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Venger
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28 Jun 2012, 9:12 pm

rabbittss wrote:

You have no idea what it's like to live in a rural sh** hole where you find 90% of all the women unattractive


It's like that everywhere. 9 out of 10 women are average or below average looking. I went to Hawaii about six months ago for over a week, and I didn't see even one woman I thought looked really good.



yellowtamarin
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28 Jun 2012, 9:12 pm

If you didn't want any responses, you probably should have written this in a paper journal or something. Venting TO people encourages a response. Second best option would be for you to have vented then never opened this thread up again - if you don't want to see the responses, don't look.



McAnulty
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28 Jun 2012, 9:18 pm

Yeah, by posting this you're kind of inviting a response, whether you admit it or not. If you don't want any advice then what's the point of posting? And no one called you delusional, they explicitly said that they were not saying you were delusional.



JanuaryMan
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28 Jun 2012, 9:21 pm

I'd settle down and reread. I said I wasn't saying you are delusional, therefore we are not talking about that. Jaded is a better word.
I admit you do get a hard time, but you do give a hard time to others as well. "you don't know me" is an often used piece of rhetoric, that aims to disqualify any comments and criticism from another person by saying because we don't know 1 or more pieces of information, any judgements we make on the information we do have are invalid. It's a bit weak. You have shared a lot of experiences and information with this forum, after all. But let us not go into that as it's not really necessary.

I'm not selling anything. I have no voodoo rituals, no self help scams, no secret formula to life. I and no one else here can guarantee a better outcome for you. That is something you have to achieve for yourself. You do want a better outcome, which is a start. But you do not want to go about it any other way than the way you want it, which is fine. Just know (which you do) that world is not fair, and will not always do things on your terms. And yes, it does have to be (but not entirely) on your terms if you are to be happy. Also know (which you will probably say you do) that to get to a point where you are happy sometimes you will have to go through stages of unhappiness.

If quitting dating is a fast track to your happiness then good for you, don't let us stop you. But seriously man, get a hobby. The amount of time you dedicate thinking about relationships, dating, women is not only unhealthy but..quite frankly surreal and scary. I don't say it to belittle you, just as a warning that it might take your life down a path which is not only full of loneliness but psychopathy. This subject should at best just be a sour one you think about when it's brought up, before moving on gradually to another topic. I'm no therapist, but from one Aspie to another find another special interest to focus on - I suggest one which does not put a value on genders, or people. In other words, something which doesn't involve people, but you can enjoy it with other people. Abe Lincoln felt it right to remove the value of persons in the Western World over 200 years ago. The fact you still objectify and devalue people in a modern time is troubling.



DogsWithoutHorses
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28 Jun 2012, 9:23 pm

Venger wrote:
rabbittss wrote:

You have no idea what it's like to live in a rural sh** hole where you find 90% of all the women unattractive


It's like that everywhere. 9 out of 10 women are average or below average looking. I went to Hawaii about six months ago for over a week, and I didn't see even one woman I thought looked really good.


that's not what the word average means


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Venger
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28 Jun 2012, 9:27 pm

DogsWithoutHorses wrote:
Venger wrote:
rabbittss wrote:

You have no idea what it's like to live in a rural sh** hole where you find 90% of all the women unattractive


It's like that everywhere. 9 out of 10 women are average orbelow average looking. I went to Hawaii about six months ago for over a week, and I didn't see even one woman I thought looked really good.


that's not what the word average means


read my post again :roll:



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28 Jun 2012, 9:29 pm

Just find something else you like doing, and then you'll be able to forget about women. Tesla never had sex ever. Women tried to get with Tesla, and Tesla refused because he was so absorbed in his inventions and saving humanity and stuff. Tesla was in my opinion one of the greatest men who ever lived. Even though he closed himself off to women, there were numerous women who wanted to get with him, though he refused.

The saying "An intellectual is someone who's found something more interesting than sex." I believe is true.



sacrip
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28 Jun 2012, 9:29 pm

You didn't say how old you are, Rabbitts, but if you're in your 20s and dating girls your own age, then you're getting a skewed perception of women. Women in their teens and early 20s tend to be emotional trainwrecks, shallow in their desires and lacking in self awareness. You know, like anybody in their 20s. I'm not suggesting you date older women or swear off women till you're 30, but just realize that your sample size is probably a LOT smaller than you think it is.


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rabbittss
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28 Jun 2012, 9:30 pm

Venger wrote:
rabbittss wrote:

You have no idea what it's like to live in a rural sh** hole where you find 90% of all the women unattractive


It's like that everywhere. 9 out of 10 women are average or below average looking. I went to Hawaii about six months ago for over a week, and I didn't see even one woman I thought looked really good.


I'm not looking for a 8-10.. I know I can't get that, and frankly I don't really want it. Anything from the 5-7 range is fine. Average is fine, Average is a 5. I'd be happy with a 5. This last girl was at best a 6.. but maybe a 5 and 1/2.. But I thought she was wonderful.. yeah she was a bit heavier than I normally want.. about 180... but I thought she was great.. we had so much in common.. similar views on things.. we liked the same subjects in school.. But she obviously didn't feel the same about me.. but instead of just telling me after our first meeting.. before I'd outlaid any money.. she waited to tell me that until after I'd bought her dinner, desert.. and stuff at the mall.



JanuaryMan
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28 Jun 2012, 9:31 pm

1000Knives wrote:
Just find something else you like doing, and then you'll be able to forget about women. Tesla never had sex ever. Women tried to get with Tesla, and Tesla refused because he was so absorbed in his inventions and saving humanity and stuff. Tesla was in my opinion one of the greatest men who ever lived. Even though he closed himself off to women, there were numerous women who wanted to get with him, though he refused.

