Please! Show me how I am a crazy B&^^tch! Just believ in

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myth
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24 Apr 2012, 9:09 am

Well then it definately seems like you need to think about moving on.

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Who_Am_I
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24 Apr 2012, 9:10 am

mellisamouse wrote:

Sweetleaf wrote:

Well judging from what I read...it seems like he was trying quite calmly to explain to you, that he felt you where kind of pushing your opinion which was getting to him so he wanted you to back off and leave it alone....but you kept pushing and pushing, so he tried to explain his perspective only to have you continue to say how you're right and he's wrong only making him more frusterated. Maybe he wanted to move on from the topic because he did not feel like arguing...and didn't want to say anything you would take offense to but you forced it out of him anyways and still got offended.

Maybe you are right and i don't see it.... after listening to someone complain for a year and a half that they are cursed and nothing ever works for them, I guess I have given up on this conversation with him,...... I am tired oif hearing F the world, and then cleaning up after his consequenses every time it back fires on him....

So stop cleaning up the consequences. Let him experience the results of his own actions.

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Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I

The_Face_of_Boo
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24 Apr 2012, 9:20 am

Boy: :mad:

Girl: :roll:

Boy: :mad:

Girl: :roll:

Boy: :mad:

Girl: _|_ -__ - _|_

Sweetleaf
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24 Apr 2012, 9:31 am

mellisamouse wrote:

Sweetleaf wrote:

mellisamouse wrote:

Sweetleaf wrote:

Well have you ever looked into why they are complaining about that? maybe he really feels like nothing ever works for him, in which case anyone would be frustrated if they felt like that.

Yes, nothing every works for him,,, almost every single time I can see things working out for him, he self sabatoges by telling people to go f themselves, right when they are trying to hand him something on a silver platter.... and then he complains how everything works out for everyone but him........ he plays the victom role, attacks people who wanna help, and sabatoges .... the classic victom.

His pride and ego have cost me THOUSANDS of dollars and I am not paying for his fight against the world anymore...

Well can you give an example, and maybe he doesn't want what's being handed to him on that silver platter, I mean are you sure these are examples of things working for him, or are they more things that would work for you? I mean if he's just being an as to everyone in general and then complaining when it bites him in the ass I can see why that would be frusterating and would probably recommend you end the relationship as soon as possible.......But if he is simply fruserated with things not working out, and unhappy with how things are and has maybe even been mistreated by others then I don't think that would be a pride or ego issue but maybe have to do with mental health issues and a bad environment.

But if it doesn't work out it doesn't work out.

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Sweetleaf
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24 Apr 2012, 9:37 am

mellisamouse wrote:

myth wrote:

1.

3. Even if he really does think "F the world - I hate everyone" I don't think it is correct to assert that your viewpoint is right and his is wrong. Maybe yours is more likely to produce sucess and "F the world" is more likely to produce bitterness... but when he says "can't you just let me be me" you should learn to respect that. If you can't deal with his attitude, finding a new boyfriend would be a more logical step than trying to change him. People should be able to share viewpoints without arguing (and trust me I've dated plenty of people who think an opposing viewpoint = argument) but once again, if that's the way he sees things your conversation style may not be compatible. I like debates and I need someone who can handle that and not consider it a personal attack. You may need the same thing.

This really seems like a simple misunderstanding but I am also seeing some potential conversation style incompatability.

I would, and have respected it for a year and a half, and it has cost me thousands of dollars, many friends, and I am now completely isolated from the world because of it... I just want MY carefree happy go lucky life back, with out Rambo wrecking everything anymore and me picking up the peices and paying his way after he wrecks things.... his "FU's, have cost me nearly $20,000 now, while he sits back, not working, and playing video games.... can't clean up that mess any more..

Well yeah that does sound frusterating, and if you can't deal with that then you can't deal with it...hopefully he can understand that. But it might be best to move on otherwise it's probably unhealthy for both of you since you feel stressed and can't live the life you want and he might feel like your nagging and judging him....I mean it could be its just not meant to be. not sure if that's what your wanting to hear, though it seems you are fed up and already considering moving on.

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myth
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24 Apr 2012, 9:38 am

BTW: I'm not someone with a "Eh we disagree... leave him" attitude. I've always thought that ANYTHING could be worked out if two people tried hard enough.
However, I have learned in life that there IS such a thing as incompatibility and it is really sounding to me like your two philosophies on life, ways of dealing with things, responsibility levels, and communication styles may possibly be incompatible.
It takes a very honest person to be able to step back and evaluate such things.

Also, a key point of my original philosophy above is that BOTH people need to work hard at it. No one person can keep a relationship together when the other isn't trying.

I had a very irresponsible first husband who would get upset any time we had any sort of conversation resembling a debate and would lash out at me with insults and profanity in some sort of defense of his percieving that I was attacking him. I spent quite some time trying to hold his and my own life together financially while he played video games and hung out with his friends and verbally abused me any chance he got. It is better to be single than in a relationship like that. A partner is supposed to HELP you, not give you more responsibility. I am extremely glad I was finally able to get out from that relationship. It was very, very hard. My second husband and I go through hardships too, but the relationship dynamic is very different.

Just some things for you to think about. You can PM me if you'd like, I feel like I know what you are going through.

