Perhaps I'm just meant to die alone?

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Any girl who would think that is jumping to conclusions.

Obviously. I intend to do a lot more crazy things like bungy jumping, drinking the water in mexico, eating lettuce in India.. sky diving.. Whatever I fancy really.

Well, I will say that at 18 you shouldn't jump to conclusions. You simply have not been exposed to enough people yet to make that decision. Plus, at your age, it is much easier to find a girl who will be understanding of your lack of experience and give you the nudge you need to learn these valuable social skills. Wait too long and the expectations go up significantly, to the point that it will be much more difficult. What you probably need is another person who has a lack of self esteem in this area and thus will not judge you too harshly so long as you do not judge her. Instead of focusing heavily on appearances, try focusing on finding a girl who is a kindred spirit. In the end this is far more likely to result in a connection than just finding someone you only want to have sex with.

I had no hope of that kind of thing at 18. None. But time and effort later gave me more options.

What a load of BS. Intimate relationships are about sex and also about being (physically) close to each other. What's the point of being in an intimate relationship at all if there is no sexual or physical contact and intimacy?

Last edited by Uri on 21 Jun 2012, 6:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Also speaking online is TONS easier than face-to-face encounters.

Xenu, truth is most girls just think "oh somebody is talking to me.....what should I say back?" So you realy nothing to worry about, unless of course your going around saying "hey nice breast!! ".

But that's exactly the kind of girl I look for.

Not for me.

Oh, I don't know. The promise of a mutually beneficial relationship where both people can feel comfortable and accepted. Nothing big. BTW, you'll find that physical intimacy is best when it springs from emotional intimacy. The aspie I am dating actually has most of his problems in identifying attractiveness and intimacy. If he sees something past PG-13, he'll throw up. He's 21. (He is working through this of course.) Despite this it's been one of the best, most intimate relationships I've ever been in. Intimacy isn't all about physicality. It's also mental, emotional, and spiritual.

But it is about physicality. Seriously, you guys are so full of s**t.

That is my experience. Why do you insist I'm wrong? Also being physical =/= intimacy. I've had it both ways, but I can't go into too much on these forums. Have you had experience to the contrary?

Please DO NOT put off trying to solve this problem and assume it will resolve on its own, if you just focus on your schoolwork. Your peers will move ahead in their romantic/emotional development, leaving you farther in the dust until very possibly some day you will be so depressed you almost cannot concentrate on your studies anymore.

Be glad that you already had at least one relationship so far at 18. I'm 27 and still haven't had one. Also, I wanted to comment on the following, because you may have a misconception:

I wouldn't blame it squarely on your being too awkward to tell them how you feel. The "friend zone", in my experience, is NOT something you get put into because you didn't show it loud and clear enough that you like someone. If that were the case, making a "move" would get you out of it. It's more often that the other person only had platonic feelings to start with, and she never would have felt more.

It would seem the most likely girls for us aspie, “bipolar-ish”, artistically inclined guys to click with are similarly shy, moody, and creative girls, who can mirror our manic highs and mental energy. These girls are also easy enough for me (and maybe other brainiac guys) to engage mentally, and it’s easy to assume they’re just as easy to “woo” or get into bed, or that they’re headstrong enough to be the pursuers.

That very last part is in fact sometimes the case, BUT the gap between them liking your mind and wanting you as a boyfriend is surprisingly large, I’ve found. Many of the more attractive ones, at least, seem to go for guys who can create a social "niche" for them. This could be your problem, more than you acting like they’re “just friends you’re awkward around”, which sounds quite normal to me. Possibly the only way around this is to meet more quirky people, so get on it!

Relationships are about much more than sex. Failure to understand that will end up in you being alone or unhappy most of your life. Now, initial attraction may well come from physical appearance, but unless you are just looking for a one night stand it will not be enough to sustain the relationship.

Be patient then. It may well take more time for you than most people, but if you keep having interactions with people eventually you will stumble into something. However, you need to realize that if she lacks confidence then you will have to either be slightly more confident than her or show yourself to be a decent guy that will look out for her and protect her.

i don't agree. i believe that, in the pursuit of an inferno, a pool of petroleum will not find another pool of petroleum to be his match. An outgoing woman that speaks alot may well need someone that gives them the room to say everything and take the time (or at least appear) to listen. Xenu, there's no need to force a change in yourself, you won't be given the option of dying alone; you are somebody's perfect solution. As outofplace says, be patient