The ignorance virtue.

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MXH
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12 Jun 2012, 5:59 am

spongy wrote:

MXH wrote:

spongy wrote:

I doesnt see why turning ignoring something you dont like into a virtue should be seen as a bad thing.

I had some friends in my first years at college and for some reason things didnt work out(turned into some sort of unhealthy friendship I decided to leave before things got too bad).
People noticed this and whenever someone asked me what happened I just made up some sort of joke excuse on the spot "I needed more time to focus on my passion for (insert lame hobby here) I dont have time for friendships right now "(you say this with the right tone and no one will take you seriously unless they are looking for an excuse to criticize you which is something I cant stop)

After a day I told them that I had already said everything I was going to say on the subject whenever someone asked and I havent talked with them since then for several years.

Considering similar situations in the past its looking like the best approach so far.

as i said, you handled that like an adult. You saw a bad situation with someone you knew and withdrew from it. This is not what boo talks about. its when you try to talk to someone and instead of politely rejecting they simply ignore your existence as if you're not even human anymore. You did nothing but try to talk to them, but you're aparently not good enough to even get a negative response. I understand if you reject them and they keep trying you can ignore them. But on the first try? Get off your pedestal before i drop you off it.

This can happen both on and offline.
Do you take the time to talk with anyone that approaches you on the street?. I dont really know but I can tell you that most people dont.

Why are things like this and why is this currently accepted in society is beyond me.

so long as they arent trying to force me to walk into a strip club yes i talk to anyone that approaches me. Either i can help them, or i cant and apologize for not being able to. But yes i was actually refering to offline approaching in my post so that i can leave how doing it online being much harsher to individual interpretation.

edgewaters
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12 Jun 2012, 6:00 am

Online or in real life I find it invasive when strangers decide to interact, unless there's a context for interaction. I should be able to go about my normal business without having to interact. But I guess I do not flatly refuse to respond (unless it's telemarketers or those people giving samples or wanting you to sign up for credit cards or all that).

Last edited by edgewaters on 12 Jun 2012, 6:03 am, edited 1 time in total.

ialdabaoth
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12 Jun 2012, 6:03 am

edgewaters wrote:

Online or in real life I find it invasive when strangers decide to interact, unless there's a context for interaction. I should be able to go about my normal business without having to interact.

I find that I "should" be able to do or experience whatever others are willing to allow me to do or experience.

edgewaters
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12 Jun 2012, 6:04 am

ialdabaoth wrote:

I find that I "should" be able to do or experience whatever others are willing to allow me to do or experience.

What business is it of theirs what you can and can't experience?

Last edited by edgewaters on 12 Jun 2012, 6:04 am, edited 1 time in total.

MXH
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12 Jun 2012, 6:04 am

edgewaters wrote:

you're completely allowed to. nobody has said otherwise. All i and boo have said was there are better ways to deal with it than pretending they dont exist. Ignoring should be second to last resort, last one being calling police or taking it into your own hands.

edgewaters
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12 Jun 2012, 6:08 am

MXH wrote:

edgewaters wrote:

In real life (most of the time), sure. If someone remarks that it's a nice day out while you're waiting for a bus or something it's pretty rude to say nothing at all. But there are exceptions. The telemarketer, for example.

Online is a bit different, though. Depending on the context.

ialdabaoth
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12 Jun 2012, 6:10 am

edgewaters wrote:

ialdabaoth wrote:

I find that I "should" be able to do or experience whatever others are willing to allow me to do or experience.

What business is it of theirs what you can and can't experience?

It's whatever business they want it to be, isn't it?

edgewaters
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12 Jun 2012, 6:13 am

ialdabaoth wrote:

edgewaters wrote:

ialdabaoth wrote:

I find that I "should" be able to do or experience whatever others are willing to allow me to do or experience.

What business is it of theirs what you can and can't experience?

It's whatever business they want it to be, isn't it?

Sounds rudderless to me.

MXH
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12 Jun 2012, 6:18 am

edgewaters wrote:

MXH wrote:

edgewaters wrote:

as i said, someone being forcefull on you? by all means ignore them. But someone simply trying to initiate conversation wether online or offline just doesnt deserve the same treatment as someone whos forcing you onto something. How hard is it to say "thanks but no thanks". f**k, you can even just copy paste that response to everyone. But atleast you let them know they exist, you're not interested, please move on. ignoring is just going to promote them to become more forceful to get a response out of you.

DogsWithoutHorses
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12 Jun 2012, 6:21 am

edgewaters wrote:

I think it's about minimizing conflict
in person, a nod or other brief acknowledgement is usually the best response for minimizing the amount of interaction and avoiding conflict
online, the best (best here meaning most efficient and effective) way to minimize undesired interaction and conflict is to blank.

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MXH
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12 Jun 2012, 6:23 am

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:

edgewaters wrote:

theres a differnce between not wanting to bother and most effective.
"I always choose a lazy person to do a difficult job
Because he will find an easy way to do it"
-Bill Gates

edgewaters
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12 Jun 2012, 6:42 am

MXH wrote:

But someone simply trying to initiate conversation wether online or offline just doesnt deserve the same treatment as someone whos forcing you onto something. How hard is it to say "thanks but no thanks". f**k, you can even just copy paste that response to everyone. But atleast you let them know they exist, you're not interested, please move on. ignoring is just going to promote them to become more forceful to get a response out of you.

There are too many people on the internet to acknowledge all of them. This isn't real anyway, I'm just a ghost here. Maybe it's different if you grew up with the internet and the way it began to intertwine with real life.

mds_02
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12 Jun 2012, 6:42 am

I think one thing is being forgotten when comparing ignoring people online to ignoring them in real life.

In real life, you may really be just trying to go about your business, with no desire for, and giving no sign that you are interested in, being approached by others.

However, the very purpose of the sorts of places online where one is likely to be ignored (social networking sites, dating sites, forums, etc.) is to allow relative strangers to contact each other.

A person who creates an account at any of those sorts of sites is giving tacit permission for others to contact them. Given that, ignoring people in that situation could be considered even more rude.

Why then does it seem more acceptable to do it online? Only answer I can come up with is simple cowardice. When you ignore someone out in the real world, there is the possibility that they will respond negatively in way you can't ignore. Online, the people you offend have no power over you. Online, rudeness has no consequences.

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edgewaters
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12 Jun 2012, 6:46 am

mds_02 wrote:

Why then does it seem more acceptable to do it online? Only answer I can come up with is simple cowardice. When you ignore someone out in the real world, there is the possibility that they will respond negatively in way you can't ignore. Online, the people you offend have no power over you. Online, rudeness has no consequences.

Or, conversely, in real life people can retaliate and be hostile and use drama to force their presence on you, whereas online that sort of blackmail is impossible.

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