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What do the rest of us do?

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invisibubble
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22 May 2012, 7:04 am

rabbittss wrote:

I do go to classes, I get taken two days a week and dropped off at a community college which is a 35 minute drive each way. But the bulk of the people there are fresh out of high school and most of them don't want anything to do with me once they realize how old I am.



Surely you're not the only one attending the college that isn't a school leaver. Have you considered starting a group for mature age students (that's what we call them in Australia)? It doesn't have to be a daunting undertaking - you could just put a note on a noticeboard for anyone to email you if they are interested in joining a club to meet other mature aged students. If you get enough replies then just organise with the college to book a meeting room and invite everyone to turn up. Maybe come with some discussion topics to give everyone something to get started talking about. If you organise the time and venue you can probably leave it up to the more dominant personalities to lead in the social stuff.



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22 May 2012, 8:02 am

invisibubble wrote:
rabbittss wrote:

I do go to classes, I get taken two days a week and dropped off at a community college which is a 35 minute drive each way. But the bulk of the people there are fresh out of high school and most of them don't want anything to do with me once they realize how old I am.



Surely you're not the only one attending the college that isn't a school leaver. Have you considered starting a group for mature age students (that's what we call them in Australia)? It doesn't have to be a daunting undertaking - you could just put a note on a noticeboard for anyone to email you if they are interested in joining a club to meet other mature aged students. If you get enough replies then just organise with the college to book a meeting room and invite everyone to turn up. Maybe come with some discussion topics to give everyone something to get started talking about. If you organise the time and venue you can probably leave it up to the more dominant personalities to lead in the social stuff.


It isn't that sort of university. This is a commuter college, people don't hang around, they go to class and then they leave. Theres not even a student union center or anything.



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22 May 2012, 8:25 am

rabbittss wrote:
1000Knives wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
1000Knives wrote:
Well, the cheaper suggestion than moving is get a car. Besides that, not much really, if you live in a "toxic" community, full of people you'd probably not want to be with anyway.


I tried that, and wasn't any good at it, I think I'm being responsible by not driving..


Well if you get overloaded too much while driving, make sure to have some stimulants handy, and also don't have other people with you in the car as much as you possibly can. But, you gotta do it if you wanna be successful in this country. Otherwise your only answer is moving to a country with lots of public transport.


Yeah basically, I'm screwed, and I know it.


I'm never going to be able to learn how to Drive, because I don't try things a second time when they are safe, but cars kill more people in the US every year than guns do.


cars and guns dont just kill people. Idiots using cars and guns do



invisibubble
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22 May 2012, 8:27 am

That sure makes it hard. Don't think we have that type of set up at all here. There's always somewhere you can meet people on our campuses - even the small ones. Well, I hope that you'll have some students closer to your age in some of your future classes. I'm currently studying with mainly school-leavers - I don't actually hope to make friends there but its hard being the odd-one-out agewise. Especially being older - I'm always conscious of not coming across as a creep or something if the youngens think I'm trying to "fit in" with them or infiltrate them or something.



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22 May 2012, 8:39 am

MXH wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
1000Knives wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
1000Knives wrote:
Well, the cheaper suggestion than moving is get a car. Besides that, not much really, if you live in a "toxic" community, full of people you'd probably not want to be with anyway.


I tried that, and wasn't any good at it, I think I'm being responsible by not driving..


Well if you get overloaded too much while driving, make sure to have some stimulants handy, and also don't have other people with you in the car as much as you possibly can. But, you gotta do it if you wanna be successful in this country. Otherwise your only answer is moving to a country with lots of public transport.


Yeah basically, I'm screwed, and I know it.


I'm never going to be able to learn how to Drive, because I don't try things a second time when they are safe, but cars kill more people in the US every year than guns do.


cars and guns dont just kill people. Idiots using cars and guns do


Yes, and if there were no cars and guns those people would have to use pointy sticks and rocks. At least you'd have more of a chance of defending yourself.



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22 May 2012, 8:42 am

rabbittss wrote:
I've had no luck at all with Online dating.

And well, I don't live in Mississippi, but all the local religious groups are Evangelical, Pentecostal or something equally severe. The closest Unitarian church is 20miles away.


Poor prospects at the church then, unless you can fake it long enough to find a few women who are also faking it, and somehow compare notes with them, without blowing your cover. It's not quite so crazy as it sounds. A lot of people who join groups have their own agenda, e.g. finding a partner, getting access to the truck, a free lunch.....it's not all about realising the group's declared objectives.

I think I'd keep trying with the online dating thing. Presumably that (kind of) solves your problem of "meeting" women, i.e. they have read what you've written to them, you're getting some exposure. If they don't reply, or stop replying pretty quickly, then I guess you could work on what you're saying that might be putting them off.



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22 May 2012, 11:04 am

Or maybe a Methodist church?

I guess the 'norm' for a small town is that the more fervent people join a Baptist church and the more easy-going people join a Methodist church.



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22 May 2012, 11:18 am

AardvarkGoodSwimmer wrote:
Or maybe a Methodist church?

I guess the 'norm' for a small town is that the more fervent people join a Baptist church and the more easy-going people join a Methodist church.


Here, the more fervent people join the Pentecoastal (speaking in tongues, rolling in the aisles, some even allegedly handle snakes) and the more easy going ones join the baptist church. Basically we have Pentecoastal, Evangelical, "Non Denominational - Christian" which is dog whistle for people who get offended about religion really easy but don't make it a habit of going all that often, Baptist and Primitive Baptist.

