Need some honest opinion.... ladies, would u date me?

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rpcarnell
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24 Nov 2011, 9:49 pm

Is it just me or you look a little like HP Lovecraft?

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Pengu1n
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25 Nov 2011, 2:30 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Then you should realize that the answers (whether they're positive or negative) from a bunch of users on WP wouldn't count for the reality

Yeah, but my perception of reality is also skewed and "off." I have even less of an idea of how I really come over in person ......... :s

I think I might be all suave and great-looking, when I'm really a total clown just botching all social interactions.

Wolfheart
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25 Nov 2011, 5:23 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Pengu1n wrote:

Also, for what it is worth, I have no interest at all in trying any "dating site" and there is no way in hell I'd ever run that gauntlet and try and solicit women on those.

I really think that all of the women who sign up for those dating sites just do so to see what kind of propositions they get from pathetic guys, and most have no intent to actually communicate.

I'm awful anyway at writing such emails to "break ice" Also, I'm sh** at putting together a profile and anything I did would sound so incredibly lame and forced (Describe my interests, my personality...... lol (I have none)) I can never think of stuff to write..... at least stuff that builds me up and makes me sound appealing.

I know it sounds odd but I think relatively I cut a much better impression face2face than I would ever do on some dating site.

Then you should realize that the answers (whether they're positive or negative) from a bunch of users on WP wouldn't count for the reality.

It's very easy to say 'yes, I would date you' (or 'no' for that regard) behind the screen.

I agree, it doesn't account for many determining factors also, such as body language or perception and you also have to take into account that the users on this forum are scattered across the globe, it may not be accurate in regards to what is attractive in your area or country. You have to take into account that certain characteristics and behavior may make you more attractive depending on where you are in the world. Somewhere like central London is going vary greatly compared to somewhere like Michigan so I can't say what's generally perceived as attractive.

Wolfheart
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25 Nov 2011, 5:43 am

Pengu1n wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Then you should realize that the answers (whether they're positive or negative) from a bunch of users on WP wouldn't count for the reality

I'd say you'd definitely pull the confident rugged look off and many women like a man who looks practical, rough and ready, you're a well built guy and you've got nothing to be insecure about. Also consider growing your hair or a facial hair style, Some women love a guy that has a rough messy hair style and 5 o clock shadow and with your build, you'd definitely pull it off like this image below.

Pengu1n
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25 Nov 2011, 8:44 pm

Hi folks.

Another of my problems is that I definitely don't fit in culturally with my surroundings. Its beyond specific interests or style that I do and don't have, but there is really just some kind of vibe or sixth-sense about me I exude that I am just some sort of cultural anachronism. It hits peoples' subconscious.

Its like most NT people meet me and just instinctively know that I am not cut of the same cloth they are. I almost don't even have to say anything but its like they just look at me and know I am very different from them. Its almost uncanny.

Personally, I like alot of the general and specific advice. Sometimes i do grow my facial hair out into various forms. I agree about wearing striking colors like red to grab attention when its possible.

I feel like though perhaps enough of the key to success is to masquerade as an NT as much as possible. I'm a terrible actor though. I also have a suspicion that most girls and other people look at me and EXPECT me to be the confident type and the assertive Alpha-Male (from a distance.) I think they are disappointed when they meet me and I wasn't what they expected.

It might have been easier had I had some other more "niche" appearance like a goth or something where I could more easily slip into a role or sub-group. However, my presentation is more "general." ............. I am quite malleable, but I think people also expect or assume that I am going to be most like an NT, when in reality I am one of the most "off" guys in the world.

ValentineWiggin
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26 Nov 2011, 11:49 am

I couldn't care less about looks.
The only things I look at to determine compatibility are lifestyle, emotional intelligence or lack thereof, and ethics and worldview.

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ValentineWiggin
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26 Nov 2011, 11:53 am

Pengu1n wrote:

It might have been easier had I had some other more "niche" appearance like a goth or something where I could more easily slip into a role or sub-group. However, my presentation is more "general." ............. I am quite malleable, but I think people also expect or assume that I am going to be most like an NT, when in reality I am one of the most "off" guys in the world.

I can empathize- I've lost a lot of weight in the past year, and I find the attention I get seems to be from the exact type of guys who I'd expect would be chasing after stereotypically "hot" girls- emotionally-shallow and snarky. Before, I'd never gotten any attention at all, though, so I'm not sure which is preferable. Seems that having looks that aren't "general", as you put it, or conventionally-attractive is an effective screening tool against superficial people.

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