BlueMax wrote:
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
Some people just aren't built for monogamy and that's okay.
It doesn't make you bad or a sociopath or whatever.
I think it would be helpful though if instead of beating yourself up over not fitting into a typical relationship box, you focused on building relationships that meet your needs (maybe an open relationship? or more casual commitments).
To make that happen the first step is going to have to be being honest with yourself about hat you really need and want from a relationship without worrying about what you think you are supposed to want.
He's NOT beating himself up over it - that's the point. If he wants to be a Glen Quagmire and screw anything that moves, that's his choice. If it's consentual all around, that's fine for everyone involved.
If he's manipulating and tricking people to get that sex, it's hurting people. If he's in what's supposed to be a monogamous relationship but he's cheating then he's hurting his partner. If he's knowingly hurting people with zero remorse, he could be a sociopath.
Just be honest about what you want in a relationship - it's that simple.exact advice I gave (in bold)
I read this as the poster being upset about having a romantic framework that didn't fit the relationship model they were trying, and concerned that they weren't feeling what they were "supposed" to feel. And I tried to address a possible underlying issue instead of just telling them they're horrible for behavior that is statistically not that uncommon or engaging in armchair diagnosis of mental issues.
Is the dishonesty okay? no of course not, what's going on now isn't very good or sustainable
Is not sticking with just one partner and not feeling bad about it okay? yes, if it's done in a healthy honest way
edit: I was under the impression OP was a she, not that it makes a difference to the content but I try to use people's preferred pronouns
_________________
If your success is defined as being well adjusted to injustice and well adapted to indifference, then we don?t want successful leaders. We want great leaders- who are unbought, unbound, unafraid, and unintimidated to tell the truth.
13 Jun 2012, 10:20 pm
