What do you look for a potential date?

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Though dating friends can have it ramifications I have found that, for me, building a solid friendship with a girl I like is an important step before trying anything romantic. If he/she doesn't like you as a friend first, there is no way there can be a meaningful relationship. But, then again, what do I know? I'm practically a monk....

As far as characteristics:

Intelligent: I need a girl who I can have meaningful discussions from the meaning of life to how mouthgasmic a good patty melt is.

Classy: I like a girl who looks good in an evening dress and who likes to ball room dance and things like that. I have never understood the good of bump and grind dancing (besides the obvious).

A good communicator: I, like most of us, suck at communicating and picking up on non-verbal cues. I need someone who can understand that, help me communicate, and give me the benefit of the doubt when I do something stupid.

Geeky: I spend most of my time working with tech and therefore most of my thoughts and interests are in that area. I need a girl who enjoys talking Ghz. I need her to support my work and it would be much easier for me to support her work if she were into tech. There is little that grabs my interest outside of tech, literature, games, music, and movies.

Attractive to me: Super models are great and all but I prefer girls with a less mainstream beauty. I find I have a more gestalt view of beauty; it's not just individual bodily characteristics but how they complement each other and come together to make a whole hottie. This is why I hate boob jobs, no matter how well they are done, the result never seems to fit with the rest of the girl's body.


So, yeah, I have high standard and will be looking forward to another decade of monkhood....

[quote="NeoPlatonist]

Attractive to me: Super models are great and all but I prefer girls with a less mainstream beauty. I find I have a more gestalt view of beauty; it's not just individual bodily characteristics but how they complement each other and come together to make a whole hottie. This is why I hate boob jobs, no matter how well they are done, the result never seems to fit with the rest of the girl's body.

[/quote]

I thought was the last man on Earth who had that view on beauty.

Dimples
Quirky humor
Brunette
Similar interests
Good taste in music & film
Hates Crowds
Loves Quiet Nights
Sexually Compatible

The likes list:
1) He has to be a gentleman and use proper manners. This is extremely important to me. I once read that a person who is nice to you but not nice to the waiter, is not a nice person. Opens doors, lets me loop my arm through his, walks slower because I'm short, tries to stifle gas, bathes, wears clean clothes, maybe even wears cologne, uses his napkin with dinner, doesn't inhale his food, cleans out his car if I actually let him pick me up at my place, etc. Because I guarantee him that I will enjoy being treated like a lady. I will look my prettiest, wear the best perfume for my chemistry, have interesting things to say, and order exactly what I want from the menu. If I feel like a salad, fine. If I feel like ordering exactly what he ordered, fine. I will be honest and genuine if we get to the point where I actually agree to see him. It will be fun unless he's not a gentleman.

2) He has to enjoy converstation and be as comfortable talking as he is asking questions. Broad range of topics including talking about himself. Yeah, I'm Aspie and I have trouble maintaining eye contact sometimes. Lack of eye contact doesn't always mean lack of interest. I think we all know that. If I'm not trying to find something interesting to talk about, I hope he is. On a first date, there are some silences that are uncomfortable.

3) He has to listen when I answer and not just stare at my features. He will know I'm listening when he answers because his answers will be recalled again later by me in another conversation. I like it when a man does this with me too. Sure, some staring is nice, if I even notice. Men that are interested in learning about what I'm saying and offer things for me to be interested about in what they are saying are better than the most handsome man alive who can't speak intelligently about anything at all.

4) He has to share witty observations about his daily life with me. I find these charming and humorous. I like to share things that are happening with me as well. We all look nicer when we laugh. Share something funny so we can both smile and laugh.

5) He has to allow me to pay for our night out sometimes. I don't expect that I will always be treated to a fabulous time out. I expect him to allow me to treat him sometimes too. Some men insist that they pay all the time. This frustrates me. I don't think either person should pay all the time.

6) There has to be mental and emotional attractions before the physical attraction is there. Sometimes the mental attraction is all that is there. Sometimes it's only physical. Things can't be one sided because I'm not interested in just having a fling. If I were, I'd pretend to be NT for a night.

7) If we are on a date where we are playing a game of some sort, he must not LET me win. There has to be an honest battle going on. I truly don't care if I win or lose, I care about the competition while playing. I like a challenge.

Eight) He must kiss me on the first date if I've smiled at things he's said at least 10 times. If he does not, I quickly start to analize what I did wrong and can go from thinking that was great and wanting to see him again to thinking he was only taking me out because he asked and made a mistake. If he absolutely knows it was wrong to ask me out, I prefer that he tell me that as quickly as possible. Why get my hopes up to have him tell me, yeah, you're all right, but not in THAT way. Ow... my bruised ego... starting to form blood blisters....ow.

9) He must not expect anything past 3rd base. If he expects it, I guarantee he will be declined and probably won't get a second date. If the date is going well, sure there have been 3rd base first dates. I'm not ashamed to admit that either.

10) He must have at least one of the following physical features - any combination -
a) be my height or taller
b) have a smile he's willing to show off
c) be an actual man (sorry ladies who'd rather be men, I'm flattered but not interested)

Things that don't matter to me at all if the brain is there: weight, sometimes wanting complete silence, callused hands, scars (sometimes there are great stories behind scars), tattoos (although I don't have any and don't want any, if a man has them, I don't mind), lack of eye contact, tobacco smokers

Total turn offs:

1) Checking out other women when he's there with me.

2) Being rude to me or anyone else.

3) Drug users.

4) Men who have to have alcohol every day.

5) Liars.

6) Teasing me personally about my mental, physical, or emotional capabilities or limitations.

7) Angry drivers.

Eight) Making me wait.

9) Constant complaining.

10) Talking about his ex the whole night as if comparing her to me.

Acts like a total b***h
Refuses to pay her part for dinners
Too Promiscous
Checks out other men
Thinks having sex is fun
Dresses like a prostitute

Double A. is that turnoffs for you or what you want?

Those are the really big turnoffs for me when I'm around girls, thanks. What I am looking for is in a previous post.

What are yours?

recent dating mishaps motivate me to add this to the list: Guys who act, even the littlest bit, like they have a pair. Don't be afraid to make a move and don't let me walk all over you! hate that!

I don't really have any turnoffs.

I'm open to almost anything.

basically if the girl is horny and wants action, I'll gladly give her what she wants.

We're both lucky.

Here, it only happens when The Moon is out. {Don't ask.}

Someone who is quiet,but not shy.

Honest,but not blunt.

Calm and collected.

Has simiular values,interests,and hobbies to mine.

Is unique and interesting.


-SpaceCase