Break-up

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Are you the world Mecca for relationships?

Since you linked it.... tough break.

From what you've said, I can guess there are probably multiple factors at play here.

First - saying you not driving is not a problem in the beginning, well she probably meant it when she said it. Once an actual incident happened due to it that interfered with your plans to see it, it may have made her sit up and realise how much of an issue it will be, and continue to be, if she kept seeing you. I'm going to include distance in the same way as driving, because they are sort of intertwined in this instance. But distance is essentially the same - maybe she thought she could tell with it until she realised she couldn't.

There may have also been other factors at play which we as aspies are pretty infamous for. Again, it's very, very easy to say in the beginning that such things aren't a problem - until they get the chance to actually experience it or an incident first hand. Sometimes after experiencing something multiple times, people decide they just can't do it anymore.

Your mother also may be right. She may be lying about her work schedule or at least exaggerating it to use it as an excuse for the distance, you not being able to drive, the autism, or any other issue you had within your relationship, all of them or any combination thereof. I know very few people who are completely honest about the reason why they break up with someone.... especially to that person, or even to their own friends. It may have been her way of letting you down easy, a simple logical explanation she knew you would accept. Saying "let's still be friends" may have been, or was likely part of that letting you down easy.

But ultimately, I think it's all mostly irrelevant. At the end of the day she doesn't want to be with you - the reason why doesn't matter.
Moving on is the best thing you can do, without looking back. Second chances rarely work, and only then they only have a chance at working if you solve the original issues that caused the first break up.

Oh well, I think we'll agree to call it a day on that then.

You know... that behaviour sounds suspiciously like me when I was younger - are you sure she wasn't aspie but undiagnosed?
(recluse, the lack of contact, forgetting to keep her phone on her all the time, were things I was especially famous for when it came to pissing off guys I was dating when I was younger)
Because she was either aspie or never really that interested in you to begin with.

I still say the main factor was the permanent lack of car from your side, the distance only accelerated her realization and made it worse.

I bet her new boyfriend has a car ;p.

Exactly what I thought in the beginning too Boo. But the more he says, the more it seems that otherwise is actually a genuine possibility.

If she is from a small town in South Africa. I would bet that she was making contact with someone else more frequent than with you. This person could at the time fill her emotional needs more frequently than you could

What I am saying is, she probably cheated on you and felt guilty. Your mother is probably right.