dating: a numbers game?

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Dark_Lord_2008
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14 Oct 2011, 8:32 am

AsteroidNap wrote:

I'd also like to add that if one really takes this process to heart...that it is a numbers game....and throw in the other adage that "there are always more fish in the sea", one can begin to rid themselves of the clinginess born of desperation, a desperation in which we imagine we'll never find another.

Being rejected from job interviews/applications when you are unemployed or looking for a better job is heart breaking and hurts lot more than being rejected by some random.

minervx
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14 Oct 2011, 8:55 am

smudge wrote:

If you don't ask - the answer is always no.

I completely believe in the numbers thing. Always have backup and don't set your hopes too high on one person. Look at several and if one says no, then move on to someone else. It only makes sense. Also, having your mind set on one person at a time really narrows down your compatibility with others.

i agree 100%

exactly, the problem of being shy is you only get to meet a handful of women, and too much stock is put into them, and rejection is taken hardly.

Grisha
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14 Oct 2011, 9:07 am

Yes: It certainly is a numbers game.

Everyone's heard the saying "There's someone for everyone" I disagree: On a global basis, there are literally millions of "someones" for everyone.

The problem is two of them ever finding each other in the thronging multitudes.

Think about how many people you meet in a way that could potentially lead to dating each month. For me it's probably around 0-1, and then I wonder why I am chronically single!

If I raised that number to 10-20, I would be off the market in no time, as would many people...

minervx
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14 Oct 2011, 9:15 am

Grisha wrote:

Yes: It certainly is a numbers game.

Everyone's heard the saying "There's someone for everyone" I disagree: On a global basis, there are literally millions of "someones" for everyone.

.

Agreed. Just because a person is special and unique, does not mean there isn't 1000 other people who could be just as special to you.

mv
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14 Oct 2011, 9:28 am

Grisha wrote:

Yeah, I meet about 0. No wonder! I'm done with the online thing, and I'm stumped as to where else to go. I think I'm a bit stymied by my age/situation, etc., too. I almost NEVER meet anyone single and age-appropriate for me. I think I'd be shocked if I did!

Grisha
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14 Oct 2011, 9:56 am

mv wrote:

Grisha wrote:

Yeah, I meet about 0. No wonder! I'm done with the online thing, and I'm stumped as to where else to go. I think I'm a bit stymied by my age/situation, etc., too. I almost NEVER
meet anyone single and age-appropriate for me. I think I'd be shocked if I did!

I think if I got serious enough I would do volunteer work with an organization where I might be likely to find compatible people. Simply engaging in group activities would fail because I wouldn't be able to approach anyone. There's a marine mammal shelter a couple of miles from my house that might fill the bill - marine science is one of my special interests.

I've not given up on meeting someone online, I'm just not interested in online dating sites anymore...

AsteroidNap
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14 Oct 2011, 1:26 pm

Dark_Lord_2008 wrote:

AsteroidNap wrote:

Being rejected from job interviews/applications when you are unemployed or looking for a better job is heart breaking and hurts lot more than being rejected by some random.

Well...yes...job applications are a different matter. One is narrowly filtered because of a skill set which limits the number of attempts. Each application is rather more precious. And I'd argue that the very thing you want to do for a job interview, namely show that you really, really desire the job and that the company would be so much better with you in place, is almost exactly opposite of what you want to do while dating (at least initially).

hyperlexian
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14 Oct 2011, 3:55 pm

mv wrote:

heck with age appropriate! embrace your inner cougar. KIDDING! sorta. (rawr)

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MR20
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14 Oct 2011, 7:20 pm

hyperlexian wrote:

mv wrote:

heck with age appropriate! embrace your inner cougar. KIDDING! sorta. (rawr)

Yeah! Go sleep around and defile yourself with people have your age! Who knows, you might even get raped or catch a STD!

Grisha
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14 Oct 2011, 7:46 pm

MR20 wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

mv wrote:

heck with age appropriate! embrace your inner cougar. KIDDING! sorta. (rawr)

Yeah! Go sleep around and defile yourself with people have your age! Who knows, you might even get raped or catch a STD!

Are you actually trying to get banned now?

CrinklyCrustacean
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14 Oct 2011, 7:46 pm

smudge wrote:

A lot of posters in this forum don't have a backup. They fall for one girl at a time, and if she says no, it can be a long time before they like someone else enough to ask them out.

MR20
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14 Oct 2011, 7:52 pm

Grisha wrote:

MR20 wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

mv wrote:

heck with age appropriate! embrace your inner cougar. KIDDING! sorta. (rawr)

Yeah! Go sleep around and defile yourself with people have your age! Who knows, you might even get raped or catch a STD!

Are you actually trying to get banned now?

What I did say that would get me banned. I didn't call anyone out, and I didn't insult or personally attack someone.

And I'm not trying to get banned, as this is the only place (online or off) that I'm able to vent my frustrations.

Grisha
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14 Oct 2011, 7:58 pm

MR20 wrote:

Grisha wrote:

MR20 wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

mv wrote:

heck with age appropriate! embrace your inner cougar. KIDDING! sorta. (rawr)

Yeah! Go sleep around and defile yourself with people have your age! Who knows, you might even get raped or catch a STD!

Are you actually trying to get banned now?

Well just for your information: suggesting that someone is "defiling" themselves simply by having sex is highly offensive to many people - myself included.

People here are respectful of your personal views, you need to do the same for others.

MR20
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14 Oct 2011, 8:06 pm

Grisha wrote:

MR20 wrote:

Grisha wrote:

MR20 wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

mv wrote:

heck with age appropriate! embrace your inner cougar. KIDDING! sorta. (rawr)

Yeah! Go sleep around and defile yourself with people have your age! Who knows, you might even get raped or catch a STD!

Are you actually trying to get banned now?

BS. There are a lot of people here that view religion as made up fairy tale, and view anyone who believes in it as clueless idiots. I've seen a lot of post like that in the religion forum. To my knowledge none of the users have been banned. That's very offensive to someone like me who's christian.

hyperlexian
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14 Oct 2011, 8:11 pm

MR20 wrote:

your post was quite offensive. it's not necessary to mock people for having sex (not even if it is with younger people), and it is beneath you to do that. you're better than that. if these threads upset you, find threads with people you can offer support to instead of bringing on the nasty ok?

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Grisha
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14 Oct 2011, 8:17 pm

hyperlexian wrote:

mv wrote:

heck with age appropriate! embrace your inner cougar. KIDDING! sorta. (rawr)

I'm with Ms. Lexian - when I was younger, I always fantasized about older women, you could make some guy's life! :wink:

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