Good places for Asperger's men to meet women

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I just looked that up. That's such an awesome idea! Are they prevalent in your neck of the woods, Hyperlexian? Tempted to start my own, since there aren't any around where I live.

Not really... I walk my dogs three times a day (the park is right behind my house), most people are afraid of us rather than friendly... (there was a girl some years ago who did talk to me often, but since then, she stopped bringing her dog to this park because she kept getting too, ahem, filthy - this is what happens when most people don't pick up their dogs' droppings and you have a dog who likes to roll over on the grass)
Not to mention that most people will send their housemaids to walk the dog (and maids have their "exclusive club" at the park, so to speak, they all lie down together in a round and gossip), and others are either parents with their children or old men/ladies with their lap dogs...



In book stores around here you'll only find moms looking for some book their children have to read for school... and I tend to visit book stores about once a week, or at least, once a month, in the worst case. Having learned to read in school (literacy) doesn't mean people like reading, unfortunately. And no, those who go looking for the latest best-seller because they saw it on some TV show don't count...
Libraries? They are a joke around here, my school's library was more complete than the public library, and in some aspects, even than the university's one. Heck, my own private library is probably more complete than most public ones in the country...
And to give you an idea: some years ago they finally opened the new National Library, with state-of-the-art installations... and guess what? They made it an *investigation library*, you can't get inside unless you are a properly credited researcher sent by some institution. And in the meantime, really old books (from the 15th Century, to give you an idea) keep getting stolen nonetheless...
Coffee shops... I can't stand the smell of coffee, and besides, paying 5 times the price of what a coffee cup really costs isn't something I'm willing to do. Honestly, those places are for people who want to pose as "intellectuals" (a term not to be confused with "intelligent" or "smart", it's basically just an excuse to say "no, I don't get my hands dirty, because I work with my brain instead" - too bad their brains aren't up to the challenge, really).


Not the beaches around here, they are crowded hellholes, and the beach sun doesn't give me a tan - I get a pretty bad case of sunburn instead. And the salty water... and the sand getting everywhere... no, thanks. I prefer the country: trees, grass, rivers and lakes... the problem is getting there in the first place.


Unfortunately, that doesn't leave many alternatives for me...

Going to the movies, to the mall, to car shows... unfortunately, most women in such places will be there accompanying their mates. So far I haven't been able to meet any that way.

Taking classes... you'd think getting into TV production classes there would be a fair amount of girls there, but alas, no... and I graduated already after a little over a year. Maybe they have some sort of radar that ells them I'm there or something and they avoid getting nearby.

Going out for a walk I've crossed paths with a girl (I say "girl" because she's probably as few years younger then myself, but I probably should say "woman") several times over the years, unfortunately we're always going in opposite directions (she lives almost at the end of my route, where I turn around, and apparently, I live almost at the end of hers), I've also seen her at the church (which lies more or less halfways) - at the opposite side, since we enter through opposite doors. So, we've never talked, and I have no idea who she is or what she does. And I probably wouldn't know what to say if we ever got to talk, anyway... I'm still trying to figure out the possible outcome.

At the workplace - well, I've always thought it might be too risky, though in later years I've tried to set that aside (heck, my parents did meet at the workplace). But half of the time I'm unemployed or self-employed (like right now) and the other half I'm doing a job which I hate (like that temp job I took last November and December - when they offered me to stay until March I said "no, thanks") or at a place which sickens me (like in late 2009, after they moved us from our original offices to a complete hellhole), I'm still looking for a place where I want to stay and advance my career in the first place... (to think I missed a chance to work at IBM because of my sense of loyalty... they wanted me to start right away, but I didn't think it was right to quit my other job without at least a week's notice)

Last edited by machf on 20 Mar 2012, 2:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

If you ever have to deal with them, just remember...

Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A.

I should, just for the heck of it one of these days, rent a pavilion in the Cleveland metroparks and have an aspie cookout - see how many people I can get together. I know there were at least seven people in my old support group, probably plenty in the Cleveland area that visit WP. It might be neat for networking.

Depends how many of them there are - 30 extra lives may cut it, may not.

Maybe it's like that in the United States but here in the United Kingdom, plenty of young people get involved in charity runs, events or shops. A charity run or an athletic event might be a better place to meet women if you are younger.

It is very possible that many Aspie guys would be very compatible with Aspie girls but I would speculate that those kind of relationships would be harder to get off the ground as the two would have similar issues such as inability to flirt or pick up on signals that someone is interested that would negate a relationship happening . I think anyone interested in an Aspie[even a fellow Aspie] is going to have to be patient and the more assertive party is definitely going to have to make it black and white that they are interested.

Something else; I may be checking out Quirkyalone.com, they sound a heck of a lot like me and I'm curious to see how legit they are. I'll review it for you guys if I can.

I wouldn't promote this simply because it gives out the wrong messages and is somewhat labelling people with an "us" vs "them" mentality.

You get woman who don't have Aspergers (I don't like the term NT) who can accept a man who has Aspergers, just as long as she is clued up about it.

Now when you say about Aspergers couples getting together you seem to miss one VERY big thing with that....they won't know how to show their emotions properly and will eventually depress each other.

In the states the only reason to meet someone in a charity event is if their high school has forced community service hours to graduate.

Anyhow, my original reason to post was to say that one thing im not sure if many here know is where to look for the type of girl you want. If you want a one nighter you wont go to a library, just like if you want a brainy quiet girl you wont go to a club. Is it possible to find one of those in those places? Yes, but its more likely to find them in their common habitat.

That's not necessarily true ''they won't know how to show their emotions and will eventually depress each other''.They may have many similarities so will be much more sympathetic towards each other .

In NT vs. Aspie vs. autistic, my dating range is from NT but interested in Asperger's or autism, up to severely autistic (although able to speak.) I have almost infinite patience for those who cannot decide what to say in "real-time" as far as most conversations go, and I myself do better in writing.

I am an NT and I have NEVER been unfaithful in a relationship and wouldn't consider being unfaithful! It depends on the person, NT or Aspie, and their morals and upbringing.

This ^^^

Yes, exactly but most people on the spectrum aren't suited to a nightclub so someone that likes to go to the library is more likely to be suited to someone on the spectrum. I'm not saying women that go to nightclubs aren't intelligent, I'm sure some intelligent or academic women go clubbing but as you stated, It's not the best place for girlfriend material.

I think nightclubs can be difficult for people on the spectrum because they can cause sensory overload and most nightclub game is based on body language, escalating on the dance floor and social value.

Dude wolfheart.......those are all valid places....but I have a huge problem with going to places specifically to meet girls/meet people.

Its the same thing as the "start talking to everybody" advice.

Nobody should be going anywhere "to meet girls". You go to those places because you are actually interested in bookstores and you like books.

Do you know what I mean?

I feel like if you are going to a bookstore because you know girls are going to be there, your not ready to meet someone......your not ready to date. Am I the only one who thinks this way?

good luck anyone going to those places, signing up to volunteer, going to a place/doing something your not really into with the intent just to meet people.