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mellisamouse
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24 Apr 2012, 9:47 am

Well, I asked him to leave yesterday after he told me to f-off for asking for a ride after spening $35 on yet another new video game for him.... he had some fake epiphony and asked me for another chance. Then when he gets to his moms after a 5 hour drive he tells me to F the world again, so I just felt like it was futile, and for the first time in a year and a half I get to spend my WHOLE cheque on me and my son, instead of 3/4 on him, and a quarter for me and my son.... we can finally buy socks tomorrow... :S

I try to let him go, and he refuses to let me break up with him.... I just don't wanna give him another chance because I think it is true... we are WAYYYY to incompatible, and I can't pay his way anymore.... every time he gets money he buys a new game, an exbox, a flatscreen tv, or weed..... while most of my money goes to feeding him, and paying all of the bills... he hasen't paid rent or a bill since we met..... tired of feeling used.

mellisamouse
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24 Apr 2012, 9:52 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Boy:

Girl:

Boy:

Girl:

Boy:

Girl: _|_ -__ - _|_

lol.... SOOOOO true Boo!

Sooooo true!

mellisamouse
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24 Apr 2012, 9:57 am

myth wrote:

I had a very irresponsible first husband who would get upset any time we had any sort of conversation resembling a debate and would lash out at me with insults and profanity in some sort of defense of his percieving that I was attacking him. I spent quite some time trying to hold his and my own life together financially while he played video games and hung out with his friends and verbally abused me any chance he got. It is better to be single than in a relationship like that. A partner is supposed to HELP you, not give you more responsibility. I am extremely glad I was finally able to get out from that relationship. It was very, very hard. My second husband and I go through hardships too, but the relationship dynamic is very different.

Just some things for you to think about. You can PM me if you'd like, I feel like I know what you are going through.

So true... I can't take the verbal abuse any more either.... the B word, the C word..... he has put holes in all my walls because I want to buy bread and cheeze instead of a new game for him... etc.... his temper scared me into staying for this long I think..... I actually think I faked saying he could have another chance, just to get him to finally leave this time....

I feel like 10 toddlers would be easier to take care of.... financially AND emotionally... :S

Sweetleaf
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24 Apr 2012, 10:13 am

mellisamouse wrote:

Alright well your last posts have made things more clear...he does kind of seem to be taking advantage so I'd probably move on if I were you, I mean why should he get to have all the fun wile you're taking care of all the responsibilities and then sit around and complain about how horrible life is.......I can see why that would be frusterating. Also keep in mind he has no right to not let you break up with him.....I mean id hope he would have the decency to respect that.....but if not you might have to get the authorities involved.....but I really hope it wouldn't escalate to that. But if he flat out refuses to leave I would probably advice getting the help of the cops though typically I do not like to get them involved with anything but I don't see how else you would get him out.

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mellisamouse
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24 Apr 2012, 10:20 am

Thanks Sweet leaf... I need to be firm....

I really have tried to end this over and over.

He basically makes me feel like no one else would ever want me, and so I am lucky to have him.... I know it is not true, but emotionally, he snags me back every time with this emotional blackmail... :S

Sweetleaf
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24 Apr 2012, 10:29 am

mellisamouse wrote:

Yeah that's manipulation for sure on his part...but yeah I imagine that can make things pretty difficult, but yeah you have to try and be firm about it...because he'll probably look for any little cracks in the firmness that he can insert more of his emotional black mail into to get what he wants. So you have to try and make sure there is nothing there for him to work with.

But yeah if he's actually doing any physical harm or anything thats putting you in direct danger, I would recommend either telling a supportive friend or family member or maybe looking into local resources to help with things like that.

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myth
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24 Apr 2012, 12:22 pm

That is exactly what my ex husband used to say to me. He literally told me once that the only reason that he was still with me was because, and I quote, "Because I'm the only one who can still stand you."

But guess what? He was wrong. I did find someone else who loves me more than he ever did. I won't tell you that it wasn't hard to walk away or that it didn't scar me emotionally do this day.. but I did it. I actually had to move out myself even though the apartment was in my name and I knew that he couldn't afford it on his own. He wouldn't leave so I left. I got the lease changed over and I left. And he moved back in with his mother within 2 months because, big surprise, he couldn't afford the place on his own. But that's just the way it works. I know how hard it is... believe me. But you can do it. And your life will be better.

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mellisamouse
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24 Apr 2012, 1:59 pm

myth wrote:

I does hurt..... it hurts like nothing else ever..... this pain is unbearable, though logically I know it is the only way to stop the constant torture.... I have known for over a year that this relationship is unhealthy for me... and in the long run I will heal and be better... but it still hurts.

I still hear all of the promises he makes, and part of me wishes they were real, but my head knows better... they are all lies. like every other promise he broke....

Only time will help I guess.

mellisamouse
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05 Jan 2013, 1:13 pm

This woman is AMAZING!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

This is exactly what I was trying to say..... about how positive attracts positive etc...... <3

Wow So inspiring to REmember, and be REminded......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tg7DtfY8 ... mUU5t_tBbB

wtfid2
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05 Jan 2013, 3:24 pm

someone needs to lay off of the meth and it's not ''him''( i didnt reads the op)

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