Girls see me in wrong way

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hyperlexian
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18 May 2012, 2:40 am

AussieMatty wrote:

Hey.

I always come to the certain point of making friends with girls from classes due to respect of similar interests and the like. I always get told me 'I am not interested in a relationship' after second or third time of seeing each others in general from uni classes and that etc. It makes me so frustrated about it, because I never considering a relationship. I am considering a friendship, pretty much how I interact with the guys. I treat everyone in similar respect and manner.

Few people told me I need to get rid of the vibes. But I am confident in talking to people in general. So how the girls always get an idea of me going after for a relationship? My approach is just normal. Like hello how are you going and stuff etc. Talk about what things we do, how was the day, week, weekend etc, also talk our backgrounds and stuff etc. At end, not at first time we seemed that good in conversation and that we can get contacted by FB. So I told them my FB name so they can add me. However, what seemed that they never added me since we chatted. Adding as a friend on FB doesn't mean a relationship at all.

It upsets me so much about it! Even since I am having difficulty with making relationships with a girl, I only had one girlfriend. Very different case, because she was desperate. However, I am not good with girls. They see me as a nice guy, mature and that etc. But they always see me as a desperate guy as looking for a girlfriend. But I NEVER HAVE ANY INTENTIONS TO FIND A GIRLFRIEND!! I just wow, am I cursed to this stupid immature issue from uni girls? Why me?

you have said extensively on the forum that you are looking for a relationship. have you decided to stop looking?

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AussieMatty
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18 May 2012, 5:09 am

I have guy friends as well. Why not I wouldn't have female friends at all? My guy friends do have female friends, so why not me?

I wasn't really looking for a relationship, I was making sure if it going to happen in my life. There an example of you seeing me in wrong way, since you are a women. That is one example.........See?

But I don't talk to girls about relationships in my concerns at all. Its way different than talking to here on WP.

Tonight I played volleyball with Spanish people, and there is a new girl came. First year of uni. We talked, got numbers traded. Didn't talk inappropriate and stuff. I can see her facial expression is happy. That is reflection of my attitude. So that how I meet girls, hopefully this one does not see me in wrong way. Hopefully! I am so sick and tired about it.

ValentineWiggin
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18 May 2012, 5:26 am

HG;CR

Horrible grammar; can't read.

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spongy
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18 May 2012, 5:28 am

Have you considered telling them that you are not looking for a relationship either?(according to what you said on this thread you arent)
It might help

ToughDiamond
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18 May 2012, 5:36 am

AussieMatty wrote:

I have guy friends as well. Why not I wouldn't have female friends at all? My guy friends do have female friends, so why not me?

I just thought it might help you to find out if your difficulties are because they're opposite-sex, or if it's something else. If you do OK with men, it must be a gender thing. If you're not looking for a relationship, hanging out with women can bring its own complications, in my experience.

Quote:

Tonight I played volleyball with Spanish people, and there is a new girl came. First year of uni. We talked, got numbers traded. Didn't talk inappropriate and stuff. I can see her facial expression is happy. That is reflection of my attitude. So that how I meet girls, hopefully this one does not see me in wrong way. Hopefully! I am so sick and tired about it.

Well done! But any woman who is willing to trade numbers with me so quickly, I'd suspect that she was interested in me, in more than just a platonic way.

JanuaryMan
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18 May 2012, 6:22 am

Seeks relationship in board, doesn't seek one for sake of conversation.
Doesn't seek relationship with women, makes big deal they aren't talking to him.
Is pleased one girl gave him his number so soon, doesn't notice the unusual pace of this exchange (considering not seeking a relationship).
Doesn't need help cos is perfect, asks for help with problem they are having anyway.
Listens to women, gets a bit touchy with the guys (esp. if they are giving advice for non existent problem we are discussing).
Girls are nice if they talk to you, immature if they reject you or bring up the bf and have other guy friends.
Asks for advice, defends their character and actions in every possible way thus voiding any need for advice.

So, Matt, would you say you are a nice guy? :lol:

JanuaryMan
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18 May 2012, 6:25 am

spongy wrote:

Have you considered telling them that you are not looking for a relationship either?(according to what you said on this thread you arent)
It might help

Yes. If you are discussing something you can be witty and say "that's nice, but I don't know what it's got to do with (topic)" or "ah that's cool, I'm not really looking anyway". If you are silent or "oh.." or "anyways...!" it would be hard for them to tell otherwise. Remember, women talk as well. So if this happens with one girl, it's gonna be passed on to their friends and you could earn a rep for approaching girls to ask them out (even if it's not your intention).

