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mv
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11 Feb 2012, 4:45 pm

Unfortunately, Sweetleaf, my bullsh** meter is going off. I think this was his "polite" way of telling you he doesn't want to hang out anymore. My guess? You will not hear from him again or else you will hear something almost-sweet and attempting-to-be-conciliatory tomorrow morning, AFTER he's already spent Saturday somewhere else. You're his back burner plan.

Don't be it. Make him work to hang out with you from now on, if this is indeed the case. I don't normally advocate playing games, but that is all this kind of person understands.



Solvejg
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11 Feb 2012, 4:53 pm

mv wrote:
Unfortunately, Sweetleaf, my bullsh** meter is going off. I think this was his "polite" way of telling you he doesn't want to hang out anymore. My guess? You will not hear from him again or else you will hear something almost-sweet and attempting-to-be-conciliatory tomorrow morning, AFTER he's already spent Saturday somewhere else. You're his back burner plan.

Don't be it. Make him work to hang out with you from now on, if this is indeed the case. I don't normally advocate playing games, but that is all this kind of person understands.



Never ever play games. This is the number 1 thing that pisses everyone off. If you take this advice and he is just busy or has some own stuff (which he has said) you have effectively terminated any chance with him before you get started. I do not know anyone who would put up with this. It would just make you seem neurotic.

Be honest. Don't play games. If you are upset say so. If you are happy, say so. Isn't this what you want in return?


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mv
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11 Feb 2012, 5:00 pm

Solvejg wrote:
mv wrote:
Unfortunately, Sweetleaf, my bullsh** meter is going off. I think this was his "polite" way of telling you he doesn't want to hang out anymore. My guess? You will not hear from him again or else you will hear something almost-sweet and attempting-to-be-conciliatory tomorrow morning, AFTER he's already spent Saturday somewhere else. You're his back burner plan.

Don't be it. Make him work to hang out with you from now on, if this is indeed the case. I don't normally advocate playing games, but that is all this kind of person understands.



Never ever play games. This is the number 1 thing that pisses everyone off. If you take this advice and he is just busy or has some own stuff (which he has said) you have effectively terminated any chance with him before you get started. I do not know anyone who would put up with this. It would just make you seem neurotic.

Be honest. Don't play games. If you are upset say so. If you are happy, say so. Isn't this what you want in return?


Yes, I am now rethinking what I wrote. If it turns out he is just stringing you along, I think you should drop him completely and be sure to explain why. Life's too short.



hyperlexian
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11 Feb 2012, 5:05 pm

ok, so since the posters above me are being blunt, i'll be frank as well.

in my opinion, this guy seems like he's just not that into you, and he's stringing you along. the reason why i am saying this is because i know you spent time with him already and may have even slept with him (if i recall correctly, you stayed overnight or a whole weekend with him, though it may have been another man if i got mixed up). so if he isn't contacting you on a regular basis and seeking to maximise his time with you at this point, it seems like maybe it's time to move on and find someone who can appreciate you.

i think that you deserve to know where his headspace is at, but either way he seems like he is not gonna meet you halfway. he might apologise and briefly make a nice effort, but i think that (if this is a guy you have already been intimate with) you deserve better than this.


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Solvejg
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11 Feb 2012, 5:09 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
ok, so since the posters above me are being blunt, i'll be frank as well.

in my opinion, this guy seems like he's just not that into you, and he's stringing you along. the reason why i am saying this is because i know you spent time with him already and may have even slept with him (if i recall correctly, you stayed overnight or a whole weekend with him, though it may have been another man if i got mixed up). so if he isn't contacting you on a regular basis and seeking to maximise his time with you at this point, it seems like maybe it's time to move on and find someone who can appreciate you.

i think that you deserve to know where his headspace is at, but either way he seems like he is not gonna meet you halfway. he might apologise and briefly make a nice effort, but i think that (if this is a guy you have already been intimate with) you deserve better than this.


Some people need more space then others. My boyfriend and I are overall happy but we don't maximise the time we spend with each other. He may just not be a lovey dovey all over his partner everyday type bloke. Say what you think. Open the lines of communication and dont make speculations before you know.

If you are the type of person who needs constant contact and he isn't then you know now before one of you gets hurt.


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mv
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11 Feb 2012, 5:13 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
ok, so since the posters above me are being blunt, i'll be frank as well.

in my opinion, this guy seems like he's just not that into you, and he's stringing you along. the reason why i am saying this is because i know you spent time with him already and may have even slept with him (if i recall correctly, you stayed overnight or a whole weekend with him, though it may have been another man if i got mixed up). so if he isn't contacting you on a regular basis and seeking to maximise his time with you at this point, it seems like maybe it's time to move on and find someone who can appreciate you.

i think that you deserve to know where his headspace is at, but either way he seems like he is not gonna meet you halfway. he might apologise and briefly make a nice effort, but i think that (if this is a guy you have already been intimate with) you deserve better than this.


This is pretty much what I was trying to say.



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11 Feb 2012, 5:26 pm

Solvejg wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
ok, so since the posters above me are being blunt, i'll be frank as well.

in my opinion, this guy seems like he's just not that into you, and he's stringing you along. the reason why i am saying this is because i know you spent time with him already and may have even slept with him (if i recall correctly, you stayed overnight or a whole weekend with him, though it may have been another man if i got mixed up). so if he isn't contacting you on a regular basis and seeking to maximise his time with you at this point, it seems like maybe it's time to move on and find someone who can appreciate you.

i think that you deserve to know where his headspace is at, but either way he seems like he is not gonna meet you halfway. he might apologise and briefly make a nice effort, but i think that (if this is a guy you have already been intimate with) you deserve better than this.


