Why do I only get friendship?

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i think what he meant was that it wasnt his intention but just how things played out

in some cases this what happened, in other cases it was not (like really wanted to be just friend of an x group from the beginning)

Well Boo some of the girls weren't in completely female-only groups and in all honesty I don't think it was going to be by my own self being an attraction to any of them than it being completely and utterly creepy for them to want to know me at the time. Most of those weren't friends and I think it may be that they would rather have me at arms length.

I don't get this...

Some of the women I knew were also in unisex groups also, not just the women only groups.
I doubt that any of them would have found me attractive in what they desired. Some of them considered me rather creepy so they'd rather keep me at arms length for their own personal space.
Actually I noticed that one thought I was okay but another found me rather odd when I look back.

Females in the "unisex" groups would most probably function in the same way as I described on the first page here. If you want to enter a unisex group it would then befriend their males first.

Well is it also wise when in the female only groups to befriend the ones that are noticeably taken or married as it's hardly going to be them in all honesty.

I dunno but it's definitely better than entering the group by befriending your target.

Duh! How many times is it said not to befriend someone you have feelings for... It's almost elementary for so many people...

looking back to when i was younger... i hate to use a pop reference, but the situation with Elaine on Seinfeld about nails it. if a female or male was in a group that was wholly composed of the opposite gender, it was usually because they entered the group as a partner of one person, then stayed part of the group after they broke up. sometimes the person went on to date someone else in the group (or the entire group, one at a time).

to the OP's original question, i have no idea why it is happening to you, but the more social outlets you have, the better chance you have for finding someone to date. so having a bunch of friends is likely to help.

on the topic of dating 30 years ago... in some ways rape/violence was a bigger concern due to lack of cell phones and background search tools (i.e. google). but people usually met their partners in the same ways that they do now, in person at a familiar shared location (like work, school). there were personals in the paper but they were not commonly used. in some ways it would be harder back then for a person who struggles at making a good first impression.

Omfg, hyperlexian has said something which is almost equal to what i said on the first page!


So....from Canada to Middle east, this social phenomenon seems to be universal.

Omg... we're all agreeing with each other. =P

is it supposed to be the end of days yet?

Would you not need someone who is a mutual friend anyway?
I get the whole social outlet and being with friends but even so you would need a friend who is also a good friend of the woman that is the target... as such.

well sure, but once you get to know a person better, you also get to meet some friends. one of them might turn out to be perfect for you

The whole, you'll find someone bullsh!!. speech. Ive' certainly heard that many times. I think for me, it's not that some of my female friends wouldn't want to date me but that they already are dating someone else. I'll admit if they gave me that speech while they were single, I'd let them have it.