Would love to hear some thoughts on my situation...

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I'm very hesitant to step in between him and his family. Also this particular relative has already spoken to the psych ward staff about her being present at sessions with psychologists, counselors, etc which may make it difficult to voice my concerns should I choose to. This concerns me as well as those are the times that he needs to be talking about how he feels with what has been going on, not for a family member to be putting words in his mouth or trying to steer the conversation to a certain area.

I was also asked by his mother to restrict any contact I have with him from now on. This confused me a lot as the two visits I have had with him have been the first time I have seen him in over a month and the only reason I went in the second time was because he has no shampoo, soap, etc and he needed to be able to wash himself.

So I am wondering how much more distance does she want me to put between the two of us? Especially since I've been his main source of support for quite a while.

I am really unsure if they are really putting his interests first but I feel its not my place to say so or to take action. From what I have seen and heard, his family are quite opinionated and narrow-minded. There are constantly petty arguments between family members and people choosing to avoid each other and all sorts of dramas so I really don't feel any of them are suitable to care for him because everyone has bad days and he is no exception.

And its going to be the bad days he needs their support the most.

I'm going to sound very harsh here & say I think you have a parent/child relationship with him. You are pregnant with your own child who you should be looking after instead of trying to help some physically violent drug user who still believes your his girlfriend; he might be manipulating & playing you

I don't see it that way, hence why I'm asking for the opinions of others, but it is possible things between us are more parent/child-like. I've always encouraged his independence however I was raised solely by my mother so for quite a number of years I was under the impression that the woman does everything in the relationship as there was no one for my mother to share work or domestic duties with. Its a habit I'm constantly working on but its very easy to slip back into the pattern of taking responsibility for everything.

At least I know how to get things done because if I didn't I would be struggling when the baby arrives! So I'm grateful for that right now,

I wouldn't say I'm actively trying to help him, although I can see how it comes across that way. Ideally I just want him to be getting the right kind of help so that I don't have to play a role in his care.
The well-being of myself and the baby is my first priority and I've made him well aware of that. He doesn't seem to cope with change well and I think he may be having trouble coming to terms with our separation. I can only hope this will improve over time.

I doubt he is manipulating or playing me though. I think he is just a very troubled person at the moment and emotionally clinging onto anyone that gives him the slightest amount of support and at the moment that has mainly been me. At several points in our relationship he did just tell me whatever I wanted to hear and I'll admit I believed him for a while. He doesn't seem to be doing that now and I think he understands that he needs to do this for himself and to be a positive influence on the baby. Hopefully things will work out with his family and he will start to rely on them more and not so much on me - preferably not relying on me at all.

**UPDATE**

Apparently he is not able to move in with the relative now. She has already changed her mind in a few days without him even being there. While I feel relieved that he won't be in her home, I don't see why she has chosen to confuse him even more than what he already is.

Now instead of moving him into her home, she is trying to get him into a place close to hers where he will be by himself. He will have to pay rent, bills, etc as with most places. Does his family really not understand that he is going to struggle to live on his own? I should add that this relative is already in her 60s and I doubt there will be much assistance available due to the rural location. She is his only family in that area as well.

When I spoke to him he seemed to think this was ideal as he wants to live by himself. He did say it was his last resort because he would be so far away. Realistically its highly unlikely he will manage to obtain any kind of rental property near me, I am having difficulties getting into any as well and so are a lot of others. Its a very tough rental market here at the moment and there is a very high rate of homelessness and risk of becoming homeless. The rent prices are often very expensive and there is a lot of discrimination involved in the selection process of applicants.
Not only that but he has not coped well previously living on his own but always thinks he will manage just fine - until something upsets him and then instead of paying rent he uses the money on drugs and repeats the cycle again.

I talked to his mother about the supported accommodation and she is looking into it. I believe she is waiting to hear back from a few places. I've spoken to him about it as well and he seemed very hesitant about there being other people living there. I reassured him as best I could but he didn't seem very convinced.

On a positive note he seems to be a lot happier at the moment.

Thats really good that he seems happier and I think very much for the best that he is not moving in with that relative.

Hopefully he will be able to go into the sheltered housing.

thanks for keeping us updated!

Hope you are ok too