Paradox_Divergent
Emu Egg
Joined: 25 Mar 2017
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 3
Location: Georgia, United States
25 Mar 2017, 11:02 pm
ToughDiamond wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
Hmm...I'm an introverted female and I tried out a relationship with an extroverted male and it just didn't work out, mostly because he is extroverted. I couldn't keep up with his social schedule, and the fact that we had no real "alone time" because he was always connected to his friends, if not in person then with beeping and ringing phones and computers. I decided I am much more suited to an introvert-introvert relationship.
That's the way it would be for me if I had an extraverted partner. I'm sure I'd feel threatened, envious and resentful that they were gallivanting about partying and doing all this social stuff while I didn't dare go near most of it. In fact when my last gf said her ambition was to become the life and soul of the party, I told her that if she wanted to do that and leave me behind, she could damn well paddle her own canoe. I admit that was a very mean way to put it, but I felt it was mean of her to ignore me in her ambitions like that. Not that she was an extravert, or ever likely to become one. I could have quite safely lied and told her she had my total support, but I preferred to be honest.
I can't see how it would ever work, introvert with extravert. The introvert would feel left behind and neglected, surely? And the extravert would feel like a hare chained to a tortoise. How would it be possible for the usual marriage conditions to apply - the thing about socialising as a couple to avoid emotional infidelity?
Maybe there's still some of this old sexist attitude about, that the woman likes "experience" in a man, and feels that her place is in the home? Each to his own, I guess.
That can happen if they aren't mindful and respectful of their differences. But an introvert-extrovert relationship absolutely can work especially if both are confident people. A couple respectful of each other can find a common ground. The introvert prefers one-on-one interactions and small groups vs. a large crowd. There are several things the two can do together like an intimate gathering of friends, spend time with just one or two of them, etc. If extrovert lets their introvert partner know ahead of time about a social event and give them the needed time to build up their energy, the introvert can socialize and actually be extroverted for a while (but not for a long period of time). Also they don't always have to socialize together; the introvert can have their alone time to energize and self-reflect while the extrovert goes hang with their friends in their bigger environment if they chose (as long as their socializing is respectful to their significant other).
Also an introvert, especially a confident and mentally strong one, are guarded individuals & very selective about the people they let into their life. Those who are close to them are ones who bring quality to their life, they genuinely love their company, feel they've proven they are worth the emotion, time and energy investment and feel that they can trust them with their private inner self that others are not privy to. They are more than content to listen to others and have their extroverted partner have the floor and socialize, granted they are respectful of them.
Paradox_Divergent
Emu Egg
Joined: 25 Mar 2017
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 3
Location: Georgia, United States
25 Mar 2017, 11:36 pm
IlovemyAspie wrote:
Briana_Lopez wrote:
In my relationship, my boyfriend's introverted and I'm extroverted. I think his shyness actually turns me on heheh! But he's still the dominant one in the relationship, the roles haven't changed for us. I don't know how that works, but it has for the past 2 years. 
I'm extroverted and I have no problems with a guy being introverted. If I love,trust and respect him, then he can still be the "alpha male" in the relationship. I can be very opinonated but when it comes to him, if he says "x" is best, then that's what I go with. If I didn't love, trust and respect him, Introverted doesn't necessarily have to equate to being a spineless jellyfish. would just run over him. It's not right, but it has happened before. I feel terrible about but it is what it is. Or was what it was! lol
You are absolutely right; introversion doesn't mean shyness or being a doormat. Introverts don't speak for the sake of speaking and prefer listening & observing. Like there are plenty of insecure people-pleasing extroverts, there are plenty of confident introvert men. The introvert alpha man are often known as the quiet calm alpha male, the strong & silent type; gentle in the interactions with others but dominant & aggressive with their roles & responsibilities
Seems like the both of you got the strong silent type.
Lucky you
