Is a nice relationship better than a rollercoaster one?

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mv
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19 Dec 2011, 5:08 pm

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

I don't like dramatics, but when I think of a 'nice' relationship I think 'no passion'. No thank you.

^ This. I have to have a healthy relationship, but it absolutely cannot be boring. The boredom relief can't come from drama, though, or I'm out of there.

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19 Dec 2011, 5:10 pm

hyperlexian wrote:

ToadOfSteel wrote:

Trigas wrote:

ToadOfSteel wrote:

I'd prefer a low-drama relationship, thank you very much. Some people may call this boring, I prefer the word "stable"...

Yea I think that's a much better term than "nice." Rollercoaster type emotions are generally a bad thing in my experience although I'm not really the type of person that could keep up with most extreme changing emotions regardless.

The way I see it, relationships are like stars. The hotter they burn, the shorter they last...

20 years was a long time (not forever, but still quite long), and it burned very hot. depends on the people involved, i guess.

Yea she's got a valid point there, I think it's more about how much emotional stress a person can take really.

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TeaEarlGreyHot
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19 Dec 2011, 5:15 pm

mv wrote:

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

I don't like dramatics, but when I think of a 'nice' relationship I think 'no passion'. No thank you.

^ This. I have to have a healthy relationship, but it absolutely cannot be boring. The boredom relief can't come from drama, though, or I'm out of there.

Right. Boring is bad, but passion (the good kind) is definitely something I wouldn't be able to go without.

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TeaEarlGreyHot
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19 Dec 2011, 5:21 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:

Trigas wrote:

ToadOfSteel wrote:

I'd prefer a low-drama relationship, thank you very much. Some people may call this boring, I prefer the word "stable"...

The way I see it, relationships are like stars. The hotter they burn, the shorter they last...

I don't think that's quite true. I'm an intense person, though I don't show it the way most do. I've never had a problem keeping a relationship going that I wanted to be in.

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19 Dec 2011, 5:46 pm

No I guess I couldnt handle a rollercoaster of emotions for very long as I would be a nervous wreck.
It is interesting that you think the people make the relationship what it is. Thinking about that, I would never be screaming and fighting or arguing with a guy in the street because i never get that angry. I also dont lose control enough to do any wild things that would cause extreme emotions as far as Im aware.
So I will aim to look for that stable relationship with the occasional moments of passion as mentioned above as I think that would suit me best.

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19 Dec 2011, 5:55 pm

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

mv wrote:

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

I don't like dramatics, but when I think of a 'nice' relationship I think 'no passion'. No thank you.

^ This. I have to have a healthy relationship, but it absolutely cannot be boring. The boredom relief can't come from drama, though, or I'm out of there.

Right. Boring is bad, but passion (the good kind) is definitely something I wouldn't be able to go without.

I like boring; it's predictable. I have major problems with inconstancy. However I do NOT think a nice relationship automatically excludes passion., I'd like a relationship where we get along like an older married couple who never fights but I'd like to have a lot of passion too but I could manage without if that wasn't an option

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TeaEarlGreyHot
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19 Dec 2011, 6:05 pm

nick007 wrote:

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

mv wrote:

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

I don't like dramatics, but when I think of a 'nice' relationship I think 'no passion'. No thank you.

^ This. I have to have a healthy relationship, but it absolutely cannot be boring. The boredom relief can't come from drama, though, or I'm out of there.

Right. Boring is bad, but passion (the good kind) is definitely something I wouldn't be able to go without.

I'd rather not settle for something that doesn't suit me. Make no mistake, I'm well aware of how every day life is. There are patches in any relationship where there isn't much excitement, but if the passion isn't there at all, I'm done.

I'm not even talking about unbridled passion, either. Small things that let each other know you still think of them regularly is good enough. A gift here and there, a kiss or hug at unexpected moments, a note left expressing your love... these are things I want and need from someone. Things I do.

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nick007
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19 Dec 2011, 6:12 pm

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

nick007 wrote:

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

mv wrote:

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

I don't like dramatics, but when I think of a 'nice' relationship I think 'no passion'. No thank you.

^ This. I have to have a healthy relationship, but it absolutely cannot be boring. The boredom relief can't come from drama, though, or I'm out of there.

Right. Boring is bad, but passion (the good kind) is definitely something I wouldn't be able to go without.

I get that. I think I would be highly passionate if my partner didn't have a problem with that even if she wasn't passionate at all with me; I'd still want to be passionate with her if she was OK with it

deconstruction
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19 Dec 2011, 6:15 pm

I'm sick of rollercoaster relationships. The endless drama, the emotional inconsistency, the jealousy, etc. No thanks.

I want deep commitment, love, compatibility and passion. I don't need a relationship in which I don't feel fullfilled. "Meh" just isn't enough.

But when it comes to the excitement, I want it to come from various activities we do together, and not from me being constantly unsure of his (or my own) feelings, or me be constantly on the edge, never knowing for sure whether he loves me or not, what he wants from a relationship and whether he's faithful or not. I don't want that kind of drama.

So I guess when it comes to the base, I want us to be honest about our feelings and what we want out of a relationship. When it comes to these matters, I don't want any excitement. I don't want games.

When it comes to other aspects of a relationship (doing things together, sex, traveling, etc.) I want it to be exciting and fulfilling.

Hope this makes sense.

mv
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19 Dec 2011, 6:15 pm

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

I think you expressed it beautifully!! !

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19 Dec 2011, 6:18 pm

mv wrote:

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

I think you expressed it beautifully!! !

Thank you. ^_^

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19 Dec 2011, 6:26 pm

deconstruction wrote:

That makes perfect sense to me & I agree with it except I'm not sure about the last part. I don't really like excitement but that does NOT mean it's unfulfilling. I think I want something on a more deeper level than this

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19 Dec 2011, 8:36 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:

I'd prefer a low-drama relationship, thank you very much. Some people may call this boring, I prefer the word "stable"...

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19 Dec 2011, 8:45 pm

deconstruction wrote:

I agree completely with this.

ToadOfSteel
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20 Dec 2011, 11:56 am

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

mv wrote:

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

I don't like dramatics, but when I think of a 'nice' relationship I think 'no passion'. No thank you.

^ This. I have to have a healthy relationship, but it absolutely cannot be boring. The boredom relief can't come from drama, though, or I'm out of there.

Right. Boring is bad, but passion (the good kind) is definitely something I wouldn't be able to go without.

But passion doesn't have to come from being with the other person. That's part of why I want to find a girl with the same interests as me... we can still have the passion for what we do together, without the passion being directed at each other (thereby destroying the relationship).

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20 Dec 2011, 12:04 pm

what is passion? can someone explain what they mean? i don't think i know.

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