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How can i stop this?

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Jamesy
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03 Jul 2012, 6:02 pm

having too see that photo of the girl i rejected on facebook reacently is painful becuase i find her attractive.

how can i deal with it? :?



Last edited by Jamesy on 03 Jul 2012, 6:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

jedaustin
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03 Jul 2012, 6:03 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Of course as well there is the risk in the future that my way of thinking will change again and i met adapt the same set of values that i did when i was a stupid 17 year old.

do you think that could be possible? :(

Pretty much anything is possible; you will be as you choose to be :)



Jamesy
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03 Jul 2012, 6:05 pm

having too see that photo of the girl i rejected on facebook reacently is painful becuase i find her attractive.

how can i deal with it?



jedaustin
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03 Jul 2012, 6:06 pm

Jamesy wrote:
having too see that photo of the girl i rejected on facebook reacently is painful becuase i find her attractive.

how can i deal with it?

Is she married?
If not facebook message her with something non threatening like - hello! haven't seen you in a long time/etc.



Jamesy
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03 Jul 2012, 6:10 pm

she NOW lives in a town quite a few miles away so do you think maybe thats not a great idea?



jedaustin
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03 Jul 2012, 6:12 pm

Jamesy wrote:
she NOW lives in a town quite a few miles away so do you think maybe thats not a great idea?

If you really like her you can always move.. for now you're just talking.
I learned not to jump too far into things or I burn myself or scare them away.



Jamesy
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03 Jul 2012, 6:17 pm

Don't laugh but since seeing that pic of her i have felt so depressed that i have not slept properly, eat properly and sunk into deep depression.

do you think i am overeacting too all of this?



jedaustin
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03 Jul 2012, 6:34 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Don't laugh but since seeing that pic of her i have felt so depressed that i have not slept properly, eat properly and sunk into deep depression.

do you think i am overeacting too all of this?

Yes you're over-reacting... been there, done that a hundred times.
Craft your intro, run it by someone you trust, and message her on facebook to break the ice.
Send a friend request/etc too.
Once you've broken the ice and have an idea of what her relationship status is be a little open and apologize for being a jerk to her. Don't jump straight to lets have a relationship/whatever you'll scare her away.
Aim for something 'friend-ish' and see how that goes first.



Jamesy
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03 Jul 2012, 6:38 pm

just becuase i did not fancy someone does not make me a jerk



jedaustin
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03 Jul 2012, 6:42 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Do you think i will find somebody one day? Becuase i am so scared that i will make the same mistakes about picky on who i date.

If I can (I've been with my wife for 18 years... married for 12) then anyone can.
Use the 5 whys on yourself - google "the five whys" to help you be more objective.
Try to make a true friend that will help you be aware when you're obsessing about things inappropriately (I am always asking myself.. Am I obsessing? Why?).



Jamesy
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03 Jul 2012, 6:47 pm

okay i did behave like a jerk too her i will admit :?

Do you think perhaps when i was 17 i was probably too imature too be any relationships?



jedaustin
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03 Jul 2012, 6:54 pm

Jamesy wrote:
okay i did behave like a jerk too her i will admit :?

Do you think perhaps when i was 17 i was probably too imature too be any relationships?

Actually that is a possibility and something you can safely say that won't offend her.



Jamesy
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03 Jul 2012, 6:59 pm

In your view why do u think i might have been too immature if u get what i mean? Personally i still think i have more growing up too do yet :)