Hey everyone

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theres more to not smelling than showering. Like having clean clothes and a clean closet. Actually scrubbing dirt and such out with good soaps/scrubs and not just sitting under falling water for 45 minutes

1. You are obviously depressed. Get some professional help with this.

2. You have problems dealing with basic life skills. Take on each thing one at a time, starting with the bathing.

3. You want a romantic social life. Let's get real here. Your dream girl is not going to suddenly knock on your door from out of the blue. If you want a social life you have to go out and cultivate one, yourself. However, no one is going to want to socialize with you if you don't bath, so clean yourself up.

4. There are things you can do to help yourself, like exercise. It generates mood boosting endorphins, and will also improve your health. Also, eat healthier meals, and get plenty of sleep.

5. Besides the bathing issue, you are just not ready to have a real life. First you need to deal with your own issues.

- Shower at least two or three times a week in the winter when staying home, and daily in warmer weather.

- Put clean clothes on after each shower. Putting the dirties back on also puts the stink back on.

- Change the sheets once a week, and blankets once a month, on the bed after showering, and before sleeping on them. They get stinky too, so they need to be washed periodically, too.

- Unclutter your room, and put everything away.

- Dust your room.

- Vacuum your room.

- Have your parents or Grandmother show you how to do the laundry. It's easy to do. My mother actually loved to do the laundry.

- Help out in the kitchen doing the dishes and helping to do food prep and cleaning up after things have been cooked. This will help you with the next tip.

- Have your parents or Grandmother teach you how to make some simple meals, starting with non cooked ones, like sandwiches. Later on they can show you how to make some simple cooked meals, too. I am no great shakes as a cook, but I can handle some simple, but nice meals. Also, cooking can be fun. I suggest trying crock pot cooking. That's fun. You can make all kinds of stews and roasts with that, without too much effort. Cassaroles are another good option, and can be made ahead of time, and then frozen until the day you want to start eating it. Stove cooking with pots and pans is pretty easy, too, but you have to stick around in the kitchen, while doing it, so you can keep an eye on the pots and pans. Other wise you could burn the food.

- Once you've learned how to clean your room and the kitchen, start helping out with cleaning the rest of the house.

- Have your parents teach you how to do some minor home repairs, too. There are books on the subject you can pick up at hardware and book stores, as well as online.

- In your time online, do some research on books to help young people starting out in life with basic life skills. There are such books out there. I've heard of them. Have your parents get you one or two of them, so you can use them to help you out.

- Get a good book on basic home budgeting that includes info about managing your check book.

- Do some research on gardening. Having a garden provides healthy exercise, healthy food, and helps out with the food budget, so start a garden. There's a great book by Mel Bartholomew called "Square Foot Gardening." He had a gardening show on PBS years ago, but I believe no new episodes have been made for some years. I think he may have passed away by now. He was a great host, and very knowledgeable about gardening. He also wrote another book, "Cash From Your Square Foot Garden." This one provides more info on square foot gardening, and also info on ways to make money doing it.

Once you learn how to take care of yourself you will be better able to function not only at home, but when you are away from home, too.

Your biggest problem is your laziness, but some of it may be caused by your depression, so get to work on that--at home by exercising, eating healthy, and getting enough sleep--and away from home by seeing a psych doc for some help.

You don't have a chance at a social life until you make at least some of the changes I mentioned. And it will take time to work through all of that. So YOU have a choice. YOU can wallow around bemoaning your fate, in a massive pity party, or YOU can get off your duff and fix things. The ball is in YOUR court. Do YOU want to lay around home having a pity party, or are YOU going to make the necessary changes to improve things. No one else can do it for YOU. It's YOUR choice.

I don't know what kind of women you want but if you only go after very attractive women then maybe you just need to lower your standards maybe just a little bit.

It has become obvious to me over the years that not everyone can date a supermodel or a famous actress (unless you are Keanu Reeves or Tom Cruise of course) so perhaps you just need to lower your standards just a little bit and go after less good-looking women but with a better personality.

Try a diff doctor.

Lets get to the bottom line here ok MR20? What is it you want to hear from us? I ask this because nothing that anyone has said has been what you wanted to hear.

