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Letting go of romantic love. Giving up or being realistic?

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hurtloam
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15 Jun 2016, 5:22 am

Even if someone was interested in me I don't think I have the ability to respond properly.

I just don't know what to do in those situations and I don't think I ever will.

I don't think romance is for me.



r00tb33r
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15 Jun 2016, 5:30 am

hurtloam wrote:
Even if someone was interested in me I don't think I have the ability to respond properly.

I just don't know what to do in those situations and I don't think I ever will.

I don't think romance is for me.

Maybe you're much too worried about making a fool of yourself, and then cry about it on an autistic forum? :D

I don't mean it in any negative way (I'm being friendly), but I think it's easy to always end up alone if you keep doing that.



hurtloam
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15 Jun 2016, 5:02 pm

OK that sums me up quite well actually.

It's difficult for me to believe that a guy likes me when I like him too. I just never believe it and then sabotage it with my exterior indifference like a self fulfilling prophecy and tell myself he wasn't interested anyway.



314pe
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16 Jun 2016, 1:03 am

hurtloam wrote:
Even if someone was interested in me I don't think I have the ability to respond properly.

Personally, I think it's much more important to respond rather than to respond properly. If he likes you and sees that you're interested, he won't mind. Be brave!



hurtloam
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16 Jun 2016, 7:37 am

314pe wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Even if someone was interested in me I don't think I have the ability to respond properly.

Personally, I think it's much more important to respond rather than to respond properly. If he likes you and sees that you're interested, he won't mind. Be brave!


Responding at all is difficult. How does someone know the difference between just being friendly and being interested?

I feel like I always make a good effort, but get nothing back. You'd think that going from not much interaction to me talking to the person and inviting him places would signify some interest?? But each time I do this it goes nowhere so I give up and feel hurt that the guy didn't like me as much.



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16 Jun 2016, 7:40 am

I bet you are within a pinky's length of finding a really nice guy, Hurtloam.

I just get that feeling. It's not something that's based upon "evidence" or whatever.



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16 Jun 2016, 10:00 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I bet you are within a pinky's length of finding a really nice guy, Hurtloam.

I just get that feeling. It's not something that's based upon "evidence" or whatever.


Well from everything she has said I would go on a date with her :)


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hurtloam
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16 Jun 2016, 4:52 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I bet you are within a pinky's length of finding a really nice guy, Hurtloam.

I just get that feeling. It's not something that's based upon "evidence" or whatever.


Well The_Face_of_Boo said that to me three months ago about the last guy I liked and we'll we all know how that went.

Nb. I've definitely given up. He's not "the current guy" anymore, he's "the last guy"



kraftiekortie
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16 Jun 2016, 5:17 pm

I just wish you could go bowling with a guy. Maybe you'll change your mind :D



hurtloam
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16 Jun 2016, 5:21 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I just wish you could go bowling with a guy. Maybe you'll change your mind :D


Where am I supposed to find this fabled guy that would actually want to go bowling with me?!?

I mean not Internet guys who live 100s of miles away.



kraftiekortie
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16 Jun 2016, 5:42 pm

If I wasn't married, I'd go bowling with you :D



The_Face_of_Boo
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16 Jun 2016, 5:55 pm

I would ask him for a coffee if I was you as a last resort. He will get it.

Not to a group outing (it's something fr... oh this is a fobidden word on wp), but only you and him.



hurtloam
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16 Jun 2016, 6:14 pm

No, it's too late. It's fizzled out. I'm just feeling hurt and I don't want to see him now. I don't want to get my hopes up and then spend 2 days crying again. My right eye puffed up so badly I could hardly see.



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16 Jun 2016, 6:16 pm

hurtloam wrote:
No, it's too late. It's fizzled out. I'm just feeling hurt and I don't want to see him now. I don't want to get my hopes up and then spend 2 days crying again. My right eye puffed up so badly I could hardly see.

:(


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16 Jun 2016, 7:01 pm

hurtloam wrote:
No, I wish they would just tell me what they're thinkin or what they want.

Given up, but not over yet. I think some people you never really get over.

I was making the point that even when you want to be there for someone and do things for them you can still feel like you don't know what you're meant to be doing or if you're doing it right. It's not about lack of caring.

Well - just sayin' but I feel like you are literally quoting the words RIGHT out of my brain- like you read my mind or something :lol:
That's why it's nice coming on here sometimes- I'm think to myself- oh look that thought I had like the other day- and someone else is posting it on WP 8O How do they know. :mrgreen:

I wondered about that- I STILL- YEARS LATER- seem to obsess over/think about people I haven't seen in years, and I'm like- oh that person was nice- why did I......
Then I think about it and go NOPE .... I just can't do romance... I don't know how anyone does honestly- it just 8O :?
I feel bad for aspie guys... at least as a female... people come up to me I don't do much approaching.
Or sometimes I try and choke on my own words and stare like an idiot. :lol: then slick away in horror and embarrassment.
:roll:



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16 Jun 2016, 7:17 pm

314pe wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Even if someone was interested in me I don't think I have the ability to respond properly.

Personally, I think it's much more important to respond rather than to respond properly. If he likes you and sees that you're interested, he won't mind. Be brave!

REALLY???

I've had about a billion people tell me I don't pick up on romance signals or respond and I'm like WTF are you all talking about.

Actually (and I think this is hilarious) but the only people I've ever really learned "dating advice" and stuff from- is Aspie guys- who tell me up front- you totally missed XYZ thing- and I'm left scratching my head. It's the only/last(?) realm of human interaction where I am utterly clueless- other things I feel like I have a good grasp on.
I'm just like UGH not again. :roll: MORE THINGS to learn :(

I never understand it so Idk- I think I gave up AGES AGO. however, I guess the rest of the world hasn't because I still get lots of discounted or free food/drinks when I go out, then people look at me weird/like with an expression I can't read, and I didn't get it at first, but my friend told me this was supposed to be "flirting" lol- I'm just gonna take her word for it.

I only notice stuff when it's like as direct as humanely possible. :scratch: :huh: