How do you show someone you're interested in them?

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I'm a guy.

I think I'm okay when its someone I already know, but if its someone I've just met I have serious problems. I think I could get better with practise but anxiety is the biggest issue. I won't approach anyone if they have other people with them and I'm not good at breaking the ice. Then theres knowing how to respond to flirting by others. I either don't respond in the correct way or I misread their signals even though I can usually tell when someone is interested.

I don't want to try the 'player' approach and approach everyone until I get a yes. I figure I'll look more trustworty if I'm not seen approaching girls all the time. But I'm not saying I don't want to approach someone if I want to. Basically I don't want to turn to the 'bad boy' stereotype but I also don't want to be a bitter person who compalins about their problems but doesn't do anything to improve their chances. i guess practise is the best way to go

I didn't mean on harassing and abusive comments. I meant on saying stupid or inappropriate things because you lack social skills. Such as talking about bowel movement on a first date, or boring her with your special interest, or having an awkward body posture. That sort of things that are considered a huge no-no are actually irrelevant if a girl likes you and wants to spend some time with you.

It is likely easier for a woman who doesn't have any flirting skills to get into a relationship.I agree with what you are saying but how do you propose a man who has no flirting skills find his way into a relationship? Do what he is comfortable with and endure some inevitable rejections until he finds the woman who is compatible with his social awkwardness? Many feel finding the right person is a numbers game and I tend to agree.I think a likely problem for men with AS is that they don't approach enough women and thus limit their potential dating pool.

I agree it's a bit easier, mainly because you're often not expected to approach, initiate things, etc. But contrary to the popular belief, it is not THAT easy. I mean, it's not enough to be a female to get men want you. Men DO ignore a large proportion of women all the time. So in order to be considered a dating material you have to be on a guy's radar, and you have to do that by either making yourself less invisible (by dressing up, and making yourself "prettier"), or to approach guys yourself (which shy girls don't do). Oh, there's another tactic, which is not recommended: make yourself sexually approachable. If you make it clear you are open for casual sex you will get men approach you no matter how you look like. However, this will usually not bring you a date or a boyfriend and you might ed up being called a slut. So it's a tactic a woman should use only, and only if she craves sex and nothing more.



I think these guys should get out of their comfort zone and socialize. They don't have to go overboard, but just to be there and to try to find friends, both male and female friends. It's very ugly to see guys who only want to socialize with women if they are interested in them sexually or for dating. Why not socializing a bit with people in general. This way, you will build your social skills and, more importantly, you are making friends. Friends can be there for you and they can introduce you to new people.

An alternative is to really think about what you can offer and what kind of a person suits you. People, no matter how socially awkward, tend to go after the more extroverted individuals and those who are in the spotlight, ignoring so many other people. It's not difficult to find a girl who isn't in the spotlight: there are so many shy girls or low key girls around. Just because she isn't popular and on everybody's radar doesn't mean she's ugly, or a bad person, or boring. But since she is a bit socially awkward herself, chances are she will tolerate your awkwardness.

Of course, it's not a rule: a popular girl might find your awkwardness endearing and a shy girl might reject you. But there's a greater chance that less popular people will accept someone's awkwardness.

I agree with this. And it's not about being indiscriminate. The more people you try, the more likely you are to find someone who not only is into you, but who matches what you want as closely as possible.

How do I show interest? I'm pretty blunt, I'll try to talk to her for a bit and if I'm interested I'll say something along the lines of "Hey, I like you. We should hang out, just the two of us." Not too pushy, but I make it hard to misread my intentions.

I find this happens a lot when I "hit on" someone. I usually just say hey, and "I noticed you from across X and I wanted to come over and introduce myself, I'm Chris."

Never worked.

This one time I was at Future Shop and asked the cashier on a date. She said she had "other things planned" that night. I didn't even specify what day or time. Settle down biotch

Don't try to be someone your not ever to impress anyone! Just be yourself, greet the person, ask them about their hobbies and interests then you tell them about your hobbies and interests, don't be afraid to smile but don't be fake smiley about it because that will turn the person off.

I have only one method and it works every time. If I feel something I'm transparent so if someone is impressing me then they can see it in my eyes.

I've been married for 15 years so I can't say I do any of these things any more, but here is what I think (memory gets foggy, you know :; ) I used to do:

1. I wasn't a good flirt, but when you show genuine interest in someone and the things they have to say, that works just as well. And it isn't difficult to do when you are attracted to someone in the right way; suddenly even watching cheese mold can sound fascinating if it comes from someone you really click with. You do have to be careful, though, when you are only interested in what they have to say, but not the person, especially when it seems like something unusual for you to be interested in: they could mistake that for romantic interest.

2. If I could get comfortable enough to let things be natural then, yes, it did work. My problem was that I was so often worried about messing it all up, that I couldn't act natural. My poor hubby on our first date had that problem, of being too worried, but because we had mutual friends who had been whispering in my ear about him for so long, I was smart enough to figure out he was just nervous, and there wasn't anything negative to be read into it.

3. I found that it was much easier in settings that were natural to me, or if I had natural reasons to interact with someone. Big fancy parties or bars proved to be horrible ways for me to meet someone, because I was in "show" mode and not "natural" mode, which never bode well for anything serious coming from the connections I made. I guess did learn how to fake flirt for all that, get guys to ask for my number, etc ... but it wasn't real, you know? And the long term results showed it. Similar with first dates: the more "normal" they were, the better they went.

Now, I may or may not be Aspie, we really don't know (my son is diagnosed), but I did grow up shy, and I also grew up without brothers or cousins and, so, the opposite sex really felt like an alien species to me. Meaning that I think I tended to act pretty Aspie in those potential meet situations.