat me rudely just to go outside every morning. It's a hostile world out there.

The problem is, people who don't have metabolic challenges don't want to know the difference because it kills their high. For them to actually contemplate the reality that other people can put in the same amount of working out, eat the same amount of calories, and still significantly outweigh them because of the cosequences that would deal to how they'd need to completely rethink how they treat and look at people. To them it overcomplicates life and its effort they don't want to put in.

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Wolfheart
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13 Oct 2011, 1:34 pm

bluerose wrote:

Maybe if you stopped perceiving everyone as hostile and generalizing the whole human race as being negative and shallow, you'd find that people treat you differently. If you're bitter about people in general, it will be picked up on by others and reflect in the way you perceive or act towards others.

bluerose wrote:

Charity is nice and all, but I don't really feel like giving back to a society that's given me nothing. It seems stupid.

So you think the world and society is obliged to you and that it owes you something? That people should give you special treatment because you have a sense of entitlement? The world is far bigger than your self-absorbed problems. Maybe if you stopped worrying about yourself and cared about others, you'd actually get along better with others.

Ichinin
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13 Oct 2011, 1:35 pm

DeanAdamFry wrote:

Greatsharkbite wrote:

I don't know, I think there are a lot of girls who think they're fugly and really aren't. My girlfriend has low self esteem amongst her sisters, but she is infact the prettiest (to me).

That's why I asked for a picture of her because I really do think its the case of low self-esteem.

I agree. Most girls look rather good, and the hard part is to find someone that can accept all your quirks and habits, and who has an understanding for your situation as an aspie. Last date i was on was things looked surprisingly well - until she showed her true side and came across really non-empatic about single men in my situation and that made me loose interest in her really fast.

So, it's just not looks...

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bluerose
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13 Oct 2011, 1:50 pm

You don't think I used to be nice? God you're naive. I used to smile at people, I used to be a very bubbly person, making jokes etc. It won me a lot of female friends that I still have, and gay guy acquintancases. What it didn't get me is male attention/a boyfriend, or even a girlfriend, because that's not how THAT works. It also didn't save me from people shouting obscenities at me in the street, even though I'm always taken care of and I'm not quirky in any way socially, much less creepy. I would've probably gotten beaten up by now if I was either of those things. If just looking at my face the way it is irritates men and dykes alike can you imagine how they'd react if I acted rudely? No, I'm on my best behaviour, trust me.

Wolfheart, why don't you ask those hot chicks that act like b*****s and step on others if being self-absorbed and expecting special treatment works out? I think they'd tell you it works out quite well for them, idiot. Sorry, but you are:D They definitely don't suffer from a lack of love, or a lack of job, or a lack of anything really. Trust me, treating people like s**t is the way to live and succeed if you look beautiful. If you look ugly as a girl, how you behave isn't going to get you any attention. I get stepped on whether I'm nice or not. If I'm rude, I just get stepped on WORSE.

It can't be anything but looks, sorry to kill your la-la-land optimism about how behaviour actually counts in women. Not that everyone doesn't already know that it doesn't matter how you act if you're female. If anything, being a b***h gets those hot girls even more pathetic guy lapdogs running after them.