In walking distance from me, there are no Methodist churches. There is one about 8 miles away, as well as an Episcopalian church, and further afield is an Anglican church which at least I'm sort of kind of a member of.. But I'm just not interested in intruding on people's religion.. and professing a belief in something I don't actually believe in.. it just is morally wrong feeling.



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22 May 2012, 11:18 am

rabbittss wrote:
MXH wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
1000Knives wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
1000Knives wrote:
Well, the cheaper suggestion than moving is get a car. Besides that, not much really, if you live in a "toxic" community, full of people you'd probably not want to be with anyway.


I tried that, and wasn't any good at it, I think I'm being responsible by not driving..


Well if you get overloaded too much while driving, make sure to have some stimulants handy, and also don't have other people with you in the car as much as you possibly can. But, you gotta do it if you wanna be successful in this country. Otherwise your only answer is moving to a country with lots of public transport.


Yeah basically, I'm screwed, and I know it.


I'm never going to be able to learn how to Drive, because I don't try things a second time when they are safe, but cars kill more people in the US every year than guns do.


cars and guns dont just kill people. Idiots using cars and guns do


Yes, and if there were no cars and guns those people would have to use pointy sticks and rocks. At least you'd have more of a chance of defending yourself.


No, cause thered be someone who can pick up a heavier rock and someone crafting a sharper stick. what you're doing is not grabbing either for no real reason.



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22 May 2012, 11:22 am

MXH wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
MXH wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
1000Knives wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
1000Knives wrote:
Well, the cheaper suggestion than moving is get a car. Besides that, not much really, if you live in a "toxic" community, full of people you'd probably not want to be with anyway.


I tried that, and wasn't any good at it, I think I'm being responsible by not driving..


Well if you get overloaded too much while driving, make sure to have some stimulants handy, and also don't have other people with you in the car as much as you possibly can. But, you gotta do it if you wanna be successful in this country. Otherwise your only answer is moving to a country with lots of public transport.


Yeah basically, I'm screwed, and I know it.


I'm never going to be able to learn how to Drive, because I don't try things a second time when they are safe, but cars kill more people in the US every year than guns do.


cars and guns dont just kill people. Idiots using cars and guns do


Yes, and if there were no cars and guns those people would have to use pointy sticks and rocks. At least you'd have more of a chance of defending yourself.


No, cause thered be someone who can pick up a heavier rock and someone crafting a sharper stick. what you're doing is not grabbing either for no real reason.


I'm sorry, I simply don't want to drive. I'm no good at it and therefore would be a danger to others if I were on the road. I get to easily distracted, to anxious and to much tunnel vision. Please, simply accept this as a fact and move on, nothing you say will make me change my mind.



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22 May 2012, 11:28 am

rabbittss wrote:
nothing you say will make me change my mind.


me and many other have noticed this about you



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22 May 2012, 11:31 am

MXH wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
nothing you say will make me change my mind.


me and many other have noticed this about you


The world could do with less compromise.



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22 May 2012, 11:33 am

MXH wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
nothing you say will make me change my mind.


me and many other have noticed this about you

May I ask why you are here then rabbittss?



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22 May 2012, 11:37 am

I'm looking for suggestions, it doesn't obligate me to take the suggestions if I see flaws in them. In this case, the suggestion was "Learn to drive", and I have no desire to learn how to do something that is that dangerous, MXH became persistent, and I was forced to explain to him that on this particular example I wasn't planning to budge. I have no interest in learning how to drive, I consider it dangerous, to me and to others, and it simply isn't something I'm going to do.



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22 May 2012, 11:49 am

rabbittss wrote:
I'm sorry, I simply don't want to drive. I'm no good at it and therefore would be a danger to others if I were on the road. I get to easily distracted, to anxious and to much tunnel vision. Please, simply accept this as a fact and move on, nothing you say will make me change my mind.


It's probably best if you don't drive if you are as much a danger to others on the road as you think you could be. The roads would be safer if people that know they are bad drivers don't drive.

I understand how you feel and don't like when people push me to do things I know I can't do. They aren't the ones that are going to have to suffer with the consequences if things go wrong.

I don't drive either and don't think I'd be a safe driver if I did. I never had a license (and at this point can't get one or an id) and never had enough money to buy a car or anyone to teach me to drive it. I don't know if I have dyspraxia but my slow reaction times and poor spatial awareness would make things difficult.



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22 May 2012, 11:56 am

hanyo wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
I'm sorry, I simply don't want to drive. I'm no good at it and therefore would be a danger to others if I were on the road. I get to easily distracted, to anxious and to much tunnel vision. Please, simply accept this as a fact and move on, nothing you say will make me change my mind.


It's probably best if you don't drive if you are as much a danger to others on the road as you think you could be. The roads would be safer if people that know they are bad drivers don't drive.

I understand how you feel and don't like when people push me to do things I know I can't do. They aren't the ones that are going to have to suffer with the consequences if things go wrong.

I don't drive either and don't think I'd be a safe driver if I did. I never had a license (and at this point can't get one or an id) and never had enough money to buy a car or anyone to teach me to drive it. I don't know if I have dyspraxia but my slow reaction times and poor spatial awareness would make things difficult.


Exactly, spacial awareness is a big part of it, along with tunnel vision.

the problem is many people who wouldn't normally want to drive, are offered no choice because of the lack of other options. Personally, beyond the obvious safety issues, I simply don't buy into the scam that is car ownership. It's not true freedom, but a form a slavery in which you pay never ending and ever increasing amounts of money to the Oil Companies to which you are shackled. To say nothing of the Insurance companies and dodgy auto repair places.