Smoking: a deal breaker or not?

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Though I don't smoke, I like the outdoor smoking scene. I find smokers are very friendly and talkative when they're on a smoking break, I don't have trouble breathing with smokers outside (unlike in smoking lounges), and as an adult I've never felt under pressure to smoke. I'd prefer it if they were at least trying to quit, but it's not a deal breaker with me at all.

I understand that one. When I'm at a meeting with people I don't know, eventually one of them will go out for a smoke, and others will follow, and then I go to and smoke with them. Conversation is easier, I don't know why but it is.

You're severly limiting your possibilities if you instantly write off a smoker. A lot of attractive, nice girls are smokers, so if you turn down someone just because they smoke, don't complain about your relationship status.

Edit: The dangers of second-hand smoking are grossly exaggerated, but if I were to live with a girl who smoked, I'd expect that she DID NOT smoke inside the house or in the car.

Except you're forgetting the possibility that for some, smoking, or even just the smell of cigar(ette) smoke, could trigger a sensitivity. That's a pretty valid reason to still complain about relationship status since the person in question wouldn't be able to physically deal with smoking.

If just the smell of a cigarette gives someone te creeps, IMHO they need to man up. Most people at least smell cigarette smoke once a day. In 2012, it's not normal to smoke inside the house anymore either.


[Edited for swear filter evading language]

Well considering I'm a smoker, I'd go for another smoker or it wouldn't matter to me if they didn't mind. I'm actually married and my wife is indeed a smoker. We met online 10 years ago and became friends online way before we ever met. I find it alot easier to communicate with others with the physical barrier on the electronic screen

Yes - and if the colour "grey" ever had a taste, this would be it.

Thats not true, there are plenty of people who go weeks without smelling cigarette smoke. And theres a difference between being picky and having standards. Being picky is writing off someone because they use the phrase "you Know" to much, or because their eye lashes are too long. Having standards is not being interested in someone because their habits or lack there of intrude on your belief on morals, health, and/or religion. Things like smoking, drinking, unhealthy eating, interests in sports, interests in art, drug useage, etc. all go under standards.

If you write off someone because your being picky, well yeah your limiting yourself. But if your not interested in someone because of your standards, then in all likely hood it wouldn't have worked out anyway.

This site is for people with autism. For many, if not most, that includes sensory issues. I'm one of those who just can't abide the smell of smoke (or strong perfumes). I grew up in a smoke filled home and I'm pretty certain my clothes must have reeked. I had no option but to live with it. Since leaving home (and now that my Mum is a non-smoker anyway), I've found it intolerable, when I've been subjected to it. It's not something I can just decide to find inoffensive or harmless. It's just like when others can't suddenly decide that noise no longer affects them or clothes no longer irritate.

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Last edited by AScomposer13413 on 17 Jun 2012, 3:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

+ 1

There's a difference between having standards and writing someone off because of something superficial. Men not wanting to date smokers are similar to women not wanting to date men who aren't social butterflies.

No men are perfect, thus, they shouldn't expect a woman who is. If a woman has no drawbacks, 99 out of 100 times she's taken.

Basically any entrance to a university, mall or any public building with more than 50 people inside it has at least some tobacco smell, and every time you leae a class, a lot of people are outside smoking.

Deal breaker for me. Although I'm nearly 30 and still no girlfriend in sight, so maybe I can't be that picky anymore? There was a girl I really liked, though I suspect she may have been a smoker.

How is writing someone off because someone's smoking smell prevents you from holding a conversation the slightest bit superficial? If it's sensory, you have no choice but to write it off. Nothing superficial about it

It is a complete deal breaker for me, for two main reasons.

1. I have asthma, which is triggered by cigarette smoke. I dated (and lived with) a smoker for a year a long time ago and I was very unwell. I used to wake up in the night gasping for breath.

2. Just over a year ago a friend of mine died from lung cancer. I was with him at the hospital appointment when they told him it was terminal, I looked after him for several months and watched him deteriorate. He died a horrible, painful and frightening death 8 months after the diagnosis. I absolutely could not go through that again. Not only would I not date a smoker I wouldn't become good friends with a smoker either. I know that isn't entirely rational but every time I see someone smoking I remember what his body looked like, so I can't be around smokers at all now.

I'm completely straight-edge (in the general sense, I'm not a punk rocker!) which means I don't drink, smoke or take drugs. I also don't drink tea or coffee so it's quite likely that no-one who enjoyed smoking, drinking or recreational drug use would want to date me in the first place

Newsflash: You can't blame everything on sensory issues. I somehow doubt that it's Asperger's syndrome that makes you hate tobacco smell when you basically smell car exhaust in every public place (allthough you don't really notice this, as you're used to it) and when you're subconsciously bombarded by the smell of junk food, garbage or anything like that in every store. Sensory issues pretty much makes you oversensitive to every unpleasant smell, not just one specific type.