I'm not talking about your situation or your hygeine or your looks or your hobbies or your IQ. I'm talking about what it is that you want to hear from us. That's what I want to know. I'm not being mean to you or attacking you or anything like that. There are quite a few people that I have seen who come here and talk about how bad their situations are, how trapped they are, how helpless they are, how bad they have it in life and how unfair it is, etc. There is nothing at all wrong with doing that. Everybody feels that way sometimes and it's good to get it off your chest and it helps put things into perspective.

Some of those people listen to advice and try it, some listen and can't try it, some have a reason they can't do anything to improve things not even run a brush through their hair or make any effort to help themselves. Some of them have legitimate reasons, some have reasons that are ever changing and always something new, bad and dramatic, and some really don't feel that they are worth doing it for so they see no point in trying. Some will read what someone else says and co-opt their reasons.

What I've seen from you is that you post and talk about how bad you are, how nobody would like you etc. When people give you suggestions there's reasons you can't do it. Well, if those reasons are true then they are true and you do have our sympathy, and our hopes that things improve for you. But what it seems like to me is that you want to come here and put yourself down so that people will try and help and you just want to argue with them. Like you just want to pick a fight with somebody and say how people are so mean to you, because of an argument you started when they tried to tell you that you aren't as bad as you think you are.

So, what do you want? Do you want us to agree with you and put you down and tell you that you don't have to try anymore? Would that give you the reason you need to continue to put forth no effort? I mean if strangers online tell you that you aren't any good then you must be horrible, if you can't get them to like you, right? Is that what you want?

Do you want us to continue to try and help you gain one little shred of self esteem while you are constantly tearing down those shreds that others try to help you build? Because eventually everybody is gonna get tired of that and quit. Then nobody will be telling you that you aren't as bad as you think, and you won't be getting encouragement to change your situation.

Do you want someone here to have some sort of magical help or idea that will suddenly transform you into Denzel Washington? Cause if somebodys got that kind of magic they best be bringing it to use on my husband first! Desperation can cause people to reach out blindly and in pain hoping for something "magical" or "miraculous" but that's not how miracles or magic happen. You have to put forth the effort. You have to be willing to take the chances. You may get shot down 99 times, but on the 100th, you might get lucky. Or you might not. It's all a crap shoot.

Basically I want to know what it is you want out of this crap shoot we call life. Do you want to get in the game and take the chance of winning or losing, or do you just want to stand back and talk trash about it?

I'm not being mean to you, I'm trying to talk to you like I would one of my kids if they were talking like you are. Ain't nobody can change you but you. Bottom line there. And it may be hard to change you, and it damn sure won't be easy or comfortable to change all those years of habits and ways of thinking, but unless you do that, then you just need to resign yourself to what you got now. Cause ain't nothing in this life free and ain't nothing worth anything just handed to somebody without them having to do some kind of hard work themself first. And hard work is not a guarantee of success. But it's a start.

So, get in the game, or get used to the sidelines.

I do wish you luck and I'm not trying to be mean.

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

I'll cover a couple of things since I really do hope you take my advice.

Basic Life skills

The best way to learn life skills is to simply do it, everything can be learned through the means of trial and error. The first time you iron your clothes, maybe they won't be extremely neat. Nobody starts out as experienced, those are skills which need to be developed through trial or error and experience and if you don't try, you won't know. Every home owner has to go through steps in gaining skills that build independence and self sufficiency. If you don't think you can maintain a large property, simply rent a smaller flat or a living space that can be easily maintained. Perhaps you'll burn a cake or two, maybe you will stall a car a few times or get rejected at a few job interviews, it happens to everyone, it isn't the end of the world, just realize there's a greater opportunity out there instead of having a defeatist attitude.

There's always great websites such as WikiHow and Dummies which can be a great help too.

Career

As for this, there are jobs that don't require a formal interview process or a formal standard of education. There are trade jobs there and home based businesses which can be done and they don't require you to have . There are many to choose from and some that you could learn as you go and if you put the advertising in, you could make a nice living as a self employed business owner, it's about finding out what you want to do.

You said you like video games and computers? There are also consultancy or help desk jobs that can be started or obtained without being university educated. http://www.certforums.com/forums/ This forum offers great advice about various qualifications that can be obtained through sitting examinations which could help land you a job in IT.