My crush doesn't want me.

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hyperlexian
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20 Apr 2012, 12:48 am

Wolfheart wrote:

Personally I think you should verbally confront her about the words in her diary, challenge her on it and be assertive, that will soon show her that you are not someone that takes abuse.

If she's willing to the stab you in the back, she should be willing to stab you in the front, do you really want someone who is a gossiper?

how did she abuse him? he had no right to read that.

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Inyanook
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20 Apr 2012, 12:49 am

hyperlexian wrote:

how did she abuse him? he had no right to read that.

This.

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Wolfheart
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20 Apr 2012, 12:56 am

hyperlexian wrote:

Wolfheart wrote:

how did she abuse him? he had no right to read that.

She abused him by withholding information and gossiping, she should have been more forthcoming in her rejection otherwise she could end up framing this guy as a stalker for simply being attracted to her.

hyperlexian
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20 Apr 2012, 1:08 am

Wolfheart wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

Wolfheart wrote:

how did she abuse him? he had no right to read that.

how do we know he is not a stalker? i mean, probably not, but you're jumping to conclusions.

nobody owes anyone else an explanation when they are rejected. it is not abusive to simply ignore someone who persists. he already knew how she felt, but kept pursuing her anyways.

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Wolfheart
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20 Apr 2012, 1:12 am

hyperlexian wrote:

Wolfheart wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

Wolfheart wrote:

how did she abuse him? he had no right to read that.

Did she make it direct to him or was she simply leading him down the garden path because she liked the attention? We don't know enough information from what the thread creator has posted. If she did make her feelings clear and he continued to persist, it is probably his fault.

If I look at it from her perspective, it might be difficult to reject a person if they come across as a stalker as they may lash out in a passive aggressive manner and if she is a petite girl that is worried about a response, I could understand why she might withhold certain information or how she really feels about him.

hyperlexian
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20 Apr 2012, 1:16 am

he knew that she was creeped out by him. it's what he said in the OP.

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CrinklyCrustacean
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20 Apr 2012, 1:23 am

hyperlexian wrote:

how do we know he is not a stalker?

Innocent until proven guilty.

Wolfheart
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20 Apr 2012, 1:23 am

In any case, this makes a good point that people on the spectrum shouldn't become emotionally attached or obsessed too easily and need to break away from that fall hard, fall fast mentality.

hyperlexian
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20 Apr 2012, 1:29 am

CrinklyCrustacean wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

how do we know he is not a stalker?

Innocent until proven guilty.

we have only his words (on this thread and on others in the past).

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Kinme
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20 Apr 2012, 2:00 am

I come back and there's a ton of posts. :0 Lots of us really do become obsessed with our crushes/relationships. It's so tough to figure out when you're being too clingy/obsessive, because it's what we are used to in our special interests and most of our lifestyle in general.

The_Face_of_Boo
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20 Apr 2012, 5:00 pm

Kurgan wrote:

You're only 18. It gets easier once you've passed 20.

Hm, not really, not for me at least.

But again, I am not the most emotionally-blossomed 30 years old person, so maybe this is right for most cases.

CrinklyCrustacean
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21 Apr 2012, 1:29 am

hyperlexian wrote:

CrinklyCrustacean wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

how do we know he is not a stalker?

Innocent until proven guilty.

we have only his words (on this thread and on others in the past).

My point was that the onus is on you to prove that he is a stalker, not on him to prove that he isn't. I don't know, for example, that you aren't an axe-muderer. Should I be cautious that you might be?

Last edited by CrinklyCrustacean on 21 Apr 2012, 1:33 am, edited 1 time in total.

hyperlexian
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21 Apr 2012, 1:32 am

CrinklyCrustacean wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

CrinklyCrustacean wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

how do we know he is not a stalker?

Innocent until proven guilty.

we have only his words (on this thread and on others in the past).

My point was that the onus is on you to prove that he is a stalker, not on him to prove that he isn't.

i didn't say he was a stalker. but in some of his past posts he said he might be considered one. i have no idea if he is or not, but i don't see why it should be ruled out if he isn't even sure himself.

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Adam82
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21 Apr 2012, 1:59 am

Kurgan wrote:

You're only 18. It gets easier once you've passed 20.

Really, I still haven't had a GF and I still get crushes, and I'm nearly 30.

jhighl
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21 Apr 2012, 8:09 am

lol i have had one girlfreind and i am 21.. lol a lil easier but still a pain in the arse

Kurgan
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21 Apr 2012, 8:25 am

Adam82 wrote:

Kurgan wrote:

You're only 18. It gets easier once you've passed 20.

Really, I still haven't had a GF and I still get crushes, and I'm nearly 30.

Have you ever tried to get a girlfriend? A woman in her late 20's (with some exeptions) doesn't usually care how "cool" you are, whether you're friends with night club owners or whether your rich parents buy you a BMW. They're a lot more mature than teenage girls.

Never let a girl string you along with the "let's be friends instead" crap, if she just wants to use you to vent all her problems, then cut contact and try again with a new girl.

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