nat4200 wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
aspie48 wrote:
i need the experience of having a relationship to practice the skills i need in relationships and dating when i am older.
... basically, it sounds to me like you are not convinced you should be with her
I'm also wondering about this. Aspie48, if your reason for being in a relationship is more for "practice" than how you feel about the girl you are "seeing", then at the very least please make absolutely sure that your "practice girlfriend" understands this and will not be upset by this now or later down the track. I know other children played with practice relationships when I was a kid, but becoming much less of a game with age and by teenage years it can seem serious. As someone your aspie girlfriend may care about, it is possible that may hurt her worse than the bully can emotionally, eg. if she take your relationship more seriously than you do or feels that she likes you in a way that you don't reciprocate
I could see this being an issue for you (the OP), and for me when I get into my first relationship. As nat4200 says, relationships seem less about "practice" as you get older, so while I'd prefer to have a girl I'm strongly attracted to for any relationship, I sometimes feel as if the only girls who still (in their 20s) want to try relationships on a more childlike level will be those who are rather unattractive, or else I may be waiting for an extremely long time.
I could definitely see myself choosing a more adolescent-type relationship with a less attractive girl (at least in terms of physical beauty, even if her childlike nature adds much to her inner beauty) in lieu of pursuing a more attractive girl who is less genuinely curious about relationships due to lots of experience, or who expects me to act really grown up.
So, I don't fault you for wanting experience, and I know that waiting until you're older (and even less developed for your age) won't make things any better. I'd advise you to ignore these "friends" of yours--who may not understand why you feel in a rush to learn socially--and just hope that either your relationship develops to the point where they see it as a great thing, or else you progress socially to the point where you get girls they (and you) like better.
23 Nov 2011, 10:59 pm
