25 Jun 2012, 8:32 pm
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
AScomposer13413 wrote:
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
AScomposer13413 wrote:
...what's this doing in this forum?? 
Um, because it's a love and dating issue.
I think it's nice to talk about actual relationship stuff here instead of just the process of getting into one or drama. There are a lot of practical things involved in maintaining healthy relationships, co-sleeping (whether you do or don't, accommodating both partners) is a major one.
Discussion of relationships certainly belongs on this forum.
Define "actual relationship stuff". Co-sleeping is an issue that implies both partners are living together, which is more about living rather than dating. I think she'd get a better response on the In-Depth Adult Life Forum, since most of the people there would have already encountered a similar problem. Not to mention most of the people in this subforum are still longing to get to the stage the OP is currently at, so chances are (with the exception of the first page, maybe others down the road) the OP would have to do a lot of sifting through a series of negative posts just to find a few more perspectives on the matter.
Actual relationship stuff: things pertaining to having and maintaining a relationship, sorry if that was unclear
I wouldn't say its more about living together than dating because as far as I'm aware it's not common practice here to sleep in the same bed as a roommate. It's common practice to sleep in the same bed with a significant other.
Also in this case, the OP and her S.O. don't live together so that criticism is extra irrelevant.
It's love and dating, not just dating.
People who want to talk about issues in their love lives don't have less of a prerogative to post here than people who want to talk about trying to get a love life. That the 2nd group might maybe have sour grapes (which so far on this thread there is so evidence of) shouldn't preclude the 1st group from posting.
I mentioned the 2nd set of people in case as a a heads up/warning sign, not as a method of barring her from posting it here.
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
As for having to sift through negative responses, the only remotely negative responses so far have been from you. So it's still a hypothetical and given that the topic isn't very inflammatory (by any but the most ridiculous standards) what little faith in humanity I have left leads me to believe it's unlikely.
If your initial comment had been more along the lines of "you might get better responses over here I've noticed a lot of people over there are in a similar place right now" it would have been a lot less problematic then popping in to say "what are you doing here talking about your functional relationship, everyone else doesn't have one so...harumph harumph harumph*"
*hey, I didn't get a harrumph from that guy
If your initial comment had been more along the lines of "you might get better responses over here I've noticed a lot of people over there are in a similar place right now" it would have been a lot less problematic then popping in to say "what are you doing here talking about your functional relationship, everyone else doesn't have one so...harumph harumph harumph*"
*hey, I didn't get a harrumph from that guy
This is where I think our misunderstanding occurred. The second sentence of my previous post was the thought process I had. As for it coming across as a negative response, it wasn't meant to be so. I just thought the OP would get more responses in the other forum (hence the second post). Either way, I realize I spoke out of line, and apologize for my part in the negativity in this thread towards the OP.
DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
Anyway, your "concern" has been noted
Okay, I already recognize I'm at fault. No need to drive that point home by shrugging off my viewpoint, thank you very much.
Monkeybuttorama wrote:
If you think it'd be better there, why not just say so from the get-go rather then make me feel bad for putting it in the "wrong" place?
I actually didn't think of the suggestion of putting it in the other forum until after I got your response, as I was still fixated on the point of the thread being in the "wrong" place. My intent wasn't to make you feel bad for it. Just an observation that was supposed to be leading you to getting good advice. I just failed horribly in it's execution.
Monkeybuttorama wrote:
I'm pretty new to forums in general, in that this is the first one I've even joined, and while I've explored the site a bit, I don't have a clue what's considered appropriate for where.
Okay, I had a HUGE lapse in empathy there, as I was a new member once upon a time. Still, I don't have any excuses. The post was negative and inconsiderate. I'm sorry for the damage it caused
Monkeybuttorama wrote:
(I'm a very literal person, and I've had a lot of major issues with communication, as, I assume, have most of us, all I'm asking for is a bit of understanding that not *everyone* automatically knows where things "belong")
Actually, I think I should ask for that in this case as well. Interpreting something literal is what got me too, so understanding is there, no worries. Just went too far with it this time. For the record, I hope you actually get the advice your looking for.