The saying "An intellectual is someone who's found something more interesting than sex." I believe is true.


This. Some of the most remarkable people, men and women, never paired up or gave it much thought and yet they achieved so much and they were happy in their work.



rabbittss
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28 Jun 2012, 9:40 pm

sacrip wrote:
You didn't say how old you are, Rabbitts, but if you're in your 20s and dating girls your own age, then you're getting a skewed perception of women. Women in their teens and early 20s tend to be emotional trainwrecks, shallow in their desires and lacking in self awareness. You know, like anybody in their 20s. I'm not suggesting you date older women or swear off women till you're 30, but just realize that your sample size is probably a LOT smaller than you think it is.


yeah, the sad thing is though, I don't like women over the age of 30.. they are incontrovertibly adults.. no way around it.. and I don't consider myself an adult.. I want some one who will help me out of my shell.. not some one who will settle into it with me comfortably.. I thought that by going after a girl who was in her late 20's, actually a year older than me.. I'd be able to escape and find one who wasn't like all the 19 - 22's I'd talked to previously.. I was wrong.



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28 Jun 2012, 9:53 pm

No one will get you out of your shell but yourself. That's romantic bull. You will not change just because you find someone, what will happen is that person who is "out of her shell" will get fed up with you not being out of your shell, or when you realize she wants to do all this stuff that you don't, you'll rant and rave about all of women's flaws again and the injustice of your life. If your goal in getting a relationship is finding someone to help you become different, I'm not sure you're really comprehending how relationships work.



JanuaryMan
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28 Jun 2012, 9:54 pm

McAnulty wrote:
No one will get you out of your shell but yourself. That's romantic bull. You will not change just because you find someone, what will happen is that person who is "out of her shell" will get fed up with you not being out of your shell, or when you realize she wants to do all this stuff that you don't, you'll rant and rave about all of women's flaws again and the injustice of your life. If your goal in getting a relationship is finding someone to help you become different, I'm not sure you're really comprehending how relationships work.


Furthermore, how can you expect someone to change you when you don't want to change?



sacrip
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28 Jun 2012, 10:00 pm

rabbittss wrote:
sacrip wrote:
You didn't say how old you are, Rabbitts, but if you're in your 20s and dating girls your own age, then you're getting a skewed perception of women. Women in their teens and early 20s tend to be emotional trainwrecks, shallow in their desires and lacking in self awareness. You know, like anybody in their 20s. I'm not suggesting you date older women or swear off women till you're 30, but just realize that your sample size is probably a LOT smaller than you think it is.


yeah, the sad thing is though, I don't like women over the age of 30.. they are incontrovertibly adults.. no way around it.. and I don't consider myself an adult.. I want some one who will help me out of my shell.. not some one who will settle into it with me comfortably.. I thought that by going after a girl who was in her late 20's, actually a year older than me.. I'd be able to escape and find one who wasn't like all the 19 - 22's I'd talked to previously.. I was wrong.


Yeah, that's another thing: As much as girls like projects, like turning a 'bad boy' good, they don't like guys who come with emotional baggage for them to unpack and fold and put away. Young women in particular run away quickly from guys they perceive to have self-esteem issues, if for no other reason than they usually have their OWN crippling self esteem and can't handle propping someone else up while they need propping up as well.

I know this isn't the answer you're looking for, but I think quitting dating isn't a bad idea right now. I'm gonna tell you what you already know: You can't depend on a girl to make yourself into the man you want to be. That comes through wisdom, which comes through experience. I did it by joining the army, but I wouldn't recommend it for everyone. Find a passion, something to think about besides yourself, something that serves a greater good than yourself. That'll make you like yourself. And that'll make you interesting. And that'll attract the girls.


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rabbittss
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28 Jun 2012, 10:01 pm

JanuaryMan wrote:
McAnulty wrote:
No one will get you out of your shell but yourself. That's romantic bull. You will not change just because you find someone, what will happen is that person who is "out of her shell" will get fed up with you not being out of your shell, or when you realize she wants to do all this stuff that you don't, you'll rant and rave about all of women's flaws again and the injustice of your life. If your goal in getting a relationship is finding someone to help you become different, I'm not sure you're really comprehending how relationships work.


Furthermore, how can you expect someone to change you when you don't want to change?


I never said I wanted them to change me, I simply wanted some one who would encourage me to come out of my shell. That's as easy as simply being interested in going out and knowing places to go. Things I don't normally do, and don't know where to do them.

I'm not expecting a girl to magically fix me, I'm the only one who can fix me, well me and a s**t load of alcohol and drugs.



1000Knives
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28 Jun 2012, 10:01 pm

rabbittss wrote:
sacrip wrote:
You didn't say how old you are, Rabbitts, but if you're in your 20s and dating girls your own age, then you're getting a skewed perception of women. Women in their teens and early 20s tend to be emotional trainwrecks, shallow in their desires and lacking in self awareness. You know, like anybody in their 20s. I'm not suggesting you date older women or swear off women till you're 30, but just realize that your sample size is probably a LOT smaller than you think it is.


yeah, the sad thing is though, I don't like women over the age of 30.. they are incontrovertibly adults.. no way around it.. and I don't consider myself an adult.. I want some one who will help me out of my shell.. not some one who will settle into it with me comfortably.. I thought that by going after a girl who was in her late 20's, actually a year older than me.. I'd be able to escape and find one who wasn't like all the 19 - 22's I'd talked to previously.. I was wrong.


Man, I get along way better with women over 30. And they're still quite gorgeous, some of them, too. Most of the reason I don't try for them much is social pressures not to, especially if I brought one home to my mother...wouldn't go down well.

Maybe I'd be lucky in Japan, in Japan, nobody wants to marry women over 30 years old there.