How NOT to pick up a woman

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Maybe she finds him too hot to even look at his face without blushing.

Or maybe she's looking at his boner while thinking "mmm, nice, i would suck this tonight".

Off topic question: minervx, do you have a girlfriend?

if no, how successful you are in the dating realm?

IMO not true. I think that once you have successfully gotten the person's attention, you can quite quickly tell how successful you will be by asking questions about the person. If they seem quite happy to tell you about themselves, and are adding depth to their responses with little prompting from yourself, then you know that they are pleased that you are interested in them and are experiencing a friendly non-threatening vibe. If you also observe a 'coy' smile (I think that is the term I'm looking for) then that indicates that they are well aware of your intentions and you are currently receiving a chance to make a connection and impress her. If after a while she reciprocates the interest and begins enquiring about you, then at least a friendly interest is the established minimum response. If instead her reciprocated interest manifests in a request to meet up later for her to ask you a million questions, while a smile is apparent, you have confirmation of strong interest and you are now on the home stretch...good luck!

(yes, in my experience this is how it works...it is 'odd' for the questioning to be one sided, and that is your signal that you are engaged in a flirtatious exchange)

I haven't met many aspie girls, not knowingly anyway, but my experience there is one of equality, and questions can freely go both ways...a refreshing change that I enjoy

As Ive said to other posters in the past Im happy to hear that this has worked for you.
I seem to be unable to do this whole talk about yourself without tiring them/making them annoyed because it looks too much like an interrogation but if it works for you that´s great.

Heya Spongy,

If you are casual in approaching and be inquisitive, then the response will most times be an honest reply to your approach. Building your confidence through approaching people leads to the ability to do so casually. Being able to accept a response of 'not interested' leads to building of confidence. Rejection is feared when it shouldn't be. Nobody cares a dime about it except when the one rejected does, then others will as well. If you are approached by somebody that you are -really- not interested in romantically/sexually, then you would not be kind by not clearly making your feelings apparent...in an acceptable way of course...and the same can be expected of others. Kinda seems to me you have great fear to overcome, which makes me wish I could play the role of wingman for you...it -is- a game, but one that is nice if both parties keep it that way. If 'games' of this nature truly to your core are of no appeal to you, even considering the potential outcome, then perhaps the aspie world is where you should fish.

Keep in mind also that due to the countless variables that influence an interaction of this type, including but not limited to mood of the individual at that time, personal preference for mates, room temperature, position in ovulation cycle, pressing life demands, previous personal history, preference for scents, genetic compatibility which is subconsciously evaluated, etc (you get the idea I'm sure), many attempts to 'connect' must be made to ensure potential success.

Oh, and this 'game' only turns bad when people clinically evaluate a strategy in order to dishonestly represent themselves in order to gain sexual experiences...if both parties are honest the only harm that can eventuate is from poor behaviour...so yeah, there are pitfalls, but you gotta play to win

I agree that this may have been an unorthodox approach, but stranger things have worked.

My question: What would you have done differently?

Thanks for your explanation and offering to help Guybrush_Threepwood but right now Im trying to focus on becoming a little more social, once Ive reached an acceptable level I´ll consider looking into PUA more deeply.

The people Im hanging out with right now are pretty cool and Im becoming more comfortable around them/learning things day by day but none of the girls would fall for any PUA stuff(extreme christians, nearly killed me yesterday when I suggested that people shouldnt wait until marriage...)

I do need to become more comfortable around strangers and Im trying to do this by putting myself out there at any event Im invited to since I always meet new people.

Id like to be able to gather up the courage to do this around a stranger eventually but right now Im trying to work on becoming more confident around people. I know its all a trial and error process but I think becoming more comfortable around people can help a lot so Im giving it a chance

ikr?

If your intention is to 'pick up', you've already failed miserably. You're basically forcing yourself on another human being, 'things' happen organically, at least in my experience they do, and that's how I like it.

Reading the OPs Post... would work as a One Night Stand.

It's not that it was strange and unorthodox.

It was just the opposite, boring dull and uninteresting.

What I would do?

1. Compliment, but not flatter too much. Praise, but not act so desperately about it.

2. Not pelting one question after the other, but instead holding a discussion about one question. Or at least making the questions deeper and open-ended. Transition the conversation from something simple to something more engaging.

3. If I do all of the initiating and she does not give me much eye contact, I would politely end the conversation without asking for her contact info or having any expectations.

Or maybe she's an Aspie.
Or maybe she's an NT who isn't big in eye contact.
Or maybe she was just focusing on what she was doing on the comp while listening to him like multitasking.

I agree with this post completely.



Actually it works to bend but not break the truth .. sorry

You guys are overthinking this somuch from what the OP says. A guy tried too hard to flatter a girl in a place where she was busy. She didnt shoo him off but he persisted on trying to have a conversation even if it was one way only. Simple as that. No PUA, no relationship, nothing more than that. Shell likely delete him from facebook in a week

He didn't get rapport so it failed and should been aborted way earlier. Better to try a better opportunity then getting stuck with a dud.

exactly