"Sweet" is now my least favorite word

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That's probably why females repeat the words " I am sick of all these lying, cheating, manipulating, males. Why are all men the same?"

( Don't judge a book by it's cover )

Well I'm not a hell's angel so I guess I'm doing something right there. The truth is though I do care about my outward appearance but just in terms of hygiene and decent comforable cloths. And for the most part it works.

The only problem I have is whenever I do anything nice for a girl it's never just "thank you". Its always "awww you're such a sweet guy" which always turns out to be a sudden sign of a lack of interests in me as a person.

Last edited by Zinnel on 02 Apr 2012, 1:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.

"sweet" is a word i would use towards a male friend if he did some really kind things that i did not feel like i deserved because i was not interested in him romantically. (i.e. "you took 2 hours to pick me up at the airport at 3 a.m.... you're so sweet"). i want the person to know i appreciate it, but at the same time i don't know how to take it.

a person's positive acts towards me are never the impetus to start dating them... however, their overall character IS an impetus. what i mean is that their acts towards me are only a small part of their overall self and not the deciding factor. what really matters is my connection to the person, and that includes all aspects of their personality that i can discern. if i do not have a romantic connection to a person, then niceness and charitable acts are not going to turn on the switch. of course... if a person wasn't nice or charitable at all then it is doubtful that i would have a connection to them in the first place.

this is coming out messily, so let me use a product to explain: i want a Samsung product and not an Apple. the salespeople at Apple may be the nicest people ever, the store could be welcoming and warm, and the prices might be awesome, yet if i don't desire their product then all of that is irrelevant. if i desire a Samsung product then i hope that the salespeople are nice and that the store is cool and that the prices are not too bad so i can buy them and live happily ever after. however if these aspects turn out to suck big-time then i will probably shop around for another product... but i still don't want Apple even though they may seem... sweet.

so having positive characteristics is a good thing, but it doesn't supersede chemistry. neither should chemistry supersede those characteristics, though sometimes people do make mistakes and overlook negatives because of attraction.

I'm not sure what point you're making.

I personally never judge a book by it's cover, but I also don't tend to pick up a book with a cover that does not interest me, or worse, disinterests me.

You can't expect people to read a whole book to find out whether it's likely to appeal, there needs to be a hook; good cover, good blurb, good review, reputation, friend recommendation... something

Very much so, you can't expect people to like you because you have a lack of negatives, because you're all smooth surfaces. You can't go through life simply being innoffensive and expect that to be enough to attract someone. At best you won't repel anyone.

I go for sweet. I don't understand what's so wrong with that...

Yeah, that is the thing that bugs me. Its not like I'm inoffensive or show a lack of negatives. Its the fact that the simple act of taking the time to wishing someone happy birthday gets me labeled as a "sweet guy". Even though I'm not even expecting them to like me for that simple act and that all I saw it as was just a simple gesture, but now when there was some chemistry between a girl and I, after such simple act such as the example above I'm just a "friend". It's as if simple acts of kindness are women repellent when they come from me....

acts of kindness do not generally repel women. it's more likely that the women are feeling something more like friend-chemistry, and they do not realise you are interested in something more until you are doing super-sweet stuff for them. you might do stuff like that for ALL your friends but they don't know that.

I heard if you leave it too long you enter "just friends stage". As the other person just sees you as a friend.

I can't really empathize with you too much. I never have like any female friends at all since like before middle school. I think over time I got to be more like...aloof, and generally when you're "aloof" I don't know really. I think also, too, overtime I became a bit more imposing looking.

I think a lot of the problem is my like, lack of empathy (at least on the Simon Baron Cohen scale/definition.) When girls tell me their problems, I tell them what I see are solutions, and don't just go "aww, it'll be all right." Like if they tell me "I don't like this person." I'm like "Well tell them that then, I can't do anything about it." That and I've also been told I tend to talk a lot about myself in conversation, and apparently conversations are supposed to work inverse to that, I never got the hang of asking other people stuff, I usually just expect both sides to talk about themselves and just have the conversation go back and forth talking about ourselves.

Last edited by 1000Knives on 02 Apr 2012, 3:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sweet as opposed to Zinnie-poo?
Surely that is worse?
To be honest though sugar wouldn't work...
Alright sugar? Cheers sugar. See you later sugar... sounds more of a long lasting relationship thing to say.

Me too, bit different. I tried getting the other person to do all the talking. Even with a open ended question they manage to answer it none-open ended. Seems to always back fire. Feel like I am doing all the work. I am a listener more than a talker. Feel like even if I stick my head in a subliminal message book, it still would not get them to talk about themselves.

Edit:- I liked relationships when I was younger they so much better than a adult one. Seems over time people have taken in social manipulation. I noticed it at say 14 or 15 when friends would try & manipulate they friends not to go out with someone. So much more simple then & it was ok to be shy.

well now I know for sure I'm not a nice guy......my genitalia is threatening people all the time

Anyways I don't know maybe I'm over reacting, I mean theres a chance that some of the women who tell me I'm a "sweet guy" are just saying it because they couldn't they could think of anything to say.

Well when I want to find out what something means. I insert it into google. "Sweet Guy".

I only date "sweet guys".
Was dumped pretty recently for being "too sweet" myself, though.