Is He Gay or is it Just Aspergers?

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I like your pic!! !! It's very cheering!! !

YES. I spent a month or so believing my current boyfriend was flirting with me (he did things like taking my hand or sitting really close to me when it was cold, things that I don't do with all people) and got really frustrated because nothing else happened. Then I just asked him out and after a while we were together I found out he did like me, but he wasn't trying to flirt at all

It might actually be good for him to be pointed out that his behaviour is ambiguous, because he probably genuinely doesn't know.

Speaking from my personal experience here..
The more I like a female, the more its HARDER to get close to her. I try to go back into my own world, etc. I get shy & even more awkward than usual. It took me months to get up the nerve to reach out & hold her hand. But was rewarding, when I finally did.
I'd second the social drink or two. I usually require this to relax in a bar situation & before trying to converse with any girl(s).

Clearly,
Matthew

It might be hard to tease out if he's gay and in denial or the closet. The only real question is if he's interested in you. Beyond that it's just trivia.

I'm sure there are women who thought I was gay when I was younger. I was simply rigid and unable to progress those types of things. If you push and he likes you, you should get the only answer that matters.

You need to ask him out, in a direct and unambiguous way - "I really like you, romantically I mean. Do you feel the same way at all?"

I have to confess I find your analysis that he might be gay really off the mark, none of the things you mentioned seem to indicate that. Especially not if you sense some interest in you ('hot and cold' - if he were gay, there would be none (like there is none with straight female friends), right?

And I don't, but I am gay.

Well, my girlfriend initially thought I was gay, and I too displayed absolutely no interest in her. In her case, she just expressed her feelings toward me in very direct way and asked me out and it worked, so I think it could work in your case too.....

Play footsies with him under the table and rub your foot up his inner thigh and to his crotch, you'll soon know if he likes you.

I'm pretty blunt so I would just say "I like you, do you want to go out?" I would probably follow that up with something like "If you don't thats ok too, I still want to be friends".

It can't hurt. Even if he is gay (I'm assuming you are female) he will be flattered. If he says he doesn't want to go out, do not ask him if he's gay. If he is gay and isn't ready to come out yet, he won't give you a straight answer anyway, no pun intended. If you remain friends and he's gay then when he's ready he will tell you.