AussieMatty
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18 May 2012, 6:58 am

This get much clearer and clearer from one post to another.

So she did messaged me before. She understood how my intentions of meeting and approach her from volleyball. She totally understand and say should be good friends.

She said:
"Oh no worries. I can see we should be just friends. It was good to meet you tonight, it was fun".

I never had this sort of situation before. She is younger than me, and surprisely mature. What make is more interesting is we are studying in same degree which is environmental science. She is in her first year, and I am forth and final. That could be a good trigger?

McAnulty
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18 May 2012, 7:11 am

I didn't mean to imply you were dumb, I'm sorry if you took it that way. I was just trying to help with what limited knowledge I had of how your encounters actually play out vs your perception of them.

hyperlexian
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18 May 2012, 12:42 pm

hyperlexian wrote:

AussieMatty wrote:

you have said extensively on the forum that you are looking for a relationship. have you decided to stop looking?

^^^

did you stop looking for a relationship?

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AussieMatty
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18 May 2012, 9:09 pm

AussieMatty wrote:

I have guy friends as well. Why not I wouldn't have female friends at all? My guy friends do have female friends, so why not me?

I wasn't really looking for a relationship, I was making sure if it going to happen in my life. There an example of you seeing me in wrong way, since you are a women. That is one example.........See?

But I don't talk to girls about relationships in my concerns at all. Its way different than talking to here on WP.

Tonight I played volleyball with Spanish people, and there is a new girl came. First year of uni. We talked, got numbers traded. Didn't talk inappropriate and stuff. I can see her facial expression is happy. That is reflection of my attitude. So that how I meet girls, hopefully this one does not see me in wrong way. Hopefully! I am so sick and tired about it.

I answered your post hyperlexian......

hyperlexian
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18 May 2012, 9:13 pm

AussieMatty wrote:

I answered your post hyperlexian......

i don't understand. you've mentioned many many many times on WrongPlanet that you are wanting a girlfriend and you are depressed that you don't have one. are you getting FB details and phone numbers from attractive women or ones you find UNattractive?

i am not misunderstanding because i am female, i am misunderstanding because you said something completely opposite only a couple of weeks ago.

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AussieMatty
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18 May 2012, 9:44 pm

hyperlexian wrote:

AussieMatty wrote:

I answered your post hyperlexian......

I do want one, but not in the way of desperation and that. I wanted to know it is true to get one for me? Neither attractive or not. They are average looking, but still good though.

hyperlexian
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18 May 2012, 9:47 pm

AussieMatty wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

AussieMatty wrote:

I answered your post hyperlexian......

I do want one, but not in the way of desperation and that. I wanted to know it is true to get one for me? Neither attractive or not. They are average looking, but still good though.

perhaps you might want to think about how you have made friends with men, and use a similar approach with women who you want to be friends with. you might be approaching them in a way that seems to imply dating.

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Joker
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18 May 2012, 10:53 pm

I had this problem as well in school girls saw me as a hoodlum and a thug because I acted like a hoodlum and a thug when I stopped actinng like one and had a new set of friends they stopped viewing me as one problem sovled.

BTW I do not understand how to use grammar and punctuation. But I am good at fighting and wrestling

hyperlexian
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18 May 2012, 11:07 pm

put a period between each new idea or statement, like this:

Joker wrote:

I had this problem as well in school girls saw me as a hoodlum and a thug because I acted like a hoodlum and a thug.

^^^this part was all about how girls in school thought you were a hoodlum and a thug.

Joker wrote:

When I stopped actinng like one and had a new set of friends they stopped viewing me as one.

^^^here you are talking about something new - how you changed your behaviour.

Joker wrote:

Problem sovled.

^^^you would also turn this one into a new sentence because it's a phrase that wants to stand out.

Joker wrote:

BTW I do not understand how to use grammar and punctuation. But I am good at fighting and wrestling

this was perfect.

i get the feeling your mind thinks very quickly so it's hard for you to stop and punctuate. but if you think of writing it with each new thought having it's own "room" that is walled by a capital and a period (instead of writing like it is a continuous hallway), it may work for you.

like this made up sample:

WRONG wrote:

I like men and women men and women are fun to go on dates with i get along with them best when I am not a thug or hoodlum

it can be broken up according to each new idea or thought:

one thought:

fixed wrote:

I like women and men.

new thought:

fixed wrote:

Men and women are fun to go on dates with.

new thought:

fixed wrote:

I get along with them best when I am not a thug or hoodlum.

revised:

CORRECT wrote:

I like women and men. Men and women are fun to go on dates with. I get along with them best when I am not a thug or hoodlum.

st first, it works best to start with short sentences.

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