Monkeybuttorama
Sea Gull
Joined: 19 Jun 2012
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 214
Location: Somewhere beyond this pathetic "reality"
25 Jun 2012, 9:15 pm
AScomposer13413 wrote:
Monkeybuttorama wrote:
If you think it'd be better there, why not just say so from the get-go rather then make me feel bad for putting it in the "wrong" place?
I actually didn't think of the suggestion of putting it in the other forum until after I got your response, as I was still fixated on the point of the thread being in the "wrong" place. My intent wasn't to make you feel bad for it. Just an observation that was supposed to be leading you to getting good advice. I just failed horribly in it's execution.
Monkeybuttorama wrote:
I'm pretty new to forums in general, in that this is the first one I've even joined, and while I've explored the site a bit, I don't have a clue what's considered appropriate for where.
Okay, I had a HUGE lapse in empathy there, as I was a new member once upon a time. Still, I don't have any excuses. The post was negative and inconsiderate. I'm sorry for the damage it caused
Monkeybuttorama wrote:
(I'm a very literal person, and I've had a lot of major issues with communication, as, I assume, have most of us, all I'm asking for is a bit of understanding that not *everyone* automatically knows where things "belong")
Actually, I think I should ask for that in this case as well. Interpreting something literal is what got me too, so understanding is there, no worries. Just went too far with it this time. For the record, I hope you actually get the advice your looking for.
Thank you for clearing that up, and I apologize if I sounded rude, such was not my intent. Water under the bridge? ^_^ *offers hand for shaking-type activities*
Monkeybuttorama
Sea Gull
Joined: 19 Jun 2012
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 214
Location: Somewhere beyond this pathetic "reality"
25 Jun 2012, 9:18 pm
JanuaryMan wrote:
This is not uncommon. Some tips:
*Put the bed against the wall to avoid falling off.
*If you sleep opposite ways (one is a left sleeper, the other right) then you can arrange which side you both sleep so you either have your space, or are super-cuddling! Whichever you prefer.
*Bigger bed.
*Put the bed against the wall to avoid falling off.
*If you sleep opposite ways (one is a left sleeper, the other right) then you can arrange which side you both sleep so you either have your space, or are super-cuddling! Whichever you prefer.
*Bigger bed.
I love the idea of "super-cuddles"! ^_^
As for bed, he has a king, and I do it *more* there, because he tends to sprawl out.
I was 'seriously' considering making a railing for my bed on one side and CHAINING myself to it
25 Jun 2012, 9:25 pm
Monkeybuttorama wrote:
AScomposer13413 wrote:
Monkeybuttorama wrote:
If you think it'd be better there, why not just say so from the get-go rather then make me feel bad for putting it in the "wrong" place?
I actually didn't think of the suggestion of putting it in the other forum until after I got your response, as I was still fixated on the point of the thread being in the "wrong" place. My intent wasn't to make you feel bad for it. Just an observation that was supposed to be leading you to getting good advice. I just failed horribly in it's execution.
Monkeybuttorama wrote:
I'm pretty new to forums in general, in that this is the first one I've even joined, and while I've explored the site a bit, I don't have a clue what's considered appropriate for where.
Okay, I had a HUGE lapse in empathy there, as I was a new member once upon a time. Still, I don't have any excuses. The post was negative and inconsiderate. I'm sorry for the damage it caused
Monkeybuttorama wrote:
(I'm a very literal person, and I've had a lot of major issues with communication, as, I assume, have most of us, all I'm asking for is a bit of understanding that not *everyone* automatically knows where things "belong")
Actually, I think I should ask for that in this case as well. Interpreting something literal is what got me too, so understanding is there, no worries. Just went too far with it this time. For the record, I hope you actually get the advice your looking for.
Thank you for clearing that up, and I apologize if I sounded rude, such was not my intent. Water under the bridge? ^_^ *offers hand for shaking-type activities*
Agreed
*shakes her hand*