Some people need more space then others. My boyfriend and I are overall happy but we don't maximise the time we spend with each other. He may just not be a lovey dovey all over his partner everyday type bloke. Say what you think. Open the lines of communication and dont make speculations before you know.

If you are the type of person who needs constant contact and he isn't then you know now before one of you gets hurt.

if it is unequal then one partner ends up without enough contact, and it's unbalanced. really this guy has been pretty rude to not even tell her if he had other plans for the weekend. i'd not put up with that kind of disrespect - there are just too many awesome guys out there who would be happy with having more contact (and who wouldn't leave a person hanging for the weekend).


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Solvejg
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11 Feb 2012, 5:52 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
Solvejg wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
ok, so since the posters above me are being blunt, i'll be frank as well.

in my opinion, this guy seems like he's just not that into you, and he's stringing you along. the reason why i am saying this is because i know you spent time with him already and may have even slept with him (if i recall correctly, you stayed overnight or a whole weekend with him, though it may have been another man if i got mixed up). so if he isn't contacting you on a regular basis and seeking to maximise his time with you at this point, it seems like maybe it's time to move on and find someone who can appreciate you.

i think that you deserve to know where his headspace is at, but either way he seems like he is not gonna meet you halfway. he might apologise and briefly make a nice effort, but i think that (if this is a guy you have already been intimate with) you deserve better than this.


Some people need more space then others. My boyfriend and I are overall happy but we don't maximise the time we spend with each other. He may just not be a lovey dovey all over his partner everyday type bloke. Say what you think. Open the lines of communication and dont make speculations before you know.

If you are the type of person who needs constant contact and he isn't then you know now before one of you gets hurt.

if it is unequal then one partner ends up without enough contact, and it's unbalanced. really this guy has been pretty rude to not even tell her if he had other plans for the weekend. i'd not put up with that kind of disrespect - there are just too many awesome guys out there who would be happy with having more contact (and who wouldn't leave a person hanging for the weekend).


It was mentioned that he may be busy.


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hyperlexian
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11 Feb 2012, 5:56 pm

he said he would let her know either way.


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Solvejg
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11 Feb 2012, 6:01 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
he said he would let her know either way.


He may have been too tired, busy, stressed or he could be off having random wild relations with lots of hot women. We don't know. I know I have forgot to send messages before. I just don't think this means he is a bad bloke or is playing sweetleaf for this. She should just message and ask instead of making assumptions.


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hyperlexian
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11 Feb 2012, 8:07 pm

Solvejg wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
he said he would let her know either way.


He may have been too tired, busy, stressed or he could be off having random wild relations with lots of hot women. We don't know. I know I have forgot to send messages before. I just don't think this means he is a bad bloke or is playing sweetleaf for this. She should just message and ask instead of making assumptions.

well, his mother might be in the hospital, sure. but i don't think being busy or forgetting to send a message would really be an acceptable excuse.


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12 Feb 2012, 12:54 am

mv wrote:
Unfortunately, Sweetleaf, my bullsh** meter is going off. I think this was his "polite" way of telling you he doesn't want to hang out anymore. My guess? You will not hear from him again or else you will hear something almost-sweet and attempting-to-be-conciliatory tomorrow morning, AFTER he's already spent Saturday somewhere else. You're his back burner plan.

Don't be it. Make him work to hang out with you from now on, if this is indeed the case. I don't normally advocate playing games, but that is all this kind of person understands.


Well we'll see, lol he could probably find better anyways like I said.


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12 Feb 2012, 10:55 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
Well we'll see, lol he could probably find better anyways like I said.


Good attitude on the first half, bad attitude on the back half.



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12 Feb 2012, 11:50 am

rabbittss wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
Well we'll see, lol he could probably find better anyways like I said.


Good attitude on the first half, bad attitude on the back half.


nope not even a single text......whatever. Guess i'll give it a couple days, text him in the middle of the week and just straight up ask him what the deal is. Like 'hey, haven't talked to you in a while......I know you had some stuff going on and I hope everything went alright but I'm just wondering if we're going to be hanging out anymore or if you've lost interest if so just let me know and we'll go our seperate ways. But whatever I'll just wait on it......think of how exactly I'm going to word that if I don't hear from him.


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12 Feb 2012, 12:08 pm

mv wrote:
Don't be it. Make him work to hang out with you from now on, if this is indeed the case. I don't normally advocate playing games, but that is all this kind of person understands.


I agree but if he doesn't fancy her or feel extreme attraction, he isn't going to bother working towards anything.



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12 Feb 2012, 12:14 pm

Wolfheart wrote:
mv wrote:
Don't be it. Make him work to hang out with you from now on, if this is indeed the case. I don't normally advocate playing games, but that is all this kind of person understands.


I agree but if he doesn't fancy her or feel extreme attraction, he isn't going to bother working towards anything.


Well the impression I got was that he did.......but never mind that I guess. But yeah if he's not into me that's cool I'd just like to know cause i thought we had something going on but if not I'd like to move on and put it behind me. So all I can do now is try not to stress about it too much.


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