Okcupid tip- if they ignore you deliberately... ;).

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That's completely pointless. They're just being polite and are trying not to look bad. They really don't care if they ignore you in the first place. You've just made them feel a bit bad. Pointing it out doesn't mean anyone is going to want you any more.

Last week I sent a message to someone that, according to the checkboxes, was physically exactly what I am interested in. Equally, I met all of her criteria. Her actual profile, however, said nothing about her or what she was looking for, beyond the fact that she was "bored and shy" and was looking for a "respectful guy with spare time on his hands that lives within 70km". My message basically said that while we seemed to be a good match based on all those checkboxes, I wanted to know more about her. She read my message, she looked at my profile, she didn't respond. A few days later I saw that she was online so sent her another message, highlighting the part of my profile that says I only contact one person at a time and would appreciate a response even in the negative. Again, I pointed out that, according to the checkboxes, we seemed like a good match but that they really don't say anything about anyone. She read my message. She looked at my profile. She looked at my profile again. She looked at my profile one more time. Then she replied. I excitedly opened the message and was met with invective. Despite the fact that my profile contains phrases like "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" and comments that I am interested in a woman with a brain, she told me that I was extremely superficial and judgemental and that at her age (same as me, 36), she was only interested in herself and couldn't give a damn about what anyone else is doing. Despite my shock, I wrote my usual polite reply in the face of rejection (Thanks for taking the time to respond, best of luck) and found that she had blocked me.

This really hit me for six. I actually lost sleep over her venom and still cannot fathom what prompted it. As near as I can tell, my profile comments that I am not interested in women that are obsessed with fashion, and that celebrity gossip magazines don't count as reading, must have hit a raw nerve because they are the only things that could be interpreted as judgemental. I have decided that her response was not about me at all, but was about her. She's the extremely superficial and judgemental one. It still doesn't change the fact that I was nothing but polite and respectful and she attacked me without reason. What really bites me about this exchange is that she demands respect from people that contact her, but showed anything but in her reply to me. That was simply uncalled for. I have only ever had one other person send me a similar reply and that was about two years ago when I was called a freak and told that I should just kill myself. The others that I have actually been in contact with have either complimented me on my profile or not commented on it either way. I have even had a few women send me messages saying that they weren't interested in me but that they really liked reading my profile and they were certain that I would eventually find someone.

So, that's what I got for sending a message to someone that didn't bother to reply got me.

Two days ago I sent a message to someone else. Again, we match up on the checkboxes, but again her profile contains very little information. She is on my Hotlist and has logged in over a dozen times since I sent the message, including while I have been writing this. She hasn't even bothered opening it yet.

Despite the fact that my profile contains phrases like "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" and comments that I am interested in a woman with a brain, she told me that I was extremely superficial and judgemental and that at her age (same as me, 36), she was only interested in herself and couldn't give a damn about what anyone else is doing. Despite my shock, I wrote my usual polite reply in the face of rejection (Thanks for taking the time to respond, best of luck) and found that she had blocked me.

Now if I do start talking to someone and stop its likely because they started making me uncomfortable or being too pushy and thus making me not want to talk to them anymore. Or maybe I don't know what to say and want to talk later when I have it more figured out.....in which case they should probably be patient rather then start harrasing me for not talking to them right when they wanted me to.

Despite the fact that my profile contains phrases like "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" and comments that I am interested in a woman with a brain, she told me that I was extremely superficial and judgemental and that at her age (same as me, 36), she was only interested in herself and couldn't give a damn about what anyone else is doing.

then just tell him 'i don't want to talk to you anymore' or ' don't want to talk to you till further i change my mind' or 'not now, maybe later' - adding the word sorry doesn't hurt too. I use it a lot when it's appropriate.

Make things clear, girls.

I'm sorry but if someone starts being nasty I'm likely to stop talking to them and block them...its not my responsibility to explain myself to them. Now if I feel they are not aware they are coming off in a way that makes me uncomfortable I will try and explain that and if they can respect it then its not big deal, if the can't then we have a problem.

Like one time someone I started talking to made my uncomfortable by trying to push the relationship issue....and I was not sure how to respond, but I was planning on explaining I was not really interested but would not mind still talking as friends. Well before I was able they started raging at me and calling me a 'b***h' for not responding quick enough so I decided it was better to block them and not have any further contact.

Then in real life I met this guy and gave him my number...I said I would think about hanging out with him to get to know him and text him. Well then he started non-stop texting me telling me how much he missed me, wanted to be with me ect.......even when I said I really don't know you and need to get to know you before I would even consider dating I mean what else was I supposed to do other then stop talking to him?

I'm sorry but if someone starts being nasty I'm likely to stop talking to them and block them...its not my responsibility to explain myself to them. Now if I feel they are not aware they are coming off in a way that makes me uncomfortable I will try and explain that and if they can respect it then its not big deal, if the can't then we have a problem.

Like one time someone I started talking to made my uncomfortable by trying to push the relationship issue....and I was not sure how to respond, but I was planning on explaining I was not really interested but would not mind still talking as friends. Well before I was able they started raging at me and calling me a 'b***h' for not responding quick enough so I decided it was better to block them and not have any further contact.

Then in real life I met this guy and gave him my number...I said I would think about hanging out with him to get to know him and text him. Well then he started non-stop texting me telling me how much he missed me, wanted to be with me ect.......even when I said I really don't know you and need to get to know you before I would even consider dating I mean what else was I supposed to do other then stop talking to him?

Well, that's a totally different case when the guy is at fault.

But on the other hand, I wouldn't tolerate someone ignoring me on purpose just because she had bad experience with some a**holes before.

Btw, two girls that i mentioned in the thread are talking me again, even initiating convos with me.

See , being a little 'ass' works sometimes.

^I edited my previous post

I see that, I feel my point still applies...but I am only trying to point out possible variables not that everything I say necessarily applies to you or your situations.

Yes, you have a point, but why one would be online and available if she doesn't feel to talk?

When this woman (the one i know in real life and later started initiating convos with me) that she's feeling bad and doesn't walk to talk to anyone, I told her "then why are you online and green on msn? MSN messenger is invented for talking".

She burst bit in anger saying things like "you're not funny ! I just want to be online!...etc etc".

I kept corning her - now she's one who's wanting to talk me, even asking me to tell her about my feelings and troubles in life. Ha.

Maybe she really did want to chat but was saying she didn't want to trying to elicit sympathy sense she was feeling bad

I get the occasional butthurt message from guys who's first message to me went ignored. Sometimes they're just new to online dating or whatever, in which case my non-reply is my way of saying welcome to